Humorous Horror

As the daughter of Dracula, you would think I’d be born the perfect monster. You couldn’t be more wrong. As far as monsters go, I’m a screw up—if I’m not tripping over my own feet, I’m accidentally murdering someone (it’s a real issue, guys). Left with no choice, Dad decides to send me to Prodigium—otherwise known as Monster Academy—to train me on how to be a better monster. When bodies turn up on campus, I’m the prime suspect (not that I can blame them).

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. He is handsome, sophisticated, charming, and intelligent. He is also a psychopath. And he is taking us to a head-on collision with America's greatest dream - and its worst nightmare...

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

It’s a club like no other. Only the most important women receive an invitation. But one daring young reporter is about to infiltrate this female-run secret society, whose bewitching members are caught up in a dark and treacherous business. From the author of Happy and You Know It.

Amy Foster considers herself lucky. After she left the city and went full minivan, she found her place quickly with neighbors Liz, Jess, and Melissa, together snarking the “Mom Mafia” from the outskirts of the PTA mom crowd. So, one night during their monthly wine get-together, the newfound crew concocts a plan for a clubhouse She Shed in Liz’s backyard—the perfect space for just them, no spouses or kids allowed.

Rape. Murder. Brain-eating. Never before has a work of fiction dared to delve so deeply into the realms of perversion, sexual dementia, and bad taste. Who is he? What is he? An inbred homicidal pervert? A supernatural psychopath? Who or whatever he is, he's on a roll now, raging out of the Virginia backwoods and leaving in his wake a trail of blood, guts, and disgust far beyond the limits of your reckoning.

Tom is fascinated with bones, human bones. He wants to study them and gets his chance when Mr. Dukes allows him to dig in the vacant lot behind his store. What Tom unearths makes the neighborhood kids tremble with fear. "Ally ally oxen free!" These four little words can bring anyone out of hiding.

In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.

Stephanie's uncle Gordon is a writer of horror fiction. But when he dies and leaves her his estate, Stephanie learns that, while he may have written horror, it certainly wasn't fiction. Pursued by evil forces intent on recovering a mysterious key, Stephanie finds help from an unusual source, the wisecracking skeleton of a dead wizard.

Bundle of Erotic Stories for Adults! Includes 12 stories: 'Look Inside' the book to see a sample! A Dirty Dozen: Erotic Stories For Adults: Bundle 1 (From A Brat's First Time to Group to Hot Wives & More!) Over 95,000 words of exactly what you think... Includes: Lots of Variety - A Brat's First Time, Deep Penetration, Bi-curious Females, Groups, Backdoor, Threesomes, & More! Adults Only.

Meet the ultra-rational Dr Newton Barlow. Cool, cynical, scientific, he’s the last man you’d want to be a bridge between the living and the dead. But with his academic reputation in tatters, and nothing to lose but his few remaining marbles, the great skeptic is about to discover that the past that haunts him will be nothing compared to his ghost-ridden future.

Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn’t the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It’s the ’80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre. But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her coworkers’ mean-spirited pranks.

Bret Ellis, the narrator of Lunar Park, is the bestselling writer whose first novel Less Than Zero catapulted him to international stardom while he was still in college. In the years that followed he found himself adrift in a world of wealth, drugs, and fame, as well as dealing with the unexpected death of his abusive father.

Welcome! Come aboard! Party At Your Own Risk! An invitation to an intergalactic party aboard a rogue spacecraft intrigues Holly and her friend Devyn. The fact that the ship has mutants as well as humans only adds to their interest and excitement. Her captain warns her ... but Holly has to see for herself ... and it’s not what she was told to expect ... not at all! Apprx. 10,000 words Alien fisting, menage, sex, medical exam and more!

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Dirty Hotwife Bundle PLUS Bonus!!! ”Guess what I just wagered? I put you up as the booty and I lost!!!” This is how I became an unintentional hotwife! My husband can be a real goof-off sometimes, and he can pull some real bonehead moves, I’ll tell you. His latest screw up on poker night really beats it all, tho. My loving husband decided to ante up with yours truly as the bet, and he LOST! So his two co-workers get a shot at me… both at the same time. I was already letting his boss have his way with me in our bedroom!!! So now I have THREE HOT MEN to PLEASE!!! I just can’t seem to...

A fun, fast, fantastical listen: After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In fact, my first assignment is to discover who murdered my predecessor.

The riveting debut work from celebrated newcomer Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer drops a seemingly average boy into the adventure of a lifetime. Sam can’t complain about much, even if his job isn’t the most glamorous one around. But his world gets a whole lot more complicated when he crosses paths with Douglas, a necromancer who gets paid to raise the dead. Douglas thinks Sam might have the right touch for necromancing, and when this turns out to be all too true, Sam faces unimaginable dangers.

Felix as far as he can remember has never been anything else than a humorous talking skeleton. He's been living with Alicia Whiimblebright, a thirty-ish-year-old witch of Cuban descent, and Augustus a banished reaper. Life is good for Felix until he asks Alicia to place him in her store, Patchouli Mystical Tesoros Shop. He figured since he only comes to life at night, no one will see him watching the residents of Wisterious Bay. Against her better judgment, Alicia agrees to let Felix stand by the window of her shop for a week. Little does she know that a lot can happen in a week. A few days...

In the town of Night Vale, there’s a faceless old woman who secretly lives in everyone’s home, but no one knows how she got there or where she came from...until now. Told in a series of eerie flashbacks, the story of The Faceless Old Woman goes back centuries to reveal an initially blissful and then tragic childhood on a Mediterranean Estate in the early 19th century, her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe, a nautical adventure with a mysterious organization of smugglers, her plot for revenge on the ones who betrayed her, and ultimately her death and its aftermath.