Humorous Horror

Happy Birthday to Me! I’m turning 21 … and there’s Only ONE Thing I Want . . . My birthday's coming up. Will I finally get what I want? What I wanted most for my twenty-first birthday was to be fisted by my stepbrother, Kyle. I've made my wish and blew out the candles, now all I need is for Kyle to make my birthday wish come true. Will it be a birthday to remember? Will my rock-solid stepbrother be willing to stretch my tight and hot little hole? Will I get a birthday bonus as well? Short erotica: 10,000 words.

In the summer of 1987, StarBright Shopping Mall is the place to be—until a masked killer with a bizarre fixation on butts turns it into a slaughtering ground. As the booty count rises, panic spreads faster than parachute pants on an ironing board. With a mix of laugh-out-loud humor and spine-chilling terror, this book will keep you on the edge of your seat, wondering, “Why did anyone write this?” and “Is my butt truly safe?”

Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

It all started when Cadence was asked to listen to the dying old man’s stories at the peaceful desert retirement home. Slowly, Cadence realized each story was about him and a black skull a slave demon named Jarvis had given him centuries ago. The demons came for him one by one with each one appearing larger and more powerful and all of them wanted the black skull. Through the course of a hundred years, Cadence has to figure out why they were after the skull and what dark magic it possessed. In 1940, he asked the witch Meadow to hide the skull for him, so the demons could not take it. Now ...

ALL FOUR BOOKS OF THE CTHULHU INCIDENT! EXCITEMENT, MYSTERY, ADVENTURE AND TERROR WILL GRAB YOU AND NOT LET GO, AS THE HEROIC TEAM OF G1, THE BUREAU OF EXTRAORDINARY AFFAIRS, PURSUE A CULT LEADER UNLEASHING THE HORDES OF HELL ON LONDON AND THE WORLD. WILL EVEN THE CANNY ABILITIES OF G1 BE ENOUGH TO STOP THE MONSTERS AND THE LEADER WHO SUMMONED THEM FROM CREATING HELL ON EARTH? Buy now.

Pippilotta "Pip" Francis has had a crappy life. Single mom at eighteen. No money. No friends. And definitely no Lululemon yoga pants. The worst part of her day isn’t getting snubbed by horny stay-at-home moms drooling over the hot young librarian at storytime. It’s bumping into Dr. Thad Blackgrave — arrogant, secretive, and British enough to make tea boil on sight. Because worse than overdue fines she can’t pay is this: The blood moon isn’t a myth. And the beasts it calls forth? They’re not here for storytime. Now Pip and Thad — the biggest, handsomest prick she has absolutely...

They call me a monster. Murderous and hateful. Beautiful but broken. Nothing can calm the ever raging storm inside of me. As the ruthless leader of the Doubeck family, there is a certain standard of brutality, I have to uphold. Then I meet her. Beautiful, innocent, and so very afraid. Valentina is a rival family's daughter, and the little temptress has purposely tangled herself in my dark web. She seeks me out, needing my help, but the price for what she wants will be steep.

Our favorite white trash zombie, Angel Crawford, has enough problems of her own, what with dealing with her alcoholic, deadbeat dad, issues with her not-quite boyfriend, the zombie mafia, industrial espionage, and evil corporations. Oh, and it’s raining, and won’t let up. But things get even crazier when a zombie movie starts filming in town, and Angel begins to suspect that it’s not just the plot of the movie that's rotten. Soon she's fighting her way through mud, blood, bullets, and intrigue, even as zombies, both real and fake, prowl the streets.

The Day Started Like Any Other… Except It was My Birthday! Be the First to Read Lakelyn’s Latest! I was all set to spend my birthday at the lake with my boyfriend. We’d lay in the sun, splash in the surf and end up in our favorite, secluded spot having sex in the outdoors… But that’s not exactly how the day went… the day took an unexpected turn… and the last thing I expected to happen… DID! Lakelyn Wilder’s latest solo story includes explicit sex, rough, group, backdoor and even MORE hot erotic suspense that drips off of every word! Approx. Length: 5000 words

Nasty Bet ~ A Dirty Collection of Quick Short Stories For Adults Rough Erotic Tales From Brats, Daddy Dom, Hotwife, Age Gap, Old Men to MFM Threesome, Menage, Group, Ganged, Shared and Used 20 Hot Stories Plus Free Bonus Stories Included. Enjoy the read!

In the nation’s Capital, someone is re-enacting the murders from a series of grisly horror books, and all the evidence points towards the author as the perpetrator. The big problem with that? He died a year ago. In suspicious circumstances. There were rumours of murder, but no arrests followed the original investigation. Now the victims are those who were closest to him, and it looks like the author has come back from the dead to exact his revenge. Hired by the author’s wife, who fears she may be next, Amanda and Tempest head to London for a case that will challenge the premise on which...

Welcome to Camp Creepout. You know the place—the fog rolls in heavy, the trees whisper your name, and the canoes? Well, they have teeth. When 11-year-old Josh and his best friend Cooper arrive at Camp Creepout, they expect some hiking, s’mores, and maybe a few bug bites. What they don’t expect is to be stalked by a wooden monster with paddles for arms and a taste for rule-breaking campers. Now it’s up to a crew of goofy, terrified kids, a glowing-eyebrowed counselor, and a lot of marshmallows to stop an ancient canoe uprising before the entire camp is eaten—one bunkmate at a time....

Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.

Psst...hey kid...do you want to read some scary stories? You do? Well, that's just great, because I happen to have four beautifully wicked stories for you to check out late at night under your blankets when your parents have gone to sleep. Grab your flashlight and prepare yourself for a ghoulish treat. Includes these scary stories: Beware the Blue Hubbard Camp Chin-up Here, Boy! Night at the Nursing Home

It's time for the annual Recipe Days bake-off in Lubbock, Texas. Soccer moms and grandmothers gather to show off their family recipes, learn new secrets for the perfect shortcake, and perhaps earn a chance to be on the famous cooking show, How Would You Cook It, Then? When the bake-off is crashed by a federation of pro wrestlers - including American Badass, Jersey Devil Jill, Tiny Giant, The Village Person, Jonah the Whale, the Hellbillies, and the fan favorite Xombie - all hell is set to break loose. Your heart beats faster as you anticipate who will come out on top in the ultimate showdown of the century: soccer moms or pro wrestlers.

Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?

For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, dealing with her mother’s considerable debts and grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience.

A fun, fast, fantastical listen: After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In fact, my first assignment is to discover who murdered my predecessor.

The story of a man who became his bathroom.