Space Humor

Death is burning with deadly heat and fumes towards them. They stand on the edge of a tall skyscraper's roof, a raging fire roaring towards them. There is no escape. They take each other’s hands and kiss for the last time before they choose to leap to their deaths together. Twist! They are rescued. An older dog, blind in one eye, limps across a lonely street, thinking it is safe. Suddenly a roaring engine is heard; a drunken driver crashes around a corner and weaves out of control for the helpless dog. Twist! The dog is saved. Neither the dog nor the young couple knows what just happened....

The Zang, an elder race of the galaxy, may be a shrinking population, but they're also intelligent, curious, and powerful. What's more, they practice a most unusual art form: they bonsai star systems. Eager to witness this first hand, Lieutenant Lord Thomas Kinago, accompanied as always by his personal assistant Parsons, sets out on a several-week jaunt to see the Zang destroy a moon to enhance the beauty of a star system.

When Darren’s charge-cart gets knocked off the Earth-to-Mars highway and lost in space forever, he thinks his day can’t get any worse. When Kelly sees Darren accidentally short-circuit a talking lamppost, and its camera captures her face as it expires, she thinks her day can’t get any worse. When Pamasonic Teffal, a sentient breadmaker, is sent on a top-secret mission into the depths of the Internet and betrayed by her boss, a power-crazed smartphone, she knows this is only the beginning of a day that isn’t going to get any better. Join Darren, Kelly, and Pam in an anarchic comic adventure.

Quentin Tipper enlisted because he didn’t want to stay a two-bit hustler like his father. Alvin Phish enlisted to impress his fiance’s father, the Admiral. Together, two nobodies become members of the Intergalactic Space Force and become...still nobodies. But when the ISF is attacked by the mysterious Femen, these two nobodies must answer the call to action.

What's so special about Ted? Nobody knows...and certainly not Ted! This certainly isn't what Ted pictured as far as alien abductions! Well, he's not really in a position to complain, because his new home is a space ship crewed by over six thousand gorgeous females with bodies drawn from his own memories and desires... Ted isn't going anywhere anytime soon. With his trusted allies, the gorgeous blonde Gwen and the Earth-obsessed hottie, Hayden, Ted tries to unravel the breeding program he's been embroiled in, fight the mysterious and totally desirable Council, and maybe even find a decent ...

Felix used to be a traveling salesman, drifting through the galaxy and hawking his wares. Used to be, that is, until a freak accident in an out-of-the-way system. One rough landing later, Felix finds himself stranded on a wild, alien planet - front and center - in a deadly role he never auditioned for to entertain a secret audience. The upside? A fellow passenger made it to the escape pod with Felix. With this reptilian stranger at his side, he’s not totally alone. The downside? They don’t share a language.

Warning: For Mature Adult Audiences. Contains language and actions some may deem offensive. M/F Commander TylOR of the Kiljorn nation has a mission, to guard the wormhole from their enemies. He shares this mission with the half brother that he only recently met. The two brothers don’t get along. To make matters worse, the one female that has plagued him since he first met her is going to be traveling with him. His brother tortures him with constantly flirting with the female. TylOR fights his inner battle to claim the female. If he doesn’t soon encounter an enemy he can kill, he might ...

After an ambush leaves the Novantae resistance in tatters, the survivors scatter across the galaxy. Wanted by two great empires, the bounty on any rebel's head is enough to make a captor filthy rich. And the Seven Devils? Biggest score of them all. The Devils take refuge on Fortuna where Ariadne gets a message with unimaginable consequences: the Oracle has gone rogue. The AI has developed a way of mass programming citizens into mindless drones. The Oracle's demand is simple: it wants its daughter Ariadne back at any cost.

Young Kit Kellan has led a rough-and-tumble life - knocking around the Vega System in his youth as a tiger hunter, a brawler, and a bouncer in a bar. But his real fight is just beginning. Summarily expelled from the prestigious Terra University, he is taken into custody by an agent of the System Bureau of Investigation (SBI). Kit's crime: thinking too much and thinking too well. He’s not in custody for long, however. Snatched from captivity by the People’s Revolutionary Society, Kit sets out an epic adventure that will take him to the farthest reaches of the universe.

Nearly a thousand years removed from Earth, the remnants of humanity cling to existence inside giant, space faring creatures known as the Zenzee. Abused and exploited by humans for generations, these majestic animals nearly went extinct, but under the command of its newly minted ruler, Doka Kaleigh, life in the Parados I has flourished. Thanks to careful oversight and sacrifice by all of its crew, they are now on the brink of utopia, and yet Doka's rivals feel threatened by that success.

Once, John Irish was a legend in the porn industry, partying with the likes of John Holmes, Peter North, Nina Hartley, and Seka, but now he's on the far side of 50, and Ron Jeremy won't even return his phone calls. Desperate for any kind of paying work, he's sunk to the level of bit roles in grade-Z porn and is even considering applying to work at Wal-Mart, when hot-blooded starlet Mindy Copperhead comes into his life. He quickly discovers she's far more than a simple blowjob artist, but is in fact an advance scout for a distant alien race, sent to Earth to find...him.

Homecoming–Book two in the ALIEN ROADKILL series. On the run, JB Tucker has learned that the alien tech inside his bloodstream has placed him squarely in the middle of an intergalactic conflict between two powerful and conflicting off-world factions. While he’s been approached by one of them to disrupt the other’s intentions on Earth, JB still has no idea what’s at stake other than his own survival. But, the more he discovers about the sub-molecular, autonomous robots inside him, the more dangerous he has become to the aliens who relentlessly seek his destruction. After another ...

Hal and Clunk have been hired to transport artworks for a travelling exhibition. These pieces are valuable and fragile, which is strike one. The artist is highly-strung individual who takes an instant dislike to Hal, which is strike two. And Hal is determined to make a quick buck on the side, which is never going to end well. Strike three! The only question is... which will last longer, Hal or the artworks?

The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance.

Enid is many things: lesbian, serial dater, deaf in one ear, space obsessive, true crime fanatic. When she's not listening to grizzly murder podcasts, she's managing her crippling phobia of bald people and trying hard not to think about her mortifying teenage years—which is hard, when she's lost the password to her old YouTube account and the (many) vlogs that her teen self once uploaded. She's worried about herself, her depressive mother, and what the deal is with gender reveal parties.

Warning: For Mature Adult Audiences. Contains language and actions some may deem offensive. M/F Lindsey Carreli doesn’t think twice when she accepts the position offered to her as the Katieran Legal Advisor for Earth Relations. It is a high profile position. It is, also, a new start for her and her family. She likes the aliens and is surprised by her easy attraction to the Leader of Katiera. But it is the Leader of the Kiljorn Nation that she finds herself falling hopelessly in love with. The problem is the Kiljorn Leader is a planning to spend his life with another woman. Kiljorn Prime ...

As I grapple with the weight of responsibility as the captain of a formidable dreadnought, I'm thrust headlong into a relentless battle for the survival of the last vestiges of civilization. The number of beautiful women I care for has grown, as has the number of my children, and their safety has become my unwavering priority. To protect them and ensure a brighter future, I must confront ruthless alien mutants and savage space pirates, odds that seem insurmountable.

Humans - there's no understanding them, and no dealing with them either. Or even their planet. Pity the poor aliens, whose shape-changing ability should let them take over the planet Earth before the humans even know they're there - if it weren't for all that omnipresent pollution. Or consider another set of invaders, from a planet where the weather is always mild and the changing of the seasons is hardly noticeable. They land in force; their weapons more powerful than those of the primitive humans, but they've never had to deal with below-zero temperatures, flash floods, or tornadoes.

This bundle encompasses really interesting facts about space and the planets in the galaxy that will not only blow your mind but also provide some great knowledge. The books were designed to be straightforward and easy to consume, with some context around each fact and explanations that make some hard to believe facts understandable and most of all fun!

Darya uses every stratagem available to plunder technology from military grade starships, uniting not only other criminal organizations, but bringing together several Independent worlds who are hungry for the forbidden advanced technology. Utilizing a sophisticated counter-intelligence network of spies through outpost ninety-four, she successfully keeps the authorities blind to the location of her organization. Tired of having their shipping lanes and parts hubs raided, the League of Free Worlds heavily conspires with the Fabrini Hive Empire to locate, identify and destroy the growing ...