How Not to Kill Yourself
A Portrait of the Suicidal Mind
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Narrated by:
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Clancy Martin
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By:
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Clancy Martin
About this listen
- 2023 Short-listed - Kiriyama Prize for Nonfiction
An intimate, insightful, at times even humorous exploration of why the thought of death is so compulsive for some while demonstrating that there’s always another solution—from the acclaimed writer and professor of philosophy, based on his viral essay, “I’m Still Here.”
“If you’re going to write a book about suicide, you have to be willing to say the true things, the scary things, the humiliating things. Because everybody who is being honest with themselves knows at least a little bit about the subject. If you lie or if you fudge, the reader will know.”
The last time Clancy Martin tried to kill himself was in his basement with a dog leash. It was one of over ten attempts throughout the course of his life. But he didn’t die, and like many who consider taking their own lives, he hid the attempt from his wife, family, coworkers, and students, slipping back into his daily life with a hoarse voice, a raw neck, and series of vague explanations.
In How Not to Kill Yourself, Martin chronicles his multiple suicide attempts in an intimate depiction of the mindset of someone obsessed with self-destruction. He argues that, for the vast majority of suicides, an attempt does not just come out of the blue, nor is it merely a violent reaction to a particular crisis or failure, but is the culmination of a host of long-standing issues. He also looks at the thinking of a number of great writers who have attempted suicide and detailed their experiences (such as David Foster Wallace, Yiyun Li, Akutagawa, Nelly Arcan, and others), at what the history of philosophy has to say both for and against suicide, and at the experiences of those who have reached out to him across the years to share their own struggles.
The result combines memoir with critical inquiry to powerfully give voice to what for many has long been incomprehensible, while showing those presently grappling with suicidal thoughts that they are not alone, and that the desire to kill oneself—like other self-destructive desires—is almost always temporary and avoidable.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of resources and tools for crisis from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Clancy Martin (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
- *A Finalist for the Kirkus Prize for Nonfiction*
- A New York Times Book Review Editor’s Choice
- One of the New York Times’ 9 New Books We Recommend This Week
- A Publisher’s Weekly Book of the Week
- One of The Millions’ Most Anticipated Books of the Year
- One of Lit Hub’s Most Anticipated Books of the Year
“Sui generis . . . a blunt and bracing read . . . as cogent and (yes) rational an account of the mind existing in the shadow of its own self-destruction as I have read . . . For all [Martin’s] focus on suicidal trauma, he is, most fundamentally, trying to write his way out from under it, to create a book not of death but of life.” —David Ulin, The Atlantic
“I can see [this book] becoming a rock for people who’ve been troubled by suicidal ideation, or have someone in their lives who is, and want to understand the mentality, which can seem utterly mystifying to the unafflicted. Swirling with anguish and argument, tempered by practicality, it airs an often taboo topic with the authority of someone writing what he knows — all too gruesomely well.” —The New York Times
“Idiosyncratic, beautiful, and studded with caveats: sometimes this trick won’t work, Martin concedes, and sometimes this other one won’t, either. Even he doesn’t always follow his own advice. It’s an admission of sorts—that so much great literature can be read, that so much work can be done, but that another day to survive is always approaching. The work of choosing to not kill yourself isn’t the act of making that choice one time but making it over and over again.” —The New Yorker
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Why do we think, feel, and act in ways we wish we did not? For decades, New York Times best-selling author Dr. David A. Kessler has studied this question with regard to tobacco, food, and drugs. Over the course of these investigations, he identified one underlying mechanism common to a broad range of human suffering. This phenomenon - capture - is the process by which our attention is hijacked and our brains commandeered by forces outside our control.
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Confused
- By TS on 05-17-16
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Growing Yourself Back Up
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- Unabridged
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We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general listener, best-selling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.
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A Must Read for All Human Beings
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
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The Art of War
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The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
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By: Sun Tzu
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The Secret History of Christmas
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- Original Recording
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Christmas is the single biggest annual event on the planet, a time for merry-making, over-indulgence, peace, goodwill, and the occasional family row. It’s as comfortable and familiar as a pair of old shoes and yet still glittery and exciting. But what do you really know about it? It’s stuffed full of traditions and rituals that most of us have been observing all our lives without having the slightest idea of where they come from.
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Fascinating and Entertaining
- By Laura Carrington on 11-23-22
By: Bill Bryson
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The Daily Stoic
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- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Story
Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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Enlightening story & a must read
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By: Ben Austen
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The Mastery of Self
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
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In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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A Gripping and Necessary Work
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Ho Tactics
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Overall
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
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The Philosopher's Toolkit: How to Be the Most Rational Person in Any Room
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Taught by award-winning Professor Patrick Grim of the State University of New York at Stony Brook, The Philosopher’s Toolkit: How to Be the Most Rational Person in Any Room arms you against the perils of bad thinking and supplies you with an arsenal of strategies to help you be more creative, logical, inventive, realistic, and rational in all aspects of your daily life.
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This should NOT be an audio book
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
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When It Is Darkest
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Not quite what I expected
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The first major book in a quarter century on suicide—and its terrible pull on the young in particular—Night Falls Fast is tragically timely: suicide has become one of the most common killers of Americans between the ages of fifteen and forty-five.
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THIS BOOK!
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An examination of how suicide prevention efforts largely fail due to the mistaken assumption that greater mental health awareness is the key to saving lives.
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Love the objectivity in writing style
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This is a book for people who are struggling to find their way out of a cave of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts - and for anyone who cares for someone who's been lost in that cave.
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A must read for those struggling with mental illness and their families.
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I enjoyed this experience
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A scientist reviewer
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Stay
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Informative but oddly dispassionate
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Dr. Arline T. Geronimus coined the term “weathering” to describe the effects of systemic oppression—including racism and classism—on the body. In Weathering, based on more than 30 years of research, she argues that health and aging have more to do with how society treats us than how well we take care of ourselves. She explains what happens to human bodies as they attempt to withstand and overcome the challenges and insults that society leverages at them, and details how this process ravages their health. And she proposes solutions.
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Chapter 3 was excellent
- By Karen Koch on 04-12-23
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Managing Suicidal Risk
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CAMS provides proven tools to help clinicians of any orientation evaluate suicidal risk and develop a suicide-focused treatment plan. In addition to their clinical utility, the procedures used for assessment, stabilization, and treatment of suicidal risk within CAMS can help reduce the risk of malpractice liability. The third edition features major updates based on ongoing clinical research, increased focus on implementation with adolescents; and guidance for effectively using CAMS via telehealth.
By: David A. Jobes PhD ABPP, and others
What listeners say about How Not to Kill Yourself
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lisa Petty
- 05-25-24
Research!
Great book with unmatched research into a complex subject with beautiful understanding. Highly recommend this book to anyone who had been touched by suicide, but especially for those who have had thoughts all their life. You are not alone.
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- Katrina
- 04-15-23
Trigger warnings
I struggle as the author did/does and found the book validating me as a human. He spoke my language and knew how human he is. I appreciate his sharing - often explicit, but if it had been sugar coated, he would have lost me.
I am inspired to stay alive.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Rebecca Huelskamp
- 09-07-24
Very helpful
After losing a brother to suicide this book helped me understand the mind of someone who struggles with those type of thoughts. I've been able to process my loss more ever since I read it. Very helpful!
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- M. Miller
- 04-03-23
Affirming
Professional but plainspoken, solipsism through a crystal-clear prism - too phony? reductive? Yes, yes. But I liked that I didn’t always like the work or him. That’s how I knew that I was in the hands of someone sincere. God bless those around the author… for reasons you can read about in the text.
Some readers less into may receive this heavy material more favorably or generously hearing it read aloud. He does good rueful laugh and laconic delivery.
Anyone with life experience in this subject should give this text a chance (and give life itself another shot, if in that subcohort).
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jay R
- 09-12-24
He gets me.
I have never read a book that made so much sense to me. This helped me understand myself and my tendencies in a beautiful way
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- Katy Sanderson
- 06-12-24
For non-suicidal minds
This is a great tool to understand for people who are trying to understand the suicidal mind.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-03-23
Execeptional
This is a very good book. Heed not fragile, fashionable language about trigger warnings and so forth. This is a book for people interested in getting past fragility and taboos to find real wisdom. I deal with suicidality every day in my work, and this is the first book I’ve read in a very long time that really moves the ball forward. The writing is first-rate; can’t recommend highly enough.
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- Steven C. Gauntt
- 12-21-24
Pen over pistol
Pen over pistol
May the author continue to choose the pen over the pistol, as clearly he has a gift and a contribution to make to the world. Clancy Martin touches a sensitive topic with grace, graciousness, and even a keen and compassionate sense of humor. That the work is narrated by the author himself makes the experience especially poignant. Candid, clear, profound. Bravo!
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- Ashley jackson
- 06-25-23
Excellent.
Difficult topic that is refreshingly approached with blunt honesty and real self reflection. I enjoyed this book more than any book I’ve read in the last year.
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- Doug Breault
- 09-18-23
Really fantastic
The tone of the book is on point- direct and funny, open and transparent. I appreciate the different perspectives and approaches to the topic, and is really helpful for those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
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