BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona Audiobook By Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps cover art

BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1

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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
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About this listen

Some predicted that the AI singularity would result in robots destroying the world. None of them ever understood that it was the sales algorithms they had to be afraid of.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised.

But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed.

It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie. Because BuyMort doesn’t care about anything except the bottom line.

Enter Tyson Dawes, a no-cares slacker with a traumatic past, two wrinkled bucks in his wallet, and a crap job caretaking a crap campground in the desert sands of Arizona. He had a deal with the world. He didn’t change it, and it didn’t change him. Seemed simple enough. He liked it, anyway.

BuyMort changed all that the moment it let loose a torrent of alien entrepreneurs upon his planet, intent on selling everything that hadn’t been tagged through the system and classified as his private property.

When a man has little, he cherishes it. When that little is lost, he’ll do whatever it takes and change into whatever he needs to be able to get that little bit back.

©2022 Damien Hanson and Joseph Phelps (P)2023 Podium Audio
Dystopian Fiction Humorous Post-Apocalyptic Science Fiction Funny Witty Comedy
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What listeners say about BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

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This is awesome, and I can’t wait for book 2

The story is killer, narration excellent. Really looking forward to book 2. One of the best series ever!!!!

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Clever Shopping Horror Fantasy

If a prime shopping network could turn into a universal nightmare, this story would tell the tale with enthusiastic narration. Inventive concept, although a little repetitive with the violence.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Think I'll stick to the Kindle version.

This is I think only the second time I've said this, but the audio version of this book adds nothing and the voices are grating for about half the characters.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Loved the performance!

The narrator has done a great job to bring the emotions of the MC out. Pace, tempo, volume, everything. He definitely pulled me into the story and kept me listening for more.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

So I read the first three books.

I'm going to shoot straight with you guys, this series has a few issues. The author often lacks consistency within their story, and the narrator struggles with female voices. That being said it has its moments and is overall entertaining, worth reading. I probably won't continue if a fourth book comes out but book three is a good jumping off point anyway.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great story 👍

narrator was spot on and loved the story. I will get the next book.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

An great ideal with problem areas

I could go into a whole spill but I will keep it brief. 1) MC seems to simp for the first female character without even describing why he likes her to us. 2) Prices in the store seems wild at best like how someone gets a power mech that's amazing vs how much a hazmat suit cost 3) Writer forgets if MC is a god of violence or a person who just panics

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Interesting premise for the apocalypse!

I enjoyed the premise and world building. The main character takes a minute to grow on to. Supporting characters struggle, equal parts writing and performance.

Story has long periods of uncomfortable romance between MC and a secondary character that drags the pacing down to a halt.

Some of the narrator’s voices for secondary characters are hard to understand, makes me wish I read the book at times.

A “free” chunk of the sequel eats up the last 30 min of time. Little disappointed, since it feels like they padded the length with it.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Lots of fun, characters are great but…

Only thing that could be improved would be using a full cast, or at least females for the female voices. This narrator, it’s rough, kinda broke the immersion every time he did female voices.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A refreshing take on litrpg

This book took me by surprise, I was not expecting it to be so good. This book takes all the tired old tropes in the genre and turns them on their heads. Great characters a refreshing new take on the “system” and the best part not a super powerful OP. Just a regular guy put In an bad situation. Do your self a favor and buy this book.

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7 people found this helpful