Humor Short

Hi there, I'm Hank. Here’s what you need to know about me: I don’t try to make the kids in my class laugh, but somehow I do. Spelling is my worst subject. (Come to think of it, so are math and reading!) I try hard - I really do. So why does my brain always freeze into a popsicle? More than anything, Hank wants a dog. But before he can get one, his dad is laying down some rules. First, Hank has to improve his grades. Next, he has to prove that he’s a responsible pet owner. Can Hank get his brain to cooperate, so he can get his new furry best friend?

The agents of Sapphic Security are about to take on their most difficult challenge yet – kindergarten! Lucy As a teacher, I’m a mandatory reporter so when I saw the bruises on one of my students, I immediately called Child Protective Services. Now the student and his mother are in hiding and there’s an angry crime boss who blames me for him losing his family. When my CEO father insists on hiring me a bodyguard, they send the most stunning woman that I’ve ever seen. Too bad she’s so grumpy and serious. Bella Yeah, that’s right, I’m a vampire named Bella. Cue the movie jokes. As...

This book will make you laugh! In these tense times of uncertainty and division, this remarkable book is just what the doctor ordered! The book is filled with hilarious and humorously told stories. A self-described nerd, the author recounts his experiences growing up in the '50s and the endless predicaments he has found himself in throughout his life. From spending formative years as a missionary in Japan to learning life lessons in Las Vegas, Mancini's antics seem never-ending. His days looking for love, as he says in all the wrong places, are very funny. You will surely laugh at the ...

For all those craving more adventures of their favorite bookseller-by-day and burglar-by-night, The Burglar in Short Order for the first time ever collects all of Bernie Rhodenbarr's short-form appearances in one complete volume. From the story in which a prototype of Bernie first appeared (“A Bad Night for Burglars”) to his appearances in Playboy and (maybe? It's kinda complicated) Cosmopolitan...from an essay discussing Bernie's misadventures in Hollywood to a piece commissioned by a European publisher for a tourist guide to New York....

On the 12th floor of the Acme Building, on a cold February day in St. Paul, Guy Noir looks down the barrel of a loaded revolver in the hands of geezer gangster Joey Roast Beef, who is demanding to hear what lucrative scheme Guy is cooking up with stripper-turned-women's-studies-professor Naomi Fallopian. Everyone wants to know, and Guy faces them one by one, as he and Naomi pursue a dream of earning gazillions by selling a surefire method of dramatic weight loss.

Inviting 25 former classmates to a reunion dinner, Isabel sees an opportunity to finally resolve age-old differences among her classmates. But when damaging secrets and long-held resentments surface, Isabel finds the path to true forgiveness runs along a very slippery slope.

This short satirical book takes a brief and satirical look at lesbian history and culture, from fashion to queer celebrities and from coming out to how lesbians have sex, this guide will not only educate you on the ways of LGBT women, but it will also have you laughing with every page. "Such a funny read - literally belly laughed through it. Raw, real and hilarious insight into the world of coming out and living your life as a lady lover" For more funny lesbian and feminist blogs visit www.jennawimshurst.com

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

Fans who have enjoyed the first four novels in the series have questions, such as, "What would Steve do next?" "How did it all begin?" and "What the heck is a dweebil?" More Circles in Hell: A Boxed Set has the answers. I'm No Angel picks up where The Reluctant Demon leaves off. Beelzebub: A Memoir is the ultimate back story. Fourteen billion years in the making, Beezy's tale is one of chaos, creation, and of course comedy. In The League of Unusual Denizens, seven inhabitants of hell join forces to save the universe from destruction.

Join the Librarian as he does his best to make the post-apocalyptic world a better place by protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, and so on. Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not.

She came for a new life and found the love she never saw coming! Lisa I sacrificed everything in my quest to be the first female partner at my law firm – friends, a personal life, and even carbs. But when I get passed over for my promotion because I’m not married, I lose it. Next thing you know I’m a hot mess, unemployed and stuck in my condo eating junk food. That’s when my ex-fiancé’s new fiancée and her over-the-top mother offer me a lifeline: a fresh start in the picturesque town of Cedar Creek. Complicated right? But what more do I have to lose? Sean Despite watching my ...

A Pulitzer Prize finalist and winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, New York Times best-selling author Dave Eggers is the voice of a generation. This stunning collection of his matchless short fiction includes the highly acclaimed “The Only Meaning of Oil-Wet Water.”

Here are only a few of the new friends you'll meet in TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: ASHLEY wins a songwriting contest and backstage passes to meet her favorite rock star, but discovers there's only one true Rock worthy of her love. MELISSA dreads attending a new high school, but learns that unknown roads are often mapped out by God. NICOLE and her best friend must spend Valentine's Day at a nursing home where both encounter real love when they least expect it. WHITNEY suffers from insomnia, but a heavenly cure brings sweet dreams. JESSICA feels like she's missing out on Halloween fun, then learns ...

Sharply observant and outrageously funny, Rejection is a provocative plunge into the touchiest problems of modern life. The seven connected stories seamlessly transition between the personal crises of a complex ensemble and the comic tragedies of sex, relationships, identity, and the internet.

Albert and Rex are going to the palace. It’s the day the Kings' birthday honour list recipients get their knighthoods, but like everywhere else they go, there is trouble to be found. With his three children and youngest granddaughter, Apple-Blossom, in tow, Albert is a little embarrassed by the lavishness of the affair. Yet all that is forgotten when he spots a man he knows. A man guilty of murder. A man who can only be at the palace for one thing. But Albert is about to be presented to the king, now is not the time to be chasing criminals. I guess that's why he's Rex's sidekick. Step ...

Bestselling author Candace Ayers brings you SHORT "lunchtime quickie" reads—condensed romances intended to be read in under 2 hours! Dragon scales and bridal veils—billionaire shifters find their fiery mates! In the high-powered world of Los Angeles, my kind reigns supreme. From the shadows, that is. Power? Check. Wealth? Check. Heirs? Here’s where things get tricky.BfB is my shot at passing on my legacy. And my fortune. With an arranged marriage, I can check the last box on my list. Our union, of course, will be impersonal and unemotional. But when my eyes meet hers, something ...

The stories in this work include parodies of long-standing genres and original tales of irreverent occurrence. Each story involves humor that neither conforms to political correctness or social standards of good taste. These stories are not for the weak-hearted. These stories are for adults and include profanity, violence, sex, degenerate behavior, and spectacular drama and action. You may even find a moral or two thrown in somewhere amongst them. If you do, it was completely accidental. Found in this esteemed collection are these gems: Lust For Luscious Sherlock Jerkweed and the Case of ...

Brooklyn: This is not how I envisioned meeting Beauregard Addison Jr. I’ve been obsessed with him for as long as I can remember. There are so many rumors about him that it’s hard to distinguish fact from fiction. He only sleeps four hours a night. He spends more time on the company jet than he does on the ground. His work ethic is almost as big as his…endowment. I’ve clawed, scrimped, and saved up enough to get an interview as an intern at his company: Someday Came. But I’m having the worst morning of my life. Almost got run over. Spilled my Starbucks. Running late for the chance ...

Join us for epic adventures in the UP on land and lakes! Pirates, thieves, shipwrecks, sexy women, lost gold, and adventures on the Lake Superior frontier await you! In this audiobook, you’ll sail on a ship full of gold, outwit deadly shapeshifters, battle frontier outlaws, and even meet the mysterious agent that Andrew Jackson called "the meanest man" he ever knew. Packed with action, adventure, humor, and suspense, this audiobook has something for every listener.

From USA Today bestselling author, Julie Mulhern, comes a short worthy of the Country Club Murders name. For Aggie DeLucci, former assistant private investigator and current housekeeper extraordinaire, 1975 is turning out to be a banner year. There’s a new man her life, Mac. He makes her laugh, takes her dancing, and makes a helluva salami sandwich. When Mac is accused of theft, it’s up to Aggie to clear his name. She’ll have to polish her slightly tarnished investigative kills and tame her fears (and her hair) to catch the real thief. If this is your first trip to 70s Kansas City, ...