For Your Own Good
Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
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Narrated by:
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Jo Anna Perrin
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By:
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Alice Miller
About this listen
For Your Own Good, the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst. With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term effects of abusive child-rearing. Her conclusions - on what sort of parenting can create a drug addict, or a murderer, or a Hitler - offer much insight, and make a good deal of sense, while also straying far from psychoanalytic dogma about human nature, which Miller vehemently rejects. This important study paints a shocking picture of the violent world - indeed, of the ever-more-violent world - that each generation helps to create when traditional upbringing, with its hidden cruelty, is perpetuated. The book also presents listeners with useful solutions in this regard - namely, to re-sensitize the victimized child who has been trapped within the adult, and to unlock the emotional life that has been frozen in repression.
©1980 Suhrkamp Verlag; translation copyright 1983, 1984, 1990, 2002 by Alice Miller; preface copyright 2002 by Alice Miller (P)2017 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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While imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp, Simon Wiesenthal was taken one day from his work detail to the bedside of a dying member of the SS. Haunted by the crimes in which he had participated, the soldier wanted to confess to - and obtain absolution from - a Jew. Faced with the choice between compassion and justice, silence and truth, Wiesenthal said nothing.
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What Would You Do?
- By Simone on 08-31-16
By: Simon Wiesenthal
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Before It's Too Late
- Why Some Kids Get into Trouble - and What Parents Can Do about It
- By: Stanton E. Samenow PhD
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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If you sense that your child is seriously troubled, you may feel bewildered, helpless, ineffective. How can you stop your child from throwing away his or her life? How can you avoid thinking that you've failed as a parent? In this newly revised and expanded edition of the classic guide Before It's Too Late, clinical psychologist Stanton E. Samenow explains how to break the useless cycle of blame and take corrective action.
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special education teacher
- By Amazon Customer on 03-02-18
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Notes of a Native Son
- By: James Baldwin
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Written during the 1940s and early 1950s, when Baldwin was only in his twenties, the essays collected in Notes of a Native Son capture a view of Black life and Black thought at the dawn of the civil rights movement and as the movement slowly gained strength through the words of one of the most captivating essayists and foremost intellectuals of that era.
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Masterful Essayist
- By Andre on 09-30-16
By: James Baldwin
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The New Strong-Willed Child
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: John Fuller
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. James Dobson has completely rewritten, updated, and expanded his classic best seller The Strong-Willed Child for a new generation of parents and teachers. The New Strong-Willed Child follows on the heels of Dr. Dobson's phenomenal best seller Bringing Up Boys. It offers practical how-to advice on raising difficult-to-handle children and incorporates the latest research with Dr. Dobson's legendary wit and wisdom.
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Answer to my prayers!
- By JG on 03-04-16
By: James C. Dobson
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Building Confidence in Your Child
- By: James Dobson
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
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Proven ways to improve your child's self-esteem. A solid sense of self-worth helps your child make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve his or her dreams. But what's the best way to instill self-confidence while still teaching your child to value and care about others? Based on a biblical understanding of human worth, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches you how to parent positively and help your child grow into a secure adult who is poised for success in life.
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Outdated Terms/Assumptions- I'm disappointed
- By Bobye M Ruddell on 02-17-20
By: James Dobson
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Stay
- A History of Suicide and the Philosophies Against It
- By: Jennifer Michael Hecht
- Narrated by: Jennifer Michael Hecht
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
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Worldwide, more people die by suicide than by murder, and many more are left behind to grieve. Despite distressing statistics that show suicide rates rising, the subject, long a taboo, is infrequently talked about. In this sweeping intellectual and cultural history, poet and historian Jennifer Michael Hecht channels her grief for two friends lost to suicide into a search for history’s most persuasive arguments against the irretrievable act, arguments she hopes to bring back into public consciousness.
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Informative but oddly dispassionate
- By Scott on 01-07-14
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Controlling People
- How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
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In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love. Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.
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EXTRAORDINARY
- By Rob on 02-27-14
By: Patricia Evans
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12 Rules for Life
- An Antidote to Chaos
- By: Jordan B. Peterson, Norman Doidge MD
- Narrated by: Jordan B. Peterson
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
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What does everyone in the modern world need to know? Renowned psychologist Jordan B. Peterson's answer to this most difficult of questions uniquely combines the hard-won truths of ancient tradition with the stunning revelations of cutting-edge scientific research. Humorous, surprising, and informative, Dr. Peterson tells us why skateboarding boys and girls must be left alone, what terrible fate awaits those who criticize too easily, and why you should always pet a cat when you meet one on the street.
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Not Your Average 'Self Help' Book
- By The Bookie on 06-04-18
By: Jordan B. Peterson, and others
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Changes That Heal
- Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You
- By: Henry Cloud
- Narrated by: Dick Fredricks
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us struggle with anxiety, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy. We know that God created us in his image, but how can we be loving when we feel burned out? How can we be free when we struggle with addiction? Will we ever enjoy the complete healing God promises? Combining his professional expertise and personal experience, renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud guides us through four basic ways to become joy-filled, mature followers of Christ.
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Terrible production, excellent book
- By R. Carlson on 10-05-08
By: Henry Cloud
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Could be much shorter
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Speed up playback for better listening experience
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
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The causes of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grew up in houses that were not homes-in families that were as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated, and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul, and body. This book is a practical guide to recovering from lingering childhood trauma. It is copiously illustrated with examples of the author's and his clients' journeys of recovering.
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Needs a PDF
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The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
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It took me 45 years to finally know why my Mother is as she is.
- By Angela on 06-07-17
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Everybody Is a Liar
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When Julie Buckley, a successful mystery writer, suspects her husband of cheating, she turns to her best friend, Darby, for advice. When Darby suggests couples therapy, Julie and Oliver find themselves discussing Oliver’s betrayal with their new therapist, Liza. Liza is competent and reassuring, and her advice and Oliver’s openness to change seem to be helping the couple rebuild their relationship.
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Meh.
- By Greeny on 11-18-24
By: Liv Constantine
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Healing Your Lost Inner Child
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- By: Robert Jackman
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Overall
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Performance
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Most people don't realize how much unresolved emotional pain they carry around. They don't know why they always feel depressed, anxious, victimized, or disappointed. They wonder why they keep making the same self-sabotaging impulsive decisions. These patterns often stem from their lost inner child, which carries a false narrative that has been on repeat since childhood.
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Excellent book for healing your inner child
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What listeners say about For Your Own Good
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JB
- 10-08-18
Great book- too wordy
This book is great, but very difficult to listen to. It is very wordy. I am getting so frustrated listening and trying to follow along. I wish it was narrated by someone who spoke with more expression.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Lusipher Cain
- 11-21-17
everyone should read or listen.
if you want to be free from torment, be it by another or by the self, this will definitely open your eyes to this. jo anna perrin did an excellent job of reading.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Angela Piccione
- 02-14-23
Stay with it.
Wisdom we all need. It is a bit hard to follow only because the author is so often switching between story telling or reciting others writing. Which is then followed by her own commentary.
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- Lourdes
- 04-12-24
Shocking reveling
Highly recommended to at least have an idea how the mistreatment of parents affect our adult behavior
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- Maya F.
- 09-30-17
Monotonous performance
The narrator's performance was very monotonous, especially for such a long audio.
The book contains (especially the first section) contains a lot of excerpts from other books, and the narrator read them all in one tone, it was difficult for me to differentiate just from hearing what belonged to this book and what being read as an excerpt.
In other audios, narrators either change their tone, pitch, or speed to indicate a change between characters, quotes or excerpts.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Edward C James
- 01-18-20
Heart breaking reality
The author demostrates a very harsh reality on how abuse dictates the future of children. Thank you Alice Miller for such heart breaking awareness
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1 person found this helpful
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- Timothy
- 05-15-18
Should be required reading for everyone
This truly is the most self revealing book I've ever read. It should be required reading for everyone person on the planet.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Victoria A Kaplan
- 01-27-19
Devastating truth, decades after original publication
Devastating truth, decades after original publication. I am grateful to the author for the brutal truth she lays bare on these pages. It’s hard to imagine (because it had such an influence on me the first time I read it), but it was even even more meaningful this time around.
In my opinion, Perrin’s narration did a disservice to the text. Plaintiff and droll, she slaughtered the poem by Plath and lessened the quality of the listening experience.
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6 people found this helpful
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- gabrielle lilly
- 08-09-23
Dark and Depressing Walk Through Pedagogy
I can't tell where she is criticizing and where she is advocating for manipulation and abuse. Confusing, triggering, dark. I enjoyed her book on the gifted child more, though it had some of this. This book is full of gut wrenching ideas and religious dogma and it is not clear if she is saying this is good or bad much of the time, but it definitely feels very bad in my body. Hate stirring. Do not recommend for general consumption. She seems completely obsessed with punishment and how to do it better? This book has made me very sad for humanity. It is not helpful or hopeful, and just goes on and on about how to punish children into being good punishers of themselves? This book has turned my perception of pedagogy very dark and left me feeling very grateful for all the neglect I was gifted in my childhood. I was labeled gifted and still feel punished for it most days...as agonizing is it is to feel freewilled in our modern domesticated society, I am very grateful to be me. ...is she actually saying we should use corpses to teach children about human sexuality?!? HOW is this woman considered an expert? I guess if breaking wills and propagating shame and abuse is your thing... She does this with an air of shame and blame towards those who shame and blame which I don't quite understand. I do find the argument that poisonous pedagody might create characters like Hitler to be sound and easy to follow, though not a knew idea for me.
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- Sylvie
- 06-01-22
Disappointing
This book came highly recommended but sadly I was highly disappointed. The reader was inappropriately robotic, which I felt made the content much less interesting and hard to follow. Very surprising that she was chosen for such an important and profoundly emotional subject. In addition, I thought that overall the content had no real storyline and was choppy in terms of topics covered, ie, no rhyme or reason for the way it was organized. I was looking forward to listening to this book and wish I could have been more positive.
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