Poetry Humor

Punk. Poet. Pioneer. The Bard of Salford’s hugely anticipated new collection of poetry is his first in over 30 years. These are poems as scabrous, wry and vivid as only John Cooper Clarke could deliver. Inimitable and iconic, this collection will be a complete joy for lifelong fans and a whole new generation.

José era un granjero feliz y Pedro era su vecino, Sembraban pepinos y tomates en la montaña de encino. Ambos granjeros trabajaban muy duro; difícil era su vida, Pero tenían comida para sus familias; recompensa merecida Aunque a veces en casa después de un día de trabajo cansado Soñaban con tener una vida mejor de lo que habían pensado.

🐯🍬 Introducing "Tigers and Treats: A Neon Fantasy for Bedtime Delights" 🍬🐯 Prepare to embark on a delightful journey through a whimsical neon wonderland filled with lovable tigers and scrumptious treats! "Tigers and Treats" is a heartwarming and visually stunning children's book designed to captivate the imagination of little ones aged 2-5, making it the perfect companion for bedtime or relaxation time. Immerse your child in a world of vibrant colors and charming illustrations, where every turn of the page reveals adorable tigers indulging in the most delectable desserts ...

The Gruffalo said that no gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood. But one wild and windy night the Gruffalo's child disobeys her father's warnings and ventures out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn't really exist...does he? Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

You won't believe why this old lady swallows a shell, a crab, a fish, a gull, a pail, some sand, and a wave! But watch out when she burps, with hilarious results!

With rollicking, rhyming text, this lively version of a classic song will appeal to young readers. And there's a surprise ending!

Spontaneous bebop (sans Rocksteady) banter, of the non-combustible kind, collected via e-mail & text communications & assembled like a tossed salad prosaic, then wrapped in a warm blanket of jocular exchange, with a smattering of inanity, a dash or two of incoherence, & maybe just a hint of maniacal genius, chronicling the inner workings of the twin brainship (TB-8).

We all hate poetry, right? But we might hate it a little less if it were hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even. If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below: AWAREWOLF I came upon a golem “encountered” one might say eating dust as golems must all bloody, muddy day. WHO ...

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

George wished he wasn't the scruffiest giant in town. So when he sees a new shop selling giant-size clothes, he decides it's time for a new look: smart trousers, smart shirt, stripy tie, shiny shoes. Now he's the smartest giant in town...until he bumps into some animals who desperately need his help - and his clothes! Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

Tío Manuel decía que los domingos debían disfrutarse: ¡El desayuno con su periódico, incluso antes de bañarse! Un especial y gran desayuno con una taza de té caliente, En un sillón muy cómodo leyendo su periódico de frente. Pero algo había salido mal: no sabía por qué había sido, Tres meses sin periódico, pensó que ya era algo aburrido.

This is a collection of seven children's poems of varying lengths. It comprises about 4,201 words. There are two poems about dragons; one about a fun imaginary friend; one about strange and unique creatures on a small island; one about dealing with fear of the dark; one about dealing with anger issues; one about dealing with small injuries; and a fun little limerick for adults my age. I hope you and your family enjoy them.

OMG! Now it’s my turn… I’d heard about it, but I never believed it could be true… sorority house triple dare! Even before I took the blindfold off, I knew something was up. I can’t believe who my sorority sisters want me to mud wrestle… but I admit I’m thrilled that I have to taken on the football team all-stars… five big rough young hunks at once! Just my luck I’d drawn the scarlet card… or was it? These young sorority ladies are at it again… and this time their target is freshman coed Lexi Leighton! Lexi is the newest competitor chosen by a draw in her sorority house...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are! Sing along with Pete the Cat on his groovy adaptation of the classic children's bedtime song "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".

Hace mucho, mucho tiempo, en un lugar muy muy lejano Un gran barco pirata salió a navegar un día temprano, Llevaba sacos de plata y oro que valían mucho dinero, Y tres piratas malvados, fuertes y de carácter aventurero.

Billy is a small boy with a big imagination. Mr. Booth is a serious teacher with a strict lesson plan. When the irresistible force of Billy's unrestrained creativity meets the immovable object of Mr. Booth's fixed worldview, one thing is obvious: someone is going to learn a lot this school year! The irrepressible Billy, star of the New York Times bestselling When I Grow Up, returns in an uproarious back-to-school tale from the uniquely inspired "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Words of a Feather is a stunning collection of Short Stories, Poems and Sketches from author, Robert E. Kearns. There's something inside for every taste, and Words of a Feather comes packed with hours of reading pleasure. Replete with entertainment, there is sure to be laughs, tears, spills and thrills. Satisfying pleasures of the mind, Words of a Feather is a book you'll want to read again and again.

Hefty Hugh and Lanky Len are two crafty robbers with a cunning plan to steal the farmer’s fine prize cow. But little do they know that the tiniest, quietest creature of all has overhead their plot, and she has a plan of her own.... What the Ladybird Heard is a fantastically funny story from the stellar partnership of Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks. With brilliant rhyming verse read by Alexander Armstrong, this much-loved modern classic is perfect story for listening to together. This audio edition of the story features a read-along track and a song for lots of farmyard fun.

This volume brings together the poems from my books with 18 new works. 4 poetic voices are used: Big Zee, a right-on Rasta from Salford; Missy Pammy, a fearless feminist from the West Country; Meaty, the UK’s number 1 butcher-poet, and the cerebral, sceptical Morose. The collection includes an Icelandic version of “Jerusalem”, a new Brexit anthem “Brexodus”, a Muslim lady’s lament in the style of Amy Winehouse, updates of W.H. Auden and Philip Larkin, some Hong Kong City Blues and a Gothic/manic homage to Sylvia Plath. The poems attempt to open minds through the power of words. ...

📘 Line Drives & Life Lessons A Serious, Sarcastic & Sage: A Collection of Fast-Pitch Softball Poetry Welcome to the dugout—the real one. The one with sunflower seeds, scuffed cleats, and a coach who tells it like it is. Line Drives & Life Lessons is a bold, funny, and fiercely honest collection of poems for fast-pitch softball players who hustle hard, cheer louder, and know that greatness lives somewhere between the chalk lines and the dirt stains. Narrated by the unforgettable Coach Shelly—a sarcastic, 60-year-old softball lifer with a heart of gold and zero patience for joggers—...

As the itsy bitsy spider struggles, Pete and his friends know just what to do to help out!