Space Humor

Contains books one and two of the Metal Fury series: I Am Mech and Mech Planet.

Adam Cain had had worse days, but at the moment, he couldn't remember when. And when the native judge slammed an oblong stone on the podium before him, signaling an end to the fifteen-minute trial and sentencing, Adam felt a tingle run down his spine. It was going to take all his skill, experience—and luck—to get out of this one. And his latest challenge was just beginning. But Adam wasn't about to let the situation get the best of him. He had skills, skills which will be tested when he finds he's been placed in more of a zoo than a prison.

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

As Dirk and Nora's adventure to the stars continues, Nora inadvertently introduces feminism to a planet with the gender politics (and fashions) of a 1950's B-movie while Dirk struggles to fend off an old flame. With all this going on, will they still be able to hale the advance of the Second Saturnian Empire? Or will they fail, ending this series at book two? Find out inside! (Or, you know, find out when the third book comes out and kind of spoils the suspense by its mere existence. You can probably find out that way, too. But what's the fun in that?)

Tina Lyons, a beauty contestant, is cheated out of first place and forced into rehab, run by a bunch of undercover lizard-aliens hellbent on colonizing the world. Believing them to be patients just like her, Tina decides to help these incompetent conquerors the only way she knows how - with a beauty pageant! As Tina’s anti-beauty pageant becomes a roaring success, and humanity is seduced by the irresistibly sexy lizard invaders, Tina must question what it is to be human.

Young Kit Kellan has led a rough-and-tumble life - knocking around the Vega System in his youth as a tiger hunter, a brawler, and a bouncer in a bar. But his real fight is just beginning. Summarily expelled from the prestigious Terra University, he is taken into custody by an agent of the System Bureau of Investigation (SBI). Kit's crime: thinking too much and thinking too well. He’s not in custody for long, however. Snatched from captivity by the People’s Revolutionary Society, Kit sets out an epic adventure that will take him to the farthest reaches of the universe.

For Jason, entering the seventh grade is like walking into a dangerous new world. Now that he’s in junior high school, he’s a small fish in a big pond stocked full of ninth-graders. It’s so scary that he won’t even go to the bathroom if there’s a ninth-grader in there - no matter how badly he has to go! But it isn’t all bad. He’s working on a model space station in shop class, and he’s beginning to notice things he never paid attention to before, like body hair - and girls. Especially one girl: The beautiful, hair-flicking cheerleader Debbie Breen.

Meet Sun: He's a star! And not just any star - he's one in a billion. He lights up our solar system and makes life possible. With characteristic humor and charm, Stacy McAnulty channels the voice of Sun in this next celestial "autobiography". Rich with kid-friendly facts, Sun! One in a Billion is an equally charming and irresistible companion to Earth! My First 4.54 Billion Years.

This wasn't like Adam Cain—AKA: The Human for Hire. He wasn't supposed to be compassionate and caring. But for some reason, he'd taken the former Third-Generation Human John Martinez under his wing and was now determined to show him what the real Human race was all about. As a 3G, Martinez had been raised by the Klin to believe a completely false narrative about his native race. But having never been to Earth—and after only a few tragic encounters with other Humans—what was Martinez to believe?

That is Fanner Marston’s mantra—his reason for being—and while he knows a little about the first and a lot about the second, he may well be on the verge of learning everything there is to know about the third. Power. He may, in fact, be about to uncover the key to gaining absolute control over the entire universe. The only problem is, Fanner is certifiably insane.... His starship has crash-landed, and he’s the sole survivor, which doesn’t matter to him.

Decades ago, Masha hid under a table and watched her parents die. Now, with war in the streets and chaos in the government, she can at last put the ultimate piece of her revenge into action. But it will involve murder, deception, and cunning on an unprecedented scale, and she's no longer as certain as she once was that she can pull this off. In the meantime, behind the barricades, the rest of the crew is trying desperately to survive as the Svodrani System government brings its full weight to bear. And surviving a war against the entire System might be a step too far, even for them.…

Caught in the ultimate tourist trap, exiled in a bizarre galaxy, Captain Leo MacGavin is desperate to find the mythical alien technology that will send his crew home. But when his crush on the ship’s hologram causes him to follow a shady lead, the Americano Grande is trapped by a pair of all-powerful space gods. Duty-bound to protect their planet, these sexy centurions refuse to allow passage until the crew proves they are a harmless pleasure vessel. Fortunately, all they have to do is show their passengers a good time.

Frank Einstein (kid-genius, scientist, and inventor) and his best friend, Watson, along with Klink (a self-assembled artificial-intelligence entity) and Klank (a mostly self-assembled and artificial almost-intelligence entity), once again find themselves in competition with T. Edison, their classmate and arch-rival, this time studying the science and mysteries of the universe!

Captain Duncan Arugula is being hunted by a sniffing, snarling, snurgling, pointy-toothed monstrosity. He’s locked in the cockpit of his own spaceship, his crew has gone radio silent since the mutiny, and now the monster — whatever it is, let’s just call it a Problem — is closing in. Lemon Tarts in Space! careens through the desperate final days of the space race and crashes into an apocalyptic future, following Captain Arugula on an absurdist cat-and-mouse chase from the deepest tunnels of the moon up to a blistering dogfight across the stars.

Thirteen months into his seven-day cruise, all Captain Leo MacGavin wants for his birthday is to finally go home. When his crew gives him a fully functional starship transporter, his wish comes true...sort of. As soon as the WTF Americano Grande returns to its home galaxy, things start to go awry. Leo’s relationship status becomes “more than complicated” as he’s torn between his holographic sweetheart, the woman she was based on, and an old crush who sashays back into his life.

In the beginning ... was Chaos and nothing more. The exiles came. Cast out from Earth by Merlin the Wizard. The wizards, black magicians, sorcerors, warlocks, necromancers, witches, dark elves, rogue warriors...and the beasts - dragons, wyverns, gryphons, chimeras, and unicorns. The scum of the universe, except for us wizards, of course. We were the most powerful, the strongest, the best. And the greatest of these were selected to rule Chaos. Eight mighty Masters of Chaos and one, I Merlor, to rule all as Lord. My ambition on Earth had been to reign supreme, holding the entire planet under ...

Our heroes thought they had saved reality, but now, they’ve learned they don't even know what reality is! Things from reality are fighting back against them, and in order to save their reality, they must first work out what reality is, find the real reality, and stop it, or something—I don't even know! Come on one last insanity-filled trip, and let's just hope nobody dies for very long.

Join Captain Commander, the intrepid (and slightly clueless) space explorer, as he faces his greatest challenge yet: an invasion of enormous, eight-legged extraterrestrial spiders! From the darkest corners of the universe, these creepy crawlies are hell-bent on conquering the galaxy and spinning their intricate webs of terror.

She's a spoiled shopaholic with daddy issues. He's a socially conscious vegetarian who doesn't hide his disdain for people who come from the trappings of wealth. Of course none of that would have mattered if Chloe could have just left her summer fling with Chase behind her, without a glance back - something that will prove impossible when the consequences of that fling rear their head. Particularly one consequence; one with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the potential to turn Chloe's privileged life upside down.

Matteo, an aerospace engineer, returns home after working on a recovered spacecraft, expecting a sense of accomplishment. However, an unsettling feeling gnaws at him, and he can't shake the sense that something is amiss. Despite a reassuring doctor's report declaring his health normal, Matteo's unease persists. As he succumbs to exhaustion and drifts into sleep, Matteo awakens to a reality beyond comprehension. No longer in his own body, he finds himself inhabiting the unfamiliar form of another being. Bewildered and disoriented, he discovers the shocking truth: his body has been hijacked ...