Humorous Horror

Yancy Lazarus is having a bad day: there's a bullet lodged in his butt cheek, his face looks like the site of a demolition derby, and he's been saran-wrapped to a banquet table. He never should have answered the phone. Stupid bleeding heart - helping others in his circles is a good way to die - just ask the gang members ripped to pieces by some kind of demonic nightmare in LA.

A collection of stories: The Possessed Printer Blues: A woman buys a printer at a yard sale. The Long Day Sun: A photography student helps out a friend. Savory Taro Pudding: A short nightmare based on true events. Billionaire Babies: It turns out you can't trust billionaires. Bath Salts Vampire: Teen girls with low self-esteem + a drug dealer who thinks he's an ancient vampire. What could go wrong?

A small logging village on the outskirts of the Crescent is being terrorised by a serial killer, and an innocent family is being blamed for the murders. In this fresh take on the Red Riding Hood myth, Amber and Jadah have to match their wits against the killer before time runs out, and the killer finds another victim - or the village turns on the werewolves that have lived amongst them peacefully for years. And if that happens, all hell will break lose. Either way, this story ends in blood. Blood Moon Dance is a novella of around 17K, and takes place shortly after the events of WolfSong, ...

America’s most-read, most-watched, and most­ beloved serial killer - Dexter Morgan - is back. After selling more than one million copies and inspiring the wildly popular number one Showtime series and top-rated crime drama on pay-cable television, New York Times best-selling author Jeff Lindsay returns with his most hilarious, macabre, and purely entertaining novel yet. Dexter Morgan has always lived a happy homicidal life. He keeps his dark urges in check by adhering to one stead­fast rule...he only kills very bad people.

Dirty Hotwife Bundle PLUS Bonus!!! ”Guess what I just wagered? I put you up as the booty and I lost!!!” This is how I became an unintentional hotwife! My husband can be a real goof-off sometimes, and he can pull some real bonehead moves, I’ll tell you. His latest screw up on poker night really beats it all, tho. My loving husband decided to ante up with yours truly as the bet, and he LOST! So his two co-workers get a shot at me… both at the same time. I was already letting his boss have his way with me in our bedroom!!! So now I have THREE HOT MEN to PLEASE!!! I just can’t seem to...

In this story from the novel, “SuperHero – Retirement”, amidst an alien invasion, a retired, married, SuperHero couple has a “moment” only a retired, married, SuperHero couple could. "I retire. You give my SuperSuits to GoodWill. You retire, you buy new ones. Babe, we're on a fix income."

OMG! What is my doctor doing to me?! A Hard Exam in So Many Ways! But My Doctor Has a Dirty Little Secret ... that only he and I know about . . . I have a stranger’s hands all over me… and in me... and all the while there’s something I’m sure I should remember... My doctor has been restrained… tied to the exam table… and all the while I keep thinking he seems so familiar! Livvy is reminded of an incident that happened in her late teens when her then boyfriend wanted to do a full physical examination on her… and he played a little TRICK on her that she’s never forgotten Who ...

When did the weird become my normal life? That's Tony Mandolin's feeling when he has to deal with the original Count Dracula…and a massive hangover…at the same time. What does a rumpled private investigator do when the original wants to reunite with his estranged, "teetotalling" vampire family and figures Tony's just the guy to solve all his problems? And then there's this rogue dragon, the secret all librarians share, and an issue the Castro district thinks only Tony can solve. Ah... life.

The Black Knight Chronicles: lots of vampires. No sparkles. Serious snark. This bundle includes books one through there: Hard Day's Knight, Back in Black, and Knight Moves.

From Sophia Bannion’s first day on the Storytelling team at HEBE, a luxury skincare/wellness company based in New York’s trendy SoHo neighborhood, it’s clear something is deeply amiss. But Sophia, pushing thirty, has plenty of skeletons in her closet next to the designer knockoffs and doesn’t care. Though she leads an outwardly charmed life, she aches for a deeper meaning to her flat existence—and a cure for her brutal nail-biting habit. She finds it all and more at HEBE, and with Tree Whitestone, HEBE’s charismatic founder and CEO.

Here you have found a book so foul, so repulsive, so horrifying...that you will undoubtedly find yourself running to the nearest bathroom in an effort to both relieve your bowels and scrub your hands clean of its putrid filth. They have finally released this humorous collection of terrifying tales, despite the bitter public outcry which demanded these pages never see the light of day...and perhaps for good reason.

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

Nilanjana Sikdar is an outsider to the town of Night Vale. Working for Carlos, the town's top scientist, she relies on fact and logic as her guiding principles. But all of that is put into question when Carlos gives her a special assignment investigating a mysterious rumbling in the desert wasteland outside of town. This investigation leads her to the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God and to Darryl, one of its most committed members.

The Radleys is a moving, thrilling, and radiant domestic novel that explores with daring the lengths a parent will go to protect a child, what it costs you to deny your identity, the undeniable appeal of sin, and the everlasting, iridescent bonds of family love. Read it and ask what we grow into when we grow up, and what we gain - and lose - when we deny our appetites.

Great New Low Price! Was $2.99. Now 2 Bucks Off! Lovely Young Woman Gets Her Cherry Popped! The boss’s eighteen-year-old daughter Chrissie makes Zac an offer: She wants him to be her first, if he’s up for it. Is he up for it?! Chrissie is not just your average summer intern… Untouched is the last thing young Chrissie wants to be… and she comes up with a way to get her cherry popped while working as an office intern at her Dad’s company. She doesn’t count on getting her other cherry busted as well! Story: 7000 words Filthy sex that’s stinking hot. MF, first time, oral, ...

From the best-selling author of the Sandman Slim series, a lush, dark, stand-alone fantasy built off the insurgent tradition of China Mieville and M. John Harrison - a subversive tale that immerses us in a world where the extremes of bleakness and beauty exist together in dangerous harmony in a city on the edge of civility and chaos. The Great War is over. The city of Lower Proszawa celebrates the peace with a decadence and carefree spirit as intense as the war’s horrifying despair.

Keisha Lewis lived a quiet life with her wife, Alice, until the day Alice disappeared. After months of searching, presuming she was dead, Keisha held a funeral, mourned, and gradually tried to get on with her life. But that was before Keisha started to see her wife, again and again, in the background of news reports from all over America. Alice isn't dead, and she is showing up at every major tragedy and accident in the country. Following a line of clues, Keisha takes a job as a long-haul truck driver and begins searching for Alice.

Brian, an aimless slacker, works doubles at his shift job, forgets to clean his room and lays about with his friends Nik and Darby. He's been struggling to manage his transition to adulthood almost as much as his monthly transitions to a werewolf. Really, he is not great at the whole werewolf thing, and his recent murderous slip-ups have caught the attention of Tyler, a Millennial were-mentor determined to take the mythological world by storm.

Lorrie Moore’s first novel since A Gate at the Stairs—a daring, meditative exploration of love and death, passion and grief, and what it means to be haunted by the past, both by history and the human heart. A teacher visiting his dying brother in the Bronx. A mysterious journal from the nineteenth century stolen from a boarding house. A therapy clown and an assassin, both presumed dead, but perhaps not dead at all...

In this story from the novel, “SuperHero – Retirement”, not happy with where their relationship is going, a SuperSorceress gives her SuperBoyfriend some SuperMotivation.