Kids Humor

Get the Poop: The Diary of a Dung Beetle Dookie is a friendly but hungry young dung beetle whose life revolves around poop. He eats poop, drinks poop, and even bathes in poop. At the end of the day, Dookie loves nothing more than to wash his hair with seagull poo in a nice warm bubble dung bath. Dookie and his best friend Turdy aren't fussy when it comes to eating poop. They'll devour unhealthy fast-poop from McDumps or fresh seapoo from Poopie Joe's Seapoo Shack. These poop-eating beetles will get poop however it's served! Dookie's mom needs an elephant pooball to lay her eggs, so she asks...

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

Get ready for a hilarious, fart-filled adventure with Ford Foghorn in *The Fart Activated Monster: The Hunt For Blue Blob. This action-packed series will leave young readers laughing out loud and begging for more. Ford Foghorn is still getting used to his new life as a Fart Activated Monster. During a camping trip with the Boy Scouts on Mount Methane, he accidentally eats a bowl of chili beans, sending his fart gas into overdrive. When Ford transforms into his blue monster form, his friends mistake him for the legendary Blue Blob Monster. As the Scouts turn into a lynch mob, Ford must find ...

Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.

The Bailey School soccer team hasn't had a lot of success, but their new coach seems like the woman to help whip them into shape. Coach Graves is a little rough around the edges, but she's good at what she does. That is until a strange old lady turns up at one of their practices. After that, Coach Graves has a vacant look in her eyes, mumbles and groans in response to the kids, and moves like she's back from the dead.

Fun and Silly Jokes for Kids and Family! is a fun joke audiobook that contains 500 jokes that will tickle your funny bone! It’s perfect for families, parties, or even youth-group events!

News alert! It has just been discovered that there are NO MORE TACOS left anywhere in the world. This is a huge problem because, as you know, dragons love tacos. If only there was a way for the dragons to travel back in time, to before tacos went extinct. Then they could grab lots of tacos and bring them back! It’s the perfect plan, as long as there’s no spicy salsa. You remember what happened last time....

Twelve year old Jake's middle school is about to be shut down—unless Jake and his friends can figure out how to save it. When Jake spies a bowl of jellybeans at the hotel where his mom works, he eats them. But those weren't just jellybeans. One of the scientists at his mom's conference is developing the world's first ingestible information pills. And that's what Jake ate.

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Big Nate is going for broke! Mighty Jefferson Middle School always wins. Then Nate decides it's time to go from zeroes to heroes! Will Nate crack under the pressure of the "Ultimate Snowdown"? Or lead P.S. 38 to its biggest victory ever?

Every parent has stories about their kids’ antics. The kind of stories that result in fall-on-the-floor laughter. The vignettes in this book will appeal to anyone who has had, or is planning to have, children. It’s a compilation of the best of the authors’ child-rearing experiences from topics like toilet training and selective deafness to traveling with our cherubs. But Honey, He Has Purple Hair is written in Erma Bombeck’s tongue-in-cheek style with sometimes differing perspectives from the authors. Sure, raising kids is a challenge. But what’s to stop you from doing it with ...

Poor Dick and Sally. It's cold and wet and they're stuck in the house with nothing to do...until a giant cat in a hat shows up, transforming the dull day into a madcap adventure and almost wrecking the place in the process!

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

Told from June's point of view - and set between the shattering events of The Midnight Blade and The Skeleton Road - June's Wild Flight brings new characters, high-stakes action, and stunning revelations in an adventure that could only be June's. An essential Last Kids story that readers won't want to miss!

Daystar never thought he'd be walking through the Enchanted Forest with a magic sword, a fire-witch, and a baby dragon. He never dreamed his mother, Cimorene, would tell him to leave their home and not to return until his task was complete. Or that he alone held the power to release King Mendanbar and the Enchanted Forest from the wizards' evil spell. He doesn't even know who King Mendanbar is. But Daystar learns quickly, and that's good, because he's about to encounter magic and wizards and dragons - quite a deadly combination.

When Mercy Watson the pig goes missing, all of Deckawoo Drive is in an uproar. The Watsons are inconsolable, and the local police, fire, and animal control departments are no help whatsoever. Bossy neighbor Eugenia Lincoln is not quite as sad as she might be, but thankfully her sister, Baby Lincoln, has the idea to hire a private investigator. Granted, Percival Smidgely, PI, may be more bumbler than gumshoe, but his pigeon, Polly, is there to point the way.

Join Nate the Great and his trusty companion, Sludge, in solving the greatest mysteries a boy could search for. In this collection, Nate hunts down a lost grocery list, a favorite stamp, a genius pet, a beach bag, a yucky valentine, second base, and an evil, book-destroying monster.

The last kids may have escaped the forbidden fortress by the skin of their teeth, but there isn't much to celebrate. Thrull has what he needs to complete the Tower, Rezzoch will most certainly come to Earth, and the world as they know it will cease to exist. Except Jack's Cosmic Hand is now even more powerful than he realized, and it might just be able to stop the inevitable from happening. To get the answers he seeks, he'll need to travel farther than he's ever been. He must go...to the monster dimension!

When we last left our hero, Max Crumbly, he had crash-landed on top of a Mighty Meat Monster pizza after taking a late night tumble through the vents at South Ridge Middle School - and he was completely surrounded by three ruthless criminals! Will Max be shredded to bits like mozzarella cheese on the hard and crunchy pizza crust of doom?

It's the first winter after the Monster Apocalypse. For Jack and his buddies, that means sled catapults, epic snowball battles, and one monstrous Christmas celebration. But their winter wonderland turns dark when a villainess begins hunting them. And this villainess is different - she’s a human. When the villainess steals Jack's prized monster-slaying tool, the Louisville Slicer, he vows to get it back. But it won’t be easy. Jack and his friends soon discover that the Louisville Slicer is the key to a dark plan that threatens the entire world - and beyond.