
Bill the Vampire
The Tome of Bill, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Christopher John Fetherolf
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By:
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Rick Gualtieri
About this listen
THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.
My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out with my throat torn open.
Problem is, I didn't stay dead.
Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.
It might be because he can’t control me like the rest. Or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Either way, he's given me ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven.
If I fail, my ass is toast, but I’ll need help if I want to survive. Too bad my roommates are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally’s just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is.
Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.
Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire - book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that will leave you thirsting for more.
If you're a fan of Hunter Blain, Steve McHugh, Christopher Moore, or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn.
Don’t miss out! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing.
Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a buttload of swearing.
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Story
My name's Tamara Bentley, and I should be happy to be heading home for the holidays. Too bad tensions between the supernatural forces surrounding my hometown are at an all-time high - witches and werewolves, ancient enemies who would happily slaughter each other. One side fears me, the other doesn't know I exist, and I aim to keep it that way, lest they both decide to find common ground in killing me.
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Second volume in an fantastic series.
- By Clint M Niec on 08-23-19
By: Rick Gualtieri
What listeners say about Bill the Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Raymond Neil
- 04-13-24
The narrator’s performance was awesome
The flow of action, humor and narrator performance made this a highly enjoyable experience both times I’ve listen d to it.
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- Jordan thornton
- 04-09-23
MC is a over eager puppy
I came into this pretty blind with how the story would go, and so far I’m not impressed. For one you can only stand so many jokes/puns within a few sentences from each other but this wouldn’t matter if the jokes were good but they are kinda pathetic. Second is how much of a puss the MC really is, more than 3/4ths of the way through and he doesn’t stand up for himself at all. Third is how pathetic he acts towards the person who literally killed him; being more concerned with how hot she is. To add onto the last point he acts like an eager puppy whenever a hot woman is around despite being surrounded by bodies. Fourth the MC has not agency what so ever, told he has a time limit on protection from other vamps but it more concerned with missing his DND game or working the next day. Considering all that the story so far is just boring.. we’re told he’s a special vampire but doesn’t show any redeeming qualities if you don’t count his terrible jokes. I think I’ll be skipping this series
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