All the Worst Humans
How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians
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Narrated by:
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Holter Graham
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By:
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Phil Elwood
About this listen
Long-listed, New York Times Book Review Notable Books of the Year, 2024
This program is ready by Audie Award-winning narrator Holter Graham.
A bridge-burning, riotous memoir by a top PR operative in Washington who exposes the secrets of the $129-billion industry that controls so much of what we see and hear in the media—from a man who used to pull the strings, and who is now pulling back the curtain.
After nearly two decades in the Washington PR business, Elwood wants to come clean, by exposing the dark underbelly of the very industry that’s made him so successful. The first step is revealing exactly what he’s been up to for the past twenty years—and it isn’t pretty.
Elwood has worked for a murderer’s row of questionable clients, including Gaddafi, Assad, and the government of Qatar. In All the Worst Humans, Elwood unveils how the PR business works, and how the truth gets made, spun, and sold to the public—not shying away from the gritty details of his unlikely career.
This is a piercing look into the corridors of money, power, politics, and control, all told in Elwood’s disarmingly funny and entertaining voice. He recounts a four-day Las Vegas bacchanal with a dictator’s son, plotting communications strategies against a terrorist organization in Western Africa, and helping to land a Middle Eastern dictator’s wife a glowing profile in Vogue on the same time the Arab Spring broke out. And he reveals all his slippery tricks for seducing journalists in order to create chaos and ultimately cover for politicians, dictators, and spies—the industry-secret tactics that led to his rise as a political PR pro.
Along the way, Phil walks the halls of the Capitol, rides in armored cars through Abuja, and watches his client lose his annual income at the roulette table. But as he moved up the ranks, he felt worse and worse about the sleaziness of it all—until Elwood receives a shocking wake-up call from the FBI. This risky game nearly cost Elwood his life and his freedom. Seeing the light, Elwood decides to change his ways, and his clients, and to tell the full truth about who is the worst human.
A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.
©2024 Phil Elwood (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Hilarious and harrowing, and hard to put down. Indeed, I didn't put it down."—Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking
"Journalists often wonder what spinmasters are doing to influence them. The reality Phil Elwood reveals is worse—and more interesting—than we usually imagine. All the Worst Humans is an exhilarating ride through the underbelly of global power structures."—Ben Smith, author of Traffic and editor in chief of Semafor
"If Hunter S. Thompson billed clients by the hour, it would look like All The Worst Humans by Phil Elwood. The pacing and storytelling propel the book's epic sweep across the darkside of DC and global hotspots. Even the most experienced in PR will learn things they did not know, and Elwood's gripping personal story is an unexpected and wild ride."—Bill McCarren, former Executive Director, National Press Club
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- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
- By: Ben Austen, Harrison David Rivers
- Narrated by: Ben Austen, Patina Miller, Harry Lennix, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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A Gripping and Necessary Work
- By booklover on 11-24-24
By: Ben Austen, and others
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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The Philosopher's Toolkit: How to Be the Most Rational Person in Any Room
- By: Patrick Grim, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Patrick Grim
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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Taught by award-winning Professor Patrick Grim of the State University of New York at Stony Brook, The Philosopher’s Toolkit: How to Be the Most Rational Person in Any Room arms you against the perils of bad thinking and supplies you with an arsenal of strategies to help you be more creative, logical, inventive, realistic, and rational in all aspects of your daily life.
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This should NOT be an audio book
- By Brooks Emerson on 03-21-20
By: Patrick Grim, and others
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
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My Big TOE: Awakening
- Book One of a Trilogy Unifying Philosophy, Physics, and Metaphysics
- By: Thomas Campbell
- Narrated by: Thomas Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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My Big TOE: Awakening, written by a nuclear physicist in the language of contemporary culture, unifies science and philosophy, physics and metaphysics, mind and matter, purpose and meaning, the normal and the paranormal. The entirety of human experience (mind, body, and spirit) including both our objective and subjective worlds is brought together under one seamless scientific understanding.
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What a Trip (but to where?)
- By Michael on 11-26-13
By: Thomas Campbell
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Mythology: Mega Collection
- Classic Stories from the Greek, Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Mesopotamian and Egyptian Mythology
- By: Scott Lewis
- Narrated by: Madison Niederhauser, Oliver Hunt
- Length: 31 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know how many wives Zeus had? Or how the famous Trojan War was caused by one beautiful lady? Or how Thor got his hammer? Give your imagination a real treat. This Mega Mythology Collection of eight audiobooks is for you....
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An interesting set of introductions.
- By Kevin Potter on 05-30-19
By: Scott Lewis
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No animal is so entangled in human history as the horse. The thread starts in prehistory, with a slight, shy animal, hunted for food. Domesticating the horse allowed early humans to settle the vast Eurasian steppe; later, their horses enabled new forms of warfare, encouraged long-distance trade routes, and ended up acquiring deep cultural and religious significance.
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superb!
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Praiseworthy
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In a small town in the north of Australia, a mysterious cloud heralds both an ecological catastrophe and a gathering of the ancestors. A crazed visionary looks to donkeys to solve the global climate crisis and the economic dependency of the Aboriginal people. His wife, seeking solace from his madness, follows the dance of butterflies and scours the internet to find out how her Aboriginal/Chinese family could be repatriated to China. One of their sons, named Aboriginal Sovereignty, is determined to commit suicide.
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What listeners say about All the Worst Humans
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- William K. Shireman
- 07-04-24
Binge-worthy. Every worried citizen needs to hear this story.
Every American red and blue needs to hear this powerful primer on the political power broker industry, the narrative-spinners that keep the silenced majority divided and the monied in power, and the infection of the media industry by a business model that profits by dividing Americans in fear, anger and hate. Elwood was caught up deeply in it, and while he’s no model of virtue, he is an honest insider who names names, and he represents thousands who continue to exploit the system, some with and some without remorse.
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- Photo Curt
- 07-10-24
The Best Book About the Worst Humans
What happens when you take a bipolar, depressive, former high school debate champ, college flunkee, and give him a job doing PR for dictators and spy agencies? Hilarious mayhem ensues in this well written and well read memoir. This is one of the most enjoyable audio books I’ve heard since COVID.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-04-24
Eye opening!
Great look at the power of the PR machine. Would love a volume 2 with more stories.
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- Amy Nemeth
- 07-17-24
Riveting storytelling!
Gaddafi, ketamine, the New York Times, Donald Trump, and too much booze- all the ingredients for a juicy story of a life on the inside of DC’s PR power hitters. I laughed, shed a few tears, and was mouth-agape at the insane mechanics of getting the stories of “the worst humans” in newspapers and on cable news programs.
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- stan
- 08-28-24
Humor
I really enjoy this book. Kind of reminded me of fear and loathing in Las Vegas.
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- Reed Bell
- 09-08-24
This man’s story is wild.
Absolutely worth a listen. I’ll recommend this book to anyone! These stories really give you a behind the scenes look at how the media industry works, especially for those with power and money.
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- DHaston
- 07-05-24
Wow, what a story!
This gives such an insight into how the real world works. We always wonder about what happens inside the machine and this book is such an honest look inside. Listened as an Audiobook and the narration was great and kept me interested the whole time.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-14-24
this book is awesome, listen now!
words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. seven unique words, come on
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-24-24
Extremely Interesting Story
This story/life is so interesting! It certainly opened my eyes to what happens behinds the scenes of the stories we hear everyday! I loved how he addresses the suicide epidemic and brings light to it!
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-07-24
All Your Worst Fears Are True
The public relations industry is far worse than you thought. The title is well chosen
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