Humorous Horror

Ray Bridges, a professional electronics salesman, is looking for love in all the strange places. He spends most nights sneaking into support group meetings for the disabled in order to satisfy his deepest, darkest desires - to hook up with unfortunate, down-on-their-luck women who’ve recently lost a limb. There's a name for Ray’s preference; it’s called acrotomophilia, a paraphilia involving amputees. Conflicted, Ray wishes he could change. But he can’t. That is...until he meets the perfect girl. Falls in love with her. Only problem: her arms and legs are attached.

A tale as old as the horror genre itself. Five college students are on their way to old abandoned cabin the woods. What could possibly go wrong?

What's a ghoul to do when the latest job dropped in her lap involves the sudden disappearance and murder of several children in the area? It's not like she doesn't already have enough on her plate; what, with being recently declared Public Enemy Number One by the Templars (an organization of which her roommate and best friend, Lisa Jenkins, is a member), and a problem involving the neighbor's massive dogs using her lawn as a toilet, which is becoming a real issue for the goblin horde living in her basement.

They thought the old man was harmless. Just another tramp found collapsed in an abandoned housing estate. At Northcote Hospital they put him in a bed and let him keep the strange old book he insisted on clutching.

Librarian-witch Jane Madison has been invited to join the prestigious Washington Coven - a necessary step, if she’s going to hold onto her feline familiar, her beloved arcane books, and her sexy warder, David Montrose. As the Coven’s tests become more challenging, though, Jane must decide if she can trust her new witchy friend, Haylee. And then there’s that handsome Brit, Graeme Henderson, who is proving to be most distracting...Jane is about to be tested in ways she’s never imagined - and, pass or fail, nothing will ever be the same!

Blue McKenna is dead—it isn't pretty. Her innards are strewn all over the bridge in front of Juniper Hollow, but she still can't make it to the white light. Blue's spirit is trapped in a nightmare scenario involving the Department of Motor Vehicles. Evidently, the DMV is as terrible in death as it is in life. Too bad the only one who can rescue Blue is a snarky cat named Skitters. And he hates her guts. All of them. Scottie Sphincter, lead singer of the Rectal Surgeons, can't move on, either. Why does Scottie keep getting ghosted by women like Blue?

Funny, insightful, provocative and engaging, Scott Telek’s movie writing is never boring. Culled from the acclaimed website he ran from 2015 to 2013, these reviews bring attention to under-appreciated cult gems and call out hidden themes in films we think we know. Telek’s point of view on film focuses less on whether a movie is “good” and considers everything equally as a work of creative art, however misguided it may be. He will frequently divert into discussion of the social issues raised by a film or simply pepper his reviews with jokes. His love of the bizarre, subversive, ...

When you look into the abyss...the abyss looks into you. After dumping the body of a serial killer on my former boss’s desk, I handed in my cop badge, which I’ve replaced with an FBI badge. Yep, I’m a Fed. I work for Special Affairs, a clandestine department tasked with policing the occult underground. In the meantime, my personal life is a disaster zone. There’s a Yakuza boss who wants to kill me, and my crazy Hellicorn is going through an existential crisis. But it’s the evil warlock who is making my life a living nightmare.

In this story from the novel, “SuperHero – Retirement”, recently retired SuperHeroes battling their fiercest Arch-Villain . . . Boredom, commensurate at a weekly picnic about the good and bad times.

At long last, all of Bridget Sway's dreams are about to come true! She is in a department store. Shopping. Yes. Shopping! She has new makeup. New shoes. And, most importantly, is finally about to get some new underwear. But, instead of finding a frilly knicker and bra set, she finds the body of a dead medium. A familiar dead medium.

Tales from the Eerie Canal weaves the sinister mystery of Edgar Allan Poe with the dark humor of Edward Gorey. No canal. No Lake Erie. Just a stream of the disturbing splashed with bits of the absurd.

When Dallas, the self-proclaimed hero of Trappersville, is recruited by an ancient order of monster hunters, he’s more than happy to sign up. The group’s leader, Colton, is solid as oak. Randall ain’t half bad, despite his tendency to whine. The whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass Aletia is whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass. Under their guidance, Dallas learns everything there is to know about hunting monsters (or close enough) and pledges to keep his friends safe.

For fans of Nancy Drew, Veronica Mars, and female teen sleuths! Kait Lenox is officially Ethan Ripley's girlfriend and she might even be kinda sorta becoming non enemies with her ex-bff Ariel Walker. Everything is going great! That is until Kait stumbles across another suspicious death at her favorite coffee shop, Wired. Not able to help herself, Kait sets out to investigate! Suddenly Kait's problems go from whether or not she should say the L-word to fears that the murder she's investigating might not be murder at all. Should Kait follow her gut or is she just chasing murders? The Funeral ...

A collection of short stories about people living on the margins of society.

Bringing an insightful knowledge of film craft and his inimitable sense of humor to the analysis of films that maybe don’t deserve it is what Scott Telek chose to devote years of his life to. Here you will reap the fruits of his misguided enterprise as we cover 37 films in the horror genre, films that begin the letters N, O or P. Hilarious but intelligent, Telek’s writing results in movie reviews that are often more fun to read than watching the films themselves. In this volume we cover the killer-bunny classic Night of the Lepus, and have two films of the Nightmare on Elm Streetseries,...

Alice the chrononaut falls down an unmarked dimensional rift, or rabbit hole, which transports her to the wondrous lands as imagined by author Lewis Carroll. But this is a very real place, as any parallel reality that can be thought of can be created. Wonderland is being torn apart by warring kingdoms, cruel monarchs, cosmic corporations, odd gods, and the forces of Cthulhu!

A sentient cloud whose arrogance leads to its own demise. A rich uncle who discovers a possible solution to climate change, but is not who he appears to be. A phantom killer who uses other people (and their cars) to commit murder. Balloons that predict the future. Paranormal investigators at the beach. Wolfmen who hunt bears for sport. A Cinderella story at a retirement home. Celebrities forced to make movies for eternity in a simulated world. A girlfriend who believes we reside in the mind of God.

Adam and Alice are reaching the age when some of the children created by the fertility treatment that spawned them begin to turn feral. Will they succomb to the same physiological horror that destroyed their parents? Every change brings on terror - the voice cracking as it changes, the swelling of the breasts, the coarsening of down into actual hair. Their aunt, Cynthia, oversees renovations to the Twisden family's Manhattan residence - torn apart by the children's parents at their most savage....

On a scale from zero to dumpster fire, I tend to hang out at the far, trash-burning end. But lately, things have been going eerily well. So when Festus showed up with a birthday cake and less blood on his suit than usual, I was a little more than skeptical. Add to that a scythe-wielding accountant that is wearing the carpet thin, a demonic soiree in Missouri, a murderous gang of Red Caps in cheese country, a lie-detecting seven-year-old, and a snooty corporate cult, and I can smell the gas fumes on the trash heap at 40 paces.

Men come and go, but magic is forever…right? Wrong. After a few months of letting witchcraft slide, Jane Madison discovers that not using her powers has her rapidly losing them. Meanwhile, her warder is avoiding her, her familiar has moved out, her mother is abandoning her again, and her grandmother is…getting married? With her world turned topsy-turvy, Jane is at her wits' end trying to set things right. Staking everything on a last-ditch spell that backfires spectacularly, Jane is left full of questions.