Space Humor

That which is not dead will not rest nor lie. And with the strange passing of aeons, the petty affairs of men are of little consequence to the Old Ones, providing they have their fair share of sacrificial souls on which to feed. Blaise is a lowly policeman, tasked with patrolling a huge rural beat where everything appears, on the surface at least, idyllic. That’s until he’s seen the carcasses of the dogs, found in the woods, mutilated and drained of blood. And now humans are disappearing too and there’s talk of witchcraft, a folklore, long-thought dead with the execution of the last ...

When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stepped onto the lunar surface in July of 1969, they wore spacesuits made by Playtex: 21 layers of fabric, each with a distinct yet interrelated function, custom-sewn for them by seamstresses whose usual work was fashioning bras and girdles. This book is the story of that spacesuit. It is a story of the triumph over the military-industrial complex by the International Latex Corporation, best known by its consumer brand of "Playtex" - a victory of elegant softness over engineered hardness, of adaptation over cybernetics.

Bill Stiltson arrives back at his bar after his last adventure, ready to make beer and live a normal life on the moon in the year 2538. Alas, he returns to find his lawn furniture on fire, the work of Jethro Duff, leader of the Moon Nationalist movement called the Lunatics. Bill soon learns that Jethro was following an online conspiracy theory accusing Bill of ruining the moon's economy, destroying lunar culture, and even eating people. Bill sends his intern Jimmy to investigate this conspiracy theory and bring back evidence for a lawsuit, but when Jimmy becomes apprentice to the ringleader...

It's the 25th century, and the American President has taken over the world. Meanwhile, after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for more than 400 years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future, he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great-great-great-great-grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

Welcome to the Grand Abeona Hotel: home of the finest food, the sweetest service, and the very best views the galaxy has to offer. Year round it moves from planet to planet, system to system, pampering guests across the furthest reaches of the milky way. The last word in sub-orbital luxury - and a magnet for intrigue. Intrigues such as: Why are there love poems in the lobby intray? How many Imperial spies are currently on board? What is the true purpose of the Problem Solver's conference? And perhaps most pertinently - who is driving the ship?

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

There are two ways to be a hero. One is more violent than the other. And the universe needs a hero, because a mysterious entity known as the Fathom is terrorizing the known universe and seizing control. But they’ve made one mistake: They woke Rico, the universe's greatest killer, from a coma. And he’s decided he might be the good guy this time. But being a hero isn’t easy. Rico has to work with others (not his favorite), and the impossible odds means it’s going to take an insane scheme or two (more to his liking).

Being stuck in a traffic jam is already horrible enough. What's even worse is when you have three screaming kids in the backseat. Do you recognize this age-old question coming from the back row of your car: Are we there yet? Ah, this one never gets old. Usually spoken just after you put the key in the ignition. Your children hate to sit still in the car. Boredom takes over before you even leave the driveway.

Jake tries hard, but spying is a tough job. When a botched pickup and a drunken indiscretion drop him in jail, he's sent to serve his sentence in the Milita. His new commander wants Jake's next tour to be out an airlock without a suit. At least his fellow conscript is friendly, and has a sexy single sister! But an accidental shooting and a boarding by his old friend Nadine complicate his life. Now the girls don't trust him, Mr. Dashi won't answer his calls, and there are armed ships chasing him through the rings. Is he in trouble? Or was this Dashi's plan all along?

The day starts like any other, venturing into spider-bear territory to rescue Bennie’s sister. Turns out there’s a lot of space that the Peacekeepers don’t go near - go figure, spider-bear territory is on that list. And that’s just the start of their adventure. Their old friend Xarrix calls with a job. A job that sounds straightforward and easy. With nothing else on their plates, the crew of the Ghost find themselves in a sector of space deemed “untameable” by the Galactic Commonwealth, working with a warlord with some pretty big plans.

Disclaimer: No Space Aliens were harmed in the making of this delightful Cowchip Alabama Series tale. Any resemblance to space aliens living or dead is purely coincidental... The Cowchip Cafe in Cowchip Alabama was all about good food until the day the insane space alien came for a hamburger with extra hash browns. Cowchip/AL is an older southern city with a very strange heritage, as we learn in this humorous story. Lately influenced a great deal by the secret and sinister RYO Corporation, it never-the-less has quite a screwy history all its own. You'll meet several of the local residents, ...

There is a darker side to the Intergalactic Marriage Council that no one was aware of, and this changes everything. Natalie wants a simple life and chooses to marry a man from Zeylan through the Intergalactic Marriage Council. When she arrives on the planet, nothing is as she expects, and she must mentally adjust. Can the intense pleasure she finds with her match overcome the reality of her situation? Each book in the Zeylan Bride series is stand alone and can be read in any order. If you like it, check out my Otan Bride series as well for more arranged marriage erotica set in the ...

For nearly a century, the Justified have been searching for gifted children to help prevent the return of the pulse. Until recently, they thought they were the only ones. Jane Kamali and her telekinetic protégé, Esa, now 17, barely managed to claim victory against a Cyn - a being of pure energy - hell bent on hunting down the gifted. Now, they face an army. The Cyn and their followers will stop at nothing to find Esa and the others. No one knows what they want, but Jane, Esa, and their allies in the Justified are determined to find out.

Triana Moore, maintenance bot technician on Station Kelly-Kornienko, prefers life in orbit where the air is purified, the commute is short, and nature doesn’t get all over you. But when a minor infraction gets her sent to remedial training dirtside, she doesn’t complain. Who wouldn’t enjoy a few days of sitting in the sunshine, eating gourmet burgers, and drinking too much Jager Hula?

Which of the following short stories would you read first? A.) A stubborn donkey challenges a Tennessee race horse. B.) A chess match ends in bloodshed. C.) Two sisters beg a funeral director to play their daddy's favorite Johnny Cash song. D.) A shooter takes aim from a church baptistry. E.) Two astronauts survive a horrific spinout only to return to earth and find everybody else walking around in super slow motion. Why not read them all? They're all in this far-flung collection of short stories and more. Scroll up and get them now with just one click.

Quentin Tipper enlisted because he didn’t want to stay a two-bit hustler like his father. Alvin Phish enlisted to impress his fiance’s father, the Admiral. Together, two nobodies become members of the Intergalactic Space Force and become...still nobodies. But when the ISF is attacked by the mysterious Femen, these two nobodies must answer the call to action.

Meet Mars! The red planet. Planet Marvelous. Favorite sibling of Earth (or so he claims). Sometimes they're close (just 34.5 million miles apart). Sometimes they need space (250 million miles apart)! Earth and Mars have a lot in common - clouds, mountains, polar icecaps. And while Earth has Earthlings, Mars makes a persuasive case for why people should make the journey to spend time with him. His day is seven minutes longer! He is home to the largest volcano in the whole solar system. He's, well, marvelous.

Meet Moon! She's more than just a rock - she’s Earth’s rock, her best friend she can always count on. Moon never turns her back on her friend (Literally: She's always facing Earth with the same side!). These two will stick together forever. With characteristic humor and charm, Stacy McAnulty channels the voice of Moon in this next celestial "autobiography" in the Our Universe series.

When Darren’s charge-cart gets knocked off the Earth-to-Mars highway and lost in space forever, he thinks his day can’t get any worse. When Kelly sees Darren accidentally short-circuit a talking lamppost, and its camera captures her face as it expires, she thinks her day can’t get any worse. When Pamasonic Teffal, a sentient breadmaker, is sent on a top-secret mission into the depths of the Internet and betrayed by her boss, a power-crazed smartphone, she knows this is only the beginning of a day that isn’t going to get any better. Join Darren, Kelly, and Pam in an anarchic comic adventure.

Allergic to group activities of any kind, all her life Serenata has run, swum and cycled on her lonesome. But now that she's hit 60, all that physical activity has destroyed her knees. As she contemplates surgery with dread, her previously sedentary husband, Remington, recently and ignominiously redundant, chooses this precise moment to discover exercise. Which should be good for his health, right? Yet as he joins the cult of fitness that seems increasingly to consume the whole of the Western world, her once-modest husband burgeons into an unbearable narcissist.