Humorous Horror

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?

Verity King has a problem with her husband. He’s been turned into a frog, and contrary to opinion, that’s not an improvement. A cryptic message, a severed finger in her fridge, and no signs of forced entry make it clear to Tempest why he was called, but Mr King’s worrying transformation is just the first act. Almost before he can add up the clues, a second victim confirms the theme and Tempest finds himself up against someone performing modern retellings of the Grimm Brothers’ Fairy Tales … with real live human characters. Tempest also has a new partner and it’s not his old army...

Pippilotta "Pip" Francis has had a crappy life. Single mom at eighteen. No money. No friends. And definitely no Lululemon yoga pants. The worst part of her day isn’t getting snubbed by horny stay-at-home moms drooling over the hot young librarian at storytime. It’s bumping into Dr. Thad Blackgrave — arrogant, secretive, and British enough to make tea boil on sight. Because worse than overdue fines she can’t pay is this: The blood moon isn’t a myth. And the beasts it calls forth? They’re not here for storytime. Now Pip and Thad — the biggest, handsomest prick she has absolutely...

Hot 6 Story Bundle! Be the First to Read the Bundle of Lakelyn Wilder & Jaden Fair Stories… Includes Lakelyn Wilder’s: Ganged At the Cabin Forced By Strangers ~ Book 1 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 2 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 3 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 4 Plus a Story By Jaden Fair: BIG Surprise for the Sitter 6 Stories Dripping With Delicious Suspense! Intimate explicit situations, backdoor, threesome, group, and more!

After battling drug and alcohol abuse and struggling to complete anything worthwhile, Jeremiah James is inspired by his anthropologist cousin, Chelsea, to pursue a childhood dream they shared: searching for Sasquatch. However, their expedition quickly turns perilous as they encounter something far more dangerous—an ancient, malevolent creature lurking in the deep, dark woods, hungry for flesh. Now, Jeremiah must summon all his strength and courage to do the impossible: fight a creature of legend if he and his cousin are to survive their nightmarish journey...

It all started when Cadence was asked to listen to the dying old man’s stories at the peaceful desert retirement home. Slowly, Cadence realized each story was about him and a black skull a slave demon named Jarvis had given him centuries ago. The demons came for him one by one with each one appearing larger and more powerful and all of them wanted the black skull. Through the course of a hundred years, Cadence has to figure out why they were after the skull and what dark magic it possessed. In 1940, he asked the witch Meadow to hide the skull for him, so the demons could not take it. Now ...

Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.

Lily was the stuff of any man’s fantasy… and she was also something else: My best friend’s mom! A geeky kid gets his first shot at being with a ‘real’ woman… she’s hot like those celebrity moms on TV, but she’s real and so hot she could be a swimsuit model. She’s also sexy and lonely and willing… even though she’s also his best friend’s mom! He’s more than a little inexperienced and has to feel his way through it!

Nasty Bet ~ A Dirty Collection of Quick Short Stories For Adults Rough Erotic Tales From Brats, Daddy Dom, Hotwife, Age Gap, Old Men to MFM Threesome, Menage, Group, Ganged, Shared and Used 20 Hot Stories Plus Free Bonus Stories Included. Enjoy the read!

There’s a voodoo woman in New Orleans who knows your darkest secrets French Quarter paranormal investigator Wyatt Thomas learns he’s permanently linked to the spirit of a man with whom he’d fought a duel during another lifetime. The only person who can free Wyatt from his curse is long-dead voodoo queen Marie Laveaux. To seek her help, he must travel back to Antebellum New Orleans, succeed in his endeavor, or be trapped in the past forever. When Wyatt meets his former lover at the Mulatto Ball, he doesn’t know if he wants to return. While Wyatt is time traveling, detective Tony ...

This collection of 12 twisted tales dives deep into the anxieties of a generation that grew up with the internet, got ghosted by the housing market, and fears their student loans more than actual ghosts.

Our favorite white trash zombie, Angel Crawford, has enough problems of her own, what with dealing with her alcoholic, deadbeat dad, issues with her not-quite boyfriend, the zombie mafia, industrial espionage, and evil corporations. Oh, and it’s raining, and won’t let up. But things get even crazier when a zombie movie starts filming in town, and Angel begins to suspect that it’s not just the plot of the movie that's rotten. Soon she's fighting her way through mud, blood, bullets, and intrigue, even as zombies, both real and fake, prowl the streets.

The Day Started Like Any Other… Except It was My Birthday! Be the First to Read Lakelyn’s Latest! I was all set to spend my birthday at the lake with my boyfriend. We’d lay in the sun, splash in the surf and end up in our favorite, secluded spot having sex in the outdoors… But that’s not exactly how the day went… the day took an unexpected turn… and the last thing I expected to happen… DID! Lakelyn Wilder’s latest solo story includes explicit sex, rough, group, backdoor and even MORE hot erotic suspense that drips off of every word! Approx. Length: 5000 words

A fun, fast, fantastical listen: After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In fact, my first assignment is to discover who murdered my predecessor.

It's time for the annual Recipe Days bake-off in Lubbock, Texas. Soccer moms and grandmothers gather to show off their family recipes, learn new secrets for the perfect shortcake, and perhaps earn a chance to be on the famous cooking show, How Would You Cook It, Then? When the bake-off is crashed by a federation of pro wrestlers - including American Badass, Jersey Devil Jill, Tiny Giant, The Village Person, Jonah the Whale, the Hellbillies, and the fan favorite Xombie - all hell is set to break loose. Your heart beats faster as you anticipate who will come out on top in the ultimate showdown of the century: soccer moms or pro wrestlers.

For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, dealing with her mother’s considerable debts and grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience.

Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.

As the daughter of Dracula, you would think I’d be born the perfect monster. You couldn’t be more wrong. As far as monsters go, I’m a screw up—if I’m not tripping over my own feet, I’m accidentally murdering someone (it’s a real issue, guys). Left with no choice, Dad decides to send me to Prodigium—otherwise known as Monster Academy—to train me on how to be a better monster. When bodies turn up on campus, I’m the prime suspect (not that I can blame them).

ALL FOUR BOOKS OF THE CTHULHU INCIDENT! EXCITEMENT, MYSTERY, ADVENTURE AND TERROR WILL GRAB YOU AND NOT LET GO, AS THE HEROIC TEAM OF G1, THE BUREAU OF EXTRAORDINARY AFFAIRS, PURSUE A CULT LEADER UNLEASHING THE HORDES OF HELL ON LONDON AND THE WORLD. WILL EVEN THE CANNY ABILITIES OF G1 BE ENOUGH TO STOP THE MONSTERS AND THE LEADER WHO SUMMONED THEM FROM CREATING HELL ON EARTH? Buy now.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.