Irish Humor

A humorous sketch from Robert E. Kearns (author of A Donnybrook Affair, Crabb, Hy Brasil, Freedom is For the Few, Carnivore, Ossuary and Embers) which explores our frustrations with customer service departments and their apparent understanding of those frustrations. Fun and imaginative, perfect for the staging of a short play or a quick read. For anyone who has ever gone around in circles with a representative, this is the piece for you.

Kate has taught herself to be careful, to be meticulous. To mark the anniversary of a death in the family, she plans a dinner party—from the fancy table settings to the perfect Baked Alaska waiting in the freezer. Yet by the end of the night, old tensions have flared, the guests have fled, and Kate is spinning out of control. But all we have is ourselves, her father once said, all we have is family.

Janessa: I’ve been in love with Seamus since the day I met him, even though I’d been fourteen at the time. Now that I’m an adult, I’m ready to go claim my man. Maybe I was stupid thinking he’d wait for me, or maybe I just really wanted a fairytale ending. Seeing another woman in his arms hurt like hell, so I ran…straight into trouble.

Words of a Feather is a stunning collection of Short Stories, Poems and Sketches from author, Robert E. Kearns. There's something inside for every taste, and Words of a Feather comes packed with hours of reading pleasure. Replete with entertainment, there is sure to be laughs, tears, spills and thrills. Satisfying pleasures of the mind, Words of a Feather is a book you'll want to read again and again.

Written in 1911, The Card is the story of Edward Henry (Denry) Machin, who rises from washerwoman's son to the Mayor of Bursley (Burslem in the Potteries town of Stoke-on-Trent) via a mixture of gentle deceit and personal hype. He is literally a trickster of confidence. His rise to fame is begun at an exclusive ball to which he has got himself invited, where he has the audacity to claim a dance with the glamourous but imposing Countess of Chell.

I was an out-of-work rugby coach who was soon to be divorced. My old dear was sliding away in a nursing home in a certain suburb of West Dublin. And my old man had brought the country to the verge of, like, nuclear annihilation. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my teenage daughter was in love again. My sister-in-law was about to give birth to a baby that was possibly mine. And Castlerock College was about to go – I can’t even say the word – co-ed.

May Rosevere has reached the grand old age of 110, thanks to several slices of toast with butter every morning, a glass (or two) of port, and the wonders of the Cornish sea air - or so she tells everyone. But there’s much more to May than her remarkable age. She has a secret. One that no one has ever discovered....

"My Irish grandfather, Thomas Lawrence Downey, was a great storyteller. I never tired of sitting on his knee - and later, when I was a bit too big, sitting at his feet with one of my baby sisters on his knee - listening to his wonderful tall tales. Among the stories I loved the best were the ones about the Irish - and the Downey family in particular. In those tales, I'm afraid, 'dramatic flair' and artistic liberties took over for fact. But as any good storyteller knows, to embellish is to make the tale interesting, especially to a young Tomie."

"Continued brilliance. The characters will make you laugh and cry and fume while you're reading. Comic Irish writing at its best." Colin Quinn Desperate mother of seven, Fionnuala Flood, thinks her new get-rich-quick scheme will pay the bills, but instead it threatens to tear her family apart. The case of canned vegetables she bought contains not spuds but explosives, and a defunct IRA branch will stop at nothing to get them back. Meanwhile, her two oldest sons are in prison, her husband's hands are fondling more than frozen fish at work, and her lesbian daughter has published a tell-all ...

While marooned at his banking job in the bewilderingly damp and insular realm known as Ireland, Claude Martingale, is approached by a down-on-his-luck author, Paul, looking for his next great subject. Claude finds that his life gets steadily more exciting under Paul's fictionalizing influence; he even falls in love with a beautiful waitress. But Paul's plan is not what it seems-and neither is Claude's employer, the Bank of Torabundo, which inflates through dodgy takeovers and derivatives-trading until-well, you can probably guess how that shakes out.

As a teen Maddy Harvey was a bit of an ugly duckling. Luckily she's blossomed since then, and Maddy thanks God for this small miracle when a tall, handsome stranger comes to her rescue one starry summer's night. But instant attraction turns to a disaster in the making when Maddy learns the identity of her superman: Kerr McKinnon. Of all the colorful residents of the small Cotswold town of Ashcombe, why did it have to be him? Because, as family feuds go, the Montagues and the Capulets have nothing on the Harveys and the McKinnons.

At the Orchestra School of Music in Waterford, with the help of Tommy, Tina is getting her students ready for an Easter concert that is to take place in a local castle. Tommy, having suggested an Easter egg hunt for afterwards, wants to help Tina with the hiding. But she's having none of it and hides them herself. However, the following morning, when she returns to the castle, the eggs have disappeared. With Tommy again by her side, the pair follow a trail of tin foil which leads them to the culprit, Hugo, a chocolate eating, music loving bunny. Hugo's Easter Concert is another delightful ...

It was my father’s arrest that brought me here, although you could certainly say that I took the scenic route. Here is rehab, where Ben - the only son of a rich South Dublin banker - is piecing together the shattered remains of his life. Abruptly cut off, at the age of 27, from a life of heedless privilege, Ben flounders through a world of drugs and dead-end jobs, his self-esteem at rock bottom. Even his once-adoring girlfriend, Clio, is at the end of her tether. Then Ben runs into an old school friend who wants to cut him in on a scam.

Old friends meet up on a summer's evening at a Dublin restaurant. Both are now married with grown-up children, and their lives have taken seemingly similar paths. But Joe has a secret he has to tell Davy, and Davy, a grief he wants to keep from Joe. Both are not the men they used to be. Neither Davy nor Joe know what the night has in store, but as two pints turns to three, then five, and the men set out to revisit the haunts of their youth, the ghosts of Dublin entwine around them.

"Three Men on the Bummel" (1900) is a comical travelogue by Jerome K. Jerome. The three companions are on a bicycle tour through the German Black Forest. What does Bummel mean? D. C. Browning writes: "The title must be puzzling to many readers, for 'bummel' will not be found in English dictionaries." You can learn its meaning at the last chapter of the book, which is a series of humorous vignettes, each of which builds slowly, through accumulation of layer on layer of detail, through several pages.

It's danger on the high seas for the Barnetts, but will it come from the authorities, Mother Nature or family Flood? In Wisconsin six years ago, Ursula Barnett accidentally committed a shocking crime. The statute of limitations is inching closer, and the police are circling in. Panicked, Ursula books herself and her American family passage on a budget centennial Titanic cruise, hoping to ride out the investigation and embark a woman redeemed. But lurking amongst the leaky walls of the Queen of Crabs is a danger worse than disgruntled, poorly-paid staff, bad food and terrifying onshore ...

Tom Jones is a splendid Hogarthian panorama of 18th-century English life and morals, encompassing both city and country, and comprising some of the greatest comic characters in British literature. First published in 1749, it was an instant success and has gone on to become a classic of its genre. Quite simply, there has never been anything like it.

Lisa’s dated a series of disastrous men; Simon’s loved and lost the girl of his dreams. She’s hoping fate might intervene in her love life; he’d prefer that it stopped meddling with his. Today, they’re meeting, courtesy of the local paper’s ‘Blind Date’ feature - but while Lisa’s looking for that elusive ‘spark’, Simon’s sure lightning doesn’t strike twice. Will theirs be a love that’s written in the stars, or merely another mismatch written up in the Gazette?

Can an earl train the woman of his dreams to become the perfect bride…for another man? When Kit Ramsey, the new earl of Kilgannon, arrives in Ireland to lay claim to his inheritance, the villagers believe the young nobleman is the miracle they’ve been praying for. But Kit isn’t interested in being anybody’s hero. All he wants is the chance to become his own man. But titles come with duty, and Kit quickly learns he hasn’t just inherited an earldom and a castle, but the guardianship of Mariah Shaughnessy, the spirited and beautiful baker of Inismorn…the beautiful baker he must ...

Listed in the BBC's "100 Novels That Shaped Our World", Psmith, Journalist takes Wodehouse's immaculate hero to the apparently dull city of New York, where he takes command of twee family periodical Cosy Moments, converts it to the yellowest of yellow journals, and embarks upon a crusade to unmask the owner of the notorious Pleasant Street tenements. But soon the staff of Cosy Moments find themselves dodging ambushes and assassination attempts, as the mysterious tenement owner tries to put them out of business - permanently; and war breaks out among New York's notorious street gangs.