Space Humor

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

As Dirk and Nora's adventure to the stars continues, Nora inadvertently introduces feminism to a planet with the gender politics (and fashions) of a 1950's B-movie while Dirk struggles to fend off an old flame. With all this going on, will they still be able to hale the advance of the Second Saturnian Empire? Or will they fail, ending this series at book two? Find out inside! (Or, you know, find out when the third book comes out and kind of spoils the suspense by its mere existence. You can probably find out that way, too. But what's the fun in that?)

Space exploration gone different. Although HAM was the first US astronaut, at one point in history it seemed inevitable that the first deep-space pilots would be humans. Of course, we know that things didn't work out that way. This is the story as it actually unfolded, including the real story of Tolan Baboon's flight and his best dirty jokes. A humorous alternate history of the space program.

Young Kit Kellan has led a rough-and-tumble life - knocking around the Vega System in his youth as a tiger hunter, a brawler, and a bouncer in a bar. But his real fight is just beginning. Summarily expelled from the prestigious Terra University, he is taken into custody by an agent of the System Bureau of Investigation (SBI). Kit's crime: thinking too much and thinking too well. He’s not in custody for long, however. Snatched from captivity by the People’s Revolutionary Society, Kit sets out an epic adventure that will take him to the farthest reaches of the universe.

That is Fanner Marston’s mantra—his reason for being—and while he knows a little about the first and a lot about the second, he may well be on the verge of learning everything there is to know about the third. Power. He may, in fact, be about to uncover the key to gaining absolute control over the entire universe. The only problem is, Fanner is certifiably insane.... His starship has crash-landed, and he’s the sole survivor, which doesn’t matter to him.

For Jason, entering the seventh grade is like walking into a dangerous new world. Now that he’s in junior high school, he’s a small fish in a big pond stocked full of ninth-graders. It’s so scary that he won’t even go to the bathroom if there’s a ninth-grader in there - no matter how badly he has to go! But it isn’t all bad. He’s working on a model space station in shop class, and he’s beginning to notice things he never paid attention to before, like body hair - and girls. Especially one girl: The beautiful, hair-flicking cheerleader Debbie Breen.

The fate of the world lies with one man: Bip Plunkerton. Talentless scientist and frequent drinker at the Empty Goat, young Bip Plunkerton will follow in his father’s footsteps as a volunteer...footsteps that have yet to return from the wilds of the wide world outside.

6066: In Emperor Thracin's brave new galaxy, humans are not citizens but indentured labourers, working to repay the debt they unwittingly incurred when they settled on Gahraan - a desert planet already owned by the emperor himself. Asha Akindele knows she's just another voiceless cog working the assembly lines that fuel his vast imperial war machine. Her only rebellion: studying stolen aeronautics manuals in the dead of night. But then a cloaked stranger arrives to deliver an impossible message, and her life changes in an instant.

Warning: For Mature Adult Audiences. Contains language and actions some may deem offensive. M/F AshOR finally has command of his own ship, and he’s been given an important mission to head up. He has to locate a rogue Morin ship that managed to get through the wormhole, before it reaches Earth. He expects to face battle, and he’s used to fighting. What he doesn’t expect is the trail of horror and destruction left by the Morins. Stopping his people’s enemy is his top priority, and he doesn’t need the complication of a stunning beauty that won’t listen to anything he has to say. In...

The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armor. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks. However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for.

Elvie Nara was doing just fine in the year 2074. She had a great best friend, a dad she adored, and a bright future working on the Ares Project on Mars. But then she had to get involved with sweet, gorgeous, dumb-as-a-brick Cole - and now she's pregnant. Teen pregnancy is never easy - especially when extraterrestrials are involved....

After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce! To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure.

Caught in the ultimate tourist trap, exiled in a bizarre galaxy, Captain Leo MacGavin is desperate to find the mythical alien technology that will send his crew home. But when his crush on the ship’s hologram causes him to follow a shady lead, the Americano Grande is trapped by a pair of all-powerful space gods. Duty-bound to protect their planet, these sexy centurions refuse to allow passage until the crew proves they are a harmless pleasure vessel. Fortunately, all they have to do is show their passengers a good time.

Frank Einstein (kid-genius, scientist, and inventor) and his best friend, Watson, along with Klink (a self-assembled artificial-intelligence entity) and Klank (a mostly self-assembled and artificial almost-intelligence entity), once again find themselves in competition with T. Edison, their classmate and arch-rival, this time studying the science and mysteries of the universe!

Captain Duncan Arugula is being hunted by a sniffing, snarling, snurgling, pointy-toothed monstrosity. He’s locked in the cockpit of his own spaceship, his crew has gone radio silent since the mutiny, and now the monster — whatever it is, let’s just call it a Problem — is closing in. Lemon Tarts in Space! careens through the desperate final days of the space race and crashes into an apocalyptic future, following Captain Arugula on an absurdist cat-and-mouse chase from the deepest tunnels of the moon up to a blistering dogfight across the stars.

Thirteen months into his seven-day cruise, all Captain Leo MacGavin wants for his birthday is to finally go home. When his crew gives him a fully functional starship transporter, his wish comes true...sort of. As soon as the WTF Americano Grande returns to its home galaxy, things start to go awry. Leo’s relationship status becomes “more than complicated” as he’s torn between his holographic sweetheart, the woman she was based on, and an old crush who sashays back into his life.

In the beginning ... was Chaos and nothing more. The exiles came. Cast out from Earth by Merlin the Wizard. The wizards, black magicians, sorcerors, warlocks, necromancers, witches, dark elves, rogue warriors...and the beasts - dragons, wyverns, gryphons, chimeras, and unicorns. The scum of the universe, except for us wizards, of course. We were the most powerful, the strongest, the best. And the greatest of these were selected to rule Chaos. Eight mighty Masters of Chaos and one, I Merlor, to rule all as Lord. My ambition on Earth had been to reign supreme, holding the entire planet under ...

Our heroes thought they had saved reality, but now, they’ve learned they don't even know what reality is! Things from reality are fighting back against them, and in order to save their reality, they must first work out what reality is, find the real reality, and stop it, or something—I don't even know! Come on one last insanity-filled trip, and let's just hope nobody dies for very long.

Another alien abduction, this time one of the Intergalactic Marriage Council’s own members goes missing. Julie, a human from Earth, works on Zeylan and needs to find a Zeylan match since she can’t return to earth. The man she’s paired with is sexy, sweet, and fabulous in bed. Everything she would want in a husband. But what will Julie do when she finds out she’s just another abducted woman? Each book in the Zeylan Bride series is stand alone and can be read in any order. If you like it, check out my Otan Bride series as well for more arranged marriage erotica set in the same ...

WHEN A PART-HUMAN VAMPIRE GIRL MEETS A WELL-ENDOWED VENUSIAN WITH A TRIDENT IN HIS TROUSERS... How can she resist a close encounter of the amorous kind? Luckily, a Victorian named Wells and his time machine arrive just in... err... time to offer her an interesting alternative, and a chance to experience a long-term fantasy. FOR MATURE ADULTS OVER AGE 18. This is a 3,770-word work of erotic parody, and it includes very graphic descriptions of fantasy sex between a half-human vampire girl, a Jack Sparrow lookalike, a blue Venusian with hidden talents, plus a 19th-century advocate of Free Love...