
Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
A Festive Mystery
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Narrated by:
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Barton Welch
About this listen
Benjamin Stevenson returns with a Christmas addition to his bestselling, “deviously good fun” (Nita Prose), Ernest Cunningham mysteries. Unwrap all the Christmas staples: presents, family, an impossible murder or two, and a deadly advent calendar of clues. If Knives Out and The Thursday Murder Club kissed under the mistletoe.
My name’s Ernest Cunningham. I used to be a fan of reading Golden Age murder mysteries, until I found myself with a haphazard career getting stuck in the middle of real-life ones. I’d hoped, this Christmas, that any self-respecting murderer would kick their feet up and take it easy over the holidays. I was wrong.
So here I am, backstage at the show of world-famous magician Rylan Blaze, whose benefactor has just been murdered. My suspects are all professional tricksters: masters of the art of misdirection.
THE MAGICIAN
THE ASSISTANT
THE EXECUTIVE
THE HYPNOTIST
THE IDENTICAL TWIN
THE COUNSELLOR
THE TECH
My clues are even more abstract: A suspect covered in blood, without a memory of how it got there. A murder committed without setting foot inside the room where it happens. And an advent calendar. Because, you know, it’s Christmas.
If I can see through the illusions, I know I can solve it.
After all, a good murder is just like a magic trick, isn’t it?
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- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
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Authors Keegan-Michael Key and Elle Key build on the popularity of their 2022 Webby Award-winning podcast and delve deeper into the world of sketch, helped along with new essays created expressly for the book by comedy greats.
By: Keegan-Michael Key, and others
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The Christmas season has arrived in Lower Lockwood, and the Fairway Players are busy rehearsing their festive holiday production of Jack and the Beanstalk to raise money for a new church roof. But despite the season, goodwill is distinctly lacking among the amateur theater enthusiasts with petty rivalries, a possibly asbestos-filled beanstalk, and some perennially absent players behind the scenes. Of course, there’s also the matter of the dead body onstage. Who could possibly have had the victim on their naughty list?
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Decent story, annoying performance
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It's Christmas Eve at the Merry Monarch. Nestled amongst the Yorkshire Dales, the pub is preparing to host its annual festive games night for its rabble of regulars. But this year, they are interrupted by a knock at the door from a stranger, stranded by the snow storm that's closing in on the village. And this won't be the only surprise of the night. When the power is cut off and darkness descends, the games turn deadly . . . It seems one of the group would kill to win.
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The streets of San Francisco would be lined with hardcovers if rare book expert Brooklyn Wainwright had her way. And her mentor wouldn't be lying in a pool of his own blood on the eve of a celebration for his latest book restoration. With his final breath he leaves Brooklyn a cryptic message, and gives her a priceless - and supposedly cursed - copy of Goethe's Faust for safekeeping.
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Lily Armitage never intended to return to Endgame House—the grand family home where her mother died twenty-one Christmases ago—until she receives a letter from her aunt, asking her to return to take part in an annual tradition: the Christmas Game. The challenge? Solve twelve clues to find twelve keys. The prize? The deeds to the manor house. Lily has no desire to win the house. But her aunt makes one more promise: The clues will also reveal who really killed Lily's mother all those years ago.
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It’s Christmas, and for the first time in years the entire Birch family will be under one roof. Even Emma and Andrew’s elder daughter - who is usually off saving the world - will be joining them at Weyfield Hall. But Olivia, a doctor, is only coming home because she has to. She’s just returned from treating an epidemic abroad and has been told she must stay in quarantine for a week...and so too should her family. For the next seven days, the Birches are locked down, cut off from the rest of humanity, and forced into each other’s orbits.
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Servo
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Most of us have done our time in the retail trenches, but service stations are undoubtedly the frontline, as Melburnian David Goodwin found out when he started working the weekend graveyard shift at his local servo. From his very first night shift, David absorbed a consistent level of mind-bending lunacy, encountering everything from giant shoplifting bees and balaclava-clad goons hurling cordial-filled water bombs from the sunroof of their BMW, to anarcho-goths high on MDMA releasing large rats into the store from their matching Harry Potter backpacks.
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The oldest mystery specialty bookstore in the world, The Mysterious Bookshop, has for most of its forty-five-year history commissioned an original short story as a holiday gift for its customers. Written exclusively for the store, the stories were given as a holiday gift to its customers as a thank you for their business, handed out or mailed between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
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Very Good
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Laid off from her department store job, Carmen has perilously little cash and few options. The prospect of spending Christmas with her perfect sister Sofia, in Sofia’s perfect house with her perfect children and her perfectly ordered yuppie life, does not appeal. Frankly, Sofia doesn’t exactly want her prickly sister Carmen there, either. But Sofia has yet another baby on the way, a mother desperate to see her daughters get along, and a client who needs help revitalizing his shabby old bookshop. So Carmen moves in and takes the job.
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Irritating and filthy language
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Murder at Mistletoe Manor
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Klarinda Snow is the innkeeper of a beautiful, historic bed and breakfast in Windy Pines, Idaho. Guests come to Mistletoe Manor to escape from their troubles while enjoying the scenic mountain town. When all seven rooms of the inn get booked on a Tuesday night in December, Klarinda is excited about having so much business, but a little confused as well. After all, her inn normally isn't exactly a destination hotspot.
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Delightful Listen!
- By Jan M on 12-15-19
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The Christmas Card Crime
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A Christmas party is punctuated by a gunshot under a policeman’s watchful eye. A jewel heist is planned amidst the glitz and glamour of Oxford Street’s Christmas shopping. And lost in a snowstorm, a man finds a motive for murder.... This collection of mysteries explores the darker side of the festive season, from unexplained disturbances in the fresh snow to the darkness that lurks beneath the sparkling decorations.
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Aahhh... Just The Right Blend Of Mystery, Murder And Christmas.!!
- By John on 12-04-18
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Sherlock Holmes and the Twelve Thefts of Christmas
- The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Series, Book 3
- By: Tim Major
- Narrated by: Tom Woosnam
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Sherlock Holmes’s discovery of a mysterious musical score initiates a devious Christmas challenge set by Irene Adler, with clues that are all variations on the theme of “theft without theft”, such as a statue missing from a museum found hidden in the room it was taken from. In the snowy London lead-up to Christmas, Holmes’s preoccupation with the “Adler Variations” risks him neglecting the case of his new client, Norwegian arctic explorer Fridtjof Nansen, who has received a series of threats in the form of animal carcasses left on his doorstep.
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Narrator not for me
- By Anna Cashman on 12-04-23
By: Tim Major
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A Treasury of African American Christmas Stories
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- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A collection of Christmas stories written by African American journalists, activists, and writers from the late 19th century to the modern civil rights movement. This landmark collection features writings from well-known black writers, activists, and visionaries such as Pauline Hopkins, Langston Hughes, and John Henrik Clark along with literary gems from rediscovered writers. Originally published in African American newspapers, periodicals, and journals between 1880 and 1953, these enchanting Christmas tales are part of the black literary tradition that flourished after the Civil War.
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Not all cheerful but important nonetheless
- By BJM on 11-30-23
What listeners say about Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
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- Khudson
- 01-02-25
enjoyable
person who read was easy to hear and understand. enjoyable story, good holiday book, liked it
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- Steph
- 12-29-24
Magic and murder are illusions.
I really enjoyed this short, holiday special in the Ernest Cunningham series. It's not so much a Christmas story as it is just taking place around Christmas, like Die Hard. It did have an Advent calendar of clues, which I did not figure out.
I also liked the mystery and how less involved it was than the previous two books.
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- Michael
- 10-29-24
Festive Fun!
I loved this little novella, while at the same time I wished it was a full length novel!
Still, I’ll take anything I can get in this excellent and unique series. Love the audiobook narrator as well!
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- Claire Thomas
- 10-28-24
So Fun!
Even after the novelty of Benjamin Stevenson's approach has worn off, these books are still fun. The themes are clever, the mystery is crazily complicated, the characters are engaging, and Barton Welch's performance is outstanding. I will gobble up every book Stevenson adds to this series.
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- Ben
- 12-21-24
Great seasonal novella
Even though it’s set in scorching Australia it still fits the festive mood with the novelty of advent calendars and the like. Quick, interesting storyline. Great for the season!
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- Allison Adams
- 12-29-24
Great fun
Love this series and his other books, and I appreciate the adaptation of the text for the listener (vs. reader)!
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- Bare Knees
- 10-30-24
Disappointed
Where do I start?
Too short.
Weak character development.
Not remotely funny.
Nor was there a believable explanation as to how Erin got blood all over her.
I can not believe I waited for this book for months, and woke up [with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning] on October 22nd. Feel cheated, let down, and robbed at the same. Not just because the two previous books were great but because all the literal bells and whitles on the audio book were simple time-fillers. Narrator still has two vocal ranges: constipated and unconvincing, which would have been okay if the book was anywhere near as funny as Everyone in my family has killed someone or clever as Everyone on this train is a suspect.
Hope the next one disappoints less. This was neither the money I spent on it, nor a great birthday present to myself.
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- mexmike
- 12-16-24
Loved it!
It was a fun and easy listen. Loved the creativity with the Christmas theme. It made me think of an old fashioned radio production.
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- Paul & Kim Pfeifer
- 01-13-25
Shorter, but still fun!
Narrated did a very good job, distinguishing characters and telling the story. This is a shorter story than the other two books but it’s still a load of fun. Can’t wait for the next one ( praying there’s a next one)!
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- bmacfn16
- 11-17-24
Worth the read if you like the series
While it wasn't as good as the other two books, it's a short little story that's a fun side story in the series. Emphasis on SIDE STORY! He explains the rules of a "Christmas Special" in the book and so if you apply that to this story, it helps you appreciate it for what it is. The explanation of how someone becomes covered in blood is very weak and it's the only explanation I really didn't LIKE. Overall, a fun read if you've enjoyed the other two books.
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