True Humor

Eliza Most people are dying to come to Las Vegas I just killed to get out I have the magic touch People fly in from everywhere to feel my hands on them My plan is simple: Give the best massages. Get the hell out of town. Then some lowlife mob boss drops dead in a pool of my essential oils Now I’m on the run under the heat of neon lights My only hope? A deadly international mystery man Enzo puts the sin in Sin City He swears he’ll keep me safe I believe the gorgeous Sicilian when he promises to protect my heart But I might be ready to gamble my innocence on the heat he’s packing. Enzo ...

Hollywood darling Jolie Sunshine is accustomed to trashy headlines. But the shocking gossip surrounding her father’s sudden demise has sent her over the edge… right into the arms of millionaire Sam Becket. Jolie and Sam once shared much more than a bed, till fame ended their escalating relationship. Now that very limelight is bringing them back together. With a murder to solve and a white-hot passion to quench, they’re really about to give the paparazzi a field day.

This book is a collection of short stories that describe some of the unique incidents and experiences from my life. These are stories that have stuck in my mind for years. They are unforgettable. There have been funny incidents, near death experiences, moments of inspiration and periods of deep introspection. I also included a section with stories that explore racism and prejudice. I feel that this section of the book is very important. When I get together with a group of friends, we usually begin by talking about how our families is doing. Another subject may be the recent vacations that ...

-Extraordinary encounters. Unexpected humor. Endless challenges. Life-threatening diseases. Unthinkable trauma.- Welcome to STAT: Crazy Medical Stories as told by the healthcare professionals themselves. From peculiar conditions and mysterious ailments to remarkable recoveries and perplexing medical mysteries, Stat: Crazy Medical Stories, draws from real-life accounts. Each chapter unveils crazy medical cases as narrated by the healthcare professionals themselves. The stories take you on a captivating journey across various disciplines, including general medicine, surgery, psychiatry, and ...

THE OPPORTUNIST – AN ENTERPRISING LIFE IN SPAIN is Craig K. Kirkland’s account of his inventive and ignoble efforts to make his fortune. After a rather unscrupulous apprenticeship in the north midlands he is forced to flee abroad to further his ambitions and in this amusing chronicle he recounts his unethical exploits with brazen honesty. Mr Kirkland’s eye-opening tale of ingenuity and avarice, though not for the overly righteous, makes for an entertaining and thought-provoking read. This book is not intended as an instruction manual and the publisher does not condone the author’s ...

Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? No one has, not in many, many years. They used to be everywhere. You couldn’t walk out of your front door in New York City in the 1930s without seeing dozens of those little guys scurrying around. Today, there are millions of grown up pigeons in New York, but not a baby pigeon to be seen. That’s because they come out of the factory as adults. In Birds Aren’t Real, whistleblowers Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos trace the roots of a political conspiracy so vast and well-hidden that it almost seems like an elaborate hoax.

Sookie Stackhouse hat nur mit einem Vampir freiwillig Umgang, und das ist ihr Geliebter Bill. Aber er ist in letzter Zeit so distanziert - und außerdem in einem anderen Staat. Sein finsterer, unattraktiver Chef Eric hat eine Idee, wo er sein könnte. Ehe sich Sookie versieht, ist sie in Jackson, Mississippi, um sich in der Unter-Unterwelt des Club Dead umzusehen. Das ist ein gefährlicher kleiner Laden, in dem sich die elitäre Vampirgesellschaft trifft, um auszuspannen und sich einen Schluck Null Rhesus Negativ zu gönnen.

When Mr Alec Quigley, superannuated insurance clerk, leaves the Bedfordshire bungalow of his indomitable niece Angela and makes his way to the Spanish village that he once read about in a history book, things are unlikely to go smoothly. A man with many foibles, not least his tendency to fantasise, his guardian Angela wants him home before he can get into any of the frequent scrapes that have dogged his – and, of late, her – existence. He is, however, intent on carving out a new life for himself in the Spanish interior and soon enlists the help of Fernando the fireman, Jorge the ...

Filius Thoreau, arch-benefit fraudster and jaunty raconteur, celebrates the silver anniversary of his induction into the world of the workshy with his candid, but not too candid, autobiography in which he celebrates the unique and sinuous path he has steered through the minefield of work-obsessed modern Britain. From the dark days of the Poll Tax through the laissez-faire nineties to the ghastly government work schemes of the new millennium, Filius has marched onwards to the sound of his own personal drummer and constructed a uniquely apologist philosophy along the way.

In forty-eight hours, my life will be over. I just want one thing before I say I do. Life as a royal princess is a royal pain. I want nothing to do with the title, the crown, or the arranged marriage. My mother has other ideas, though. And she always gets what she wants. I need a Prince Charming to save me from this nightmare. Instead, I’m dealing with a king-sized jerk. Carter Cross is my new bodyguard. He’s nothing I’ve ever wanted— but he might be everything I need. I’ve got a long list of firsts to burn through before walking down the aisle: First date, first kiss, first ...

STAYING PUT is an account of one Englishman’s battle to secure his future in Spain. Jack Birtwell, a sprightly sixty-year-old from Accrington, Lancashire, is due to retire in 2019 and hopes that his poor pension prospects won’t force him to sell his beloved house in Spain and return to England to live out his days. When Brian, his friend and employer, is forced to lay him off from his part-time building job his dilemma becomes even more acute. After racking his brains and those of his closest friends for money-making ideas, he thinks he has come up with a solution. It will put paid to ...

In HOW WE SEE YOU, teacher and translator Álvaro Ramírez has collected ten biographical accounts of the lives of British people in Spain, from the late fifties until the present day, written by himself and others, with significant input from the subjects themselves. In this diverse collection we see the trials and adventures of individuals and couples through mostly sympathetic Spanish eyes, from Walter’s enigmatic sojourn in mid-century Castile to Alan’s reflective tale of a long life in voluntary exile. Here we see Brits at work and play, prospering or enduring, from a point of view...

THE HOUSE THAT JACK BOUGHT is a light-hearted, informative account of a Scotsman’s relocation to the Spanish hinterland. When Jack Waldie and his wife Nicola buy a house in rural Spain they intend to start a new life there, away from the hustle and bustle of Glasgow, but when things go awry between them Jack chooses to keep the spacious old place and moves there to write his crime novels in peace. In the small village in an area known as Spanish Lapland, due to its ever decreasing population, Jack befriends key local people who refuse to allow their birthplace to die. When he’s ...

A broken heart is only the beginning for her. When Anna's fiancé's philandering ways shatter their happy future, she decides she’s through playing the victim. Now, rather than read about life, she wants to live it—starting with a sabbatical from her editing job to travel the world. He’s still picking up the pieces after the woman he loved walked away from him. Holden is content with his life as the owner of an English Inn until Anna stumbles into his life. Passion erupts between them in undeniable chemistry, making Holden think maybe he might have found happiness a second time. ...

In KENNETH’S QUEST – J.J. Birtwell relates the story of Mr Cooper’s search for his son. When Kenneth’s vulnerable son disappears from his home in Estepona, the Derbyshire builder flies to Spain to find him. Having little to go on, Kenneth and his ex-wife Maite do everything in their power to track the twenty-year-old down, and when young Adam is finally spotted in Alicante, Kenneth sets off to find him, beginning a quest that will take him as far as the northern coast. Following clues gathered through their detective work and chance encounters, Kenneth begins to learn a lot about ...

When a man called Bryan arrives in the Murcian village everyone is curious to know why he has come, not least Peter, the author of this account. Having arrived by taxi with one small bag, Bryan rents a house for cash, befriends both locals and expats, meets a dark mystery woman in Caravaca de la Cruz, and begins to behave very oddly indeed. Peter and his pals, eager to ascertain what this enigmatic chap is up to, begin by monitoring his every move, but Peter’s wife Carol, an initially reluctant sleuth, urges them to employ a more softly-softly approach in order to catch him out. When ...

SPIKE IN SPAIN is the light-hearted story of a peculiar Lancastrian’s relocation to a small town at the foot of the Alicante mountains. An obsessive cyclist and the bane of his long-suffering wife’s life, Spike finds himself booted out of the family home and consigned to a grotty terraced house in Colne. Believing, incorrectly, that an old clubmate has invited him to stay at his Spanish retreat, a spell of lateral thinking by the cycling club president, Pete, leads to Spike’s flight to his old pal Mike’s house instead. As the charitable Mike has already rescued three donkeys and a ...

AN INNOCENT IN SPAIN is the light-hearted account of an unlikely expat’s first months in his new country. Ian Smith might not be the first tubby, middle-aged Englishman to arrive in a small Spanish town, but he’s certainly one of the poorest and most naive. Luckily for him, long-time resident Graham Baker is on hand to help him settle in and somehow survive on his meagre savings. After an initial, potentially calamitous blunder Ian appears to rally, but it’s only a matter of time before he finds himself in dire straits once again. Will he have to return to Lancashire, more penniless ...

Jacob Torney, uprooted from his Cumbrian home at the tender age of fifteen-and-a-half, had to get to grips with a new language and culture whether he liked it or not. Thrust into small-town Spanish life just when he should have been studying for his GCSEs, his candid account tells not only of his own ups and downs, but also those of his Guinness-guzzling, tax-evading father, his long-suffering mother, and his happy-go-lucky younger sister, Katie. After steering a shaky course between the pitfalls of adolescence and the huge demands of school life, Jacob holds nothing, or very little, back ...

‘Making Friends – A Spanish Memoir’ is a book of reminiscences based on real people and events, commencing in the late summer of the year 2000. A humorous, informative and sometimes poignant account of a young Englishman’s discovery of a whole new world beyond the boundaries of the expat teaching community, his friendships with Antonio, Dominic, Pedrín and others at first complicate then enrich his life in the Spanish city of Murcia. In an account that takes us from seedy bars, through rock group rehearsals, to valiant attempts to help the eccentric and rather unstable Antonio sell...