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How to Survive a Unicorn
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
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Publisher's summary
Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you.
Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong.
Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them and who has befriended a bunch of them. Whether it's krakens, vampires, or werewolves, this book has all the information you need to ensure your survival.
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- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Loved it!
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Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
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L.G. Estrella did it again
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Sound Editing Needed
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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Loved it!
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
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I loved it!
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The Last Stand of Mary Good Crow
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Hungry darkness, haunted guns, tunnels that move like snakes—the crystal mines of Medicine Rocks, Montana, are a place only the bravest and greediest dare. Discovered in 1866, the miraculous rock known as crystal quickly rose to become the most expensive substance on the planet, driving thousands to break the treaties and invade the sacred buffalo lands of the Sioux. But mining crystal risks more than an arrow in the chest. The beautiful rock has a voice of its own. A voice that twists minds and calls unnatural powers. A voice that turns men into monsters.
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What a great story!
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The Eerie Adventures of the Lycanthrope Robinson Crusoe
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Robinson Crusoe is one of the most enduring adventures of the past four centuries and one of the most well-known works in the English language. Or is it? Recently discovered amidst the papers of the 20th-century writer and historian H. P. Lovecraft is what claims to be the true story of Robinson Crusoe. Taken from the castaway's own journals and memoirs, and fact-checked by Lovecraft himself, it is free from many of Defoe's edits and alterations. From Lovecraft's work a much smoother, simpler tale emerges - but also a far more disturbing one.
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95% verbatim Robinson Crusoe
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The Rules of Supervillainy
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Gary Karkofsky is an ordinary guy with an ordinary life living in an extraordinary world. Supervillains, heroes, and monsters are a common part of the world he inhabits. Yet, after the death of his hometown's resident superhero, he gains the amazing gift of the late champion's magical cloak. Deciding he prefers to be rich rather than good, Gary embarks on a career as Merciless: The Supervillain Without Mercy. But is he evil enough to be a villain in America's most crime-ridden city?
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Use My Powers for Wha???
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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I wish I could chain Drew to a desk and make him write for me 24/7... j/k... kind of...
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Intergalactic Exterminators, Inc.
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Performance
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Story
When Russ Wesley finds an unusual artifact in his grandfather’s collection of rare antiquities, the last thing he expects is for it to draw the attention of a ferocious alien from a distant planet. Equally surprising is the adventurous team of intergalactic exterminators dispatched to deal with the alien threat. They’re a little wild, and a little reckless. Worse yet, they’re so impressed with Russ’s marksmanship that they insist he join their squad . . . whether he wants to or not.
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Meh
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Dragon Heist
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Birdie Binkowitz is just a little bitter. As a young actress, she was the toast of Hollywood, definitely destined for greatness. Then the dragons had to rise up from their thousand-year slumber, take over Earth and ruin everything. Twenty years later, Birdie is living her worst life in her hometown of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, working at her father's Seed and Feed (and Bagels). Then, a mysterious dragon appears in front of the store seeking her help. He’s got a bone to pick with his fellow dragons–and he wants to hit them where it hurts.
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Just finished my second listen
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Save State Hero
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Have you ever woken up, rolled over, and thought to yourself, “I’m pretty sure I’m working for a Super Villain.” If you haven’t, then maybe you’re not the type of person to work for a global corporation. Edmund, however, is just such an individual. He works for Legion: a corporation of unimaginable reach that he barely understands, a corporation that seems determined to put itself smack dab in the middle of a brewing civil war between Super Heroes and Super Villains.
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Performance was great. Protag was not.
- By Kiyu on 06-14-23
By: William D. Arand
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Oathbound Healer
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Story
Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand system governing classes, skills, and magic. Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.
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Reincarnation,- Common Sense from that Prior Life
- By Ryan on 05-28-21
By: Selkie Myth
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Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
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Story
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
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This whole city is a butt that farts horror.
- By Claudia H on 03-03-16
By: David Wong, and others
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
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- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Never Die Twice
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- Unabridged
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Walter Tye is the best friend any adventurer needs. He is the smiling shopkeeper next to your local dungeon, the one who sells you these cheap healing potions. When you need information, Tye always knows. He wants to help; you can trust him. He is also the undead necromancer ruling said dungeon, getting paid to solve problems that he caused in the first place. But don't tell anyone that.
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Not a Dungeon Management
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By: Maxime J. Durand, and others
What listeners say about How to Survive a Unicorn
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Hiep
- 06-01-24
It’s different
It like listening to 1 guy talking about his life experience, we can connect the dots to know the main character. Very detailed about fantasy creatures. A lot of humor which I enjoy most. Narrator is so passionate, he makes the book more interesting.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Alicia Long
- 02-11-24
Not your “standard” L.G. Estrella book, but I’m loving it!
Warning! This is different from the author’s other works. I’m loving it, but it’s not a standard story. It’s short vignettes and instructions from a hero who has survived lots of fearsome monsters. There is a story thread woven through, but it’s not on the surface. The narrator’s great, but it might not be the right listen for you. Give the sample a listen to test it out before you buy it,
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- SammiG
- 02-19-24
It’s an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. Not a story
For what it is….. it’s fine. However I was expecting a story not an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. The explanations are humorous. I really like this author’s work but frustrated that the explanation of the book was so vague as to what this book really was.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Victor J Walsh
- 02-11-24
Mr Estrella can write anything and I will read it and love it
An interesting tale in his wonderful world. A completely different take than the usual and very appreciated
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- Koeeoaddi
- 03-05-24
Loved it loved it loved it!
What a wonderful book and as usual, the narrator was fantastic. I’m going to replay it now!
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-26-24
A Lot of Fun for Old and New Fans of L. G. Estrella Alike
Very enjoyable in its own right, but also full of fun Easter eggs for fans of the author’s other works. I was particularly happy to hear about the Unconventional Heroes’ Spot’s ultimate destiny.
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- Merrilee Yocum
- 04-30-24
Nothing like her other works and not in a good way
Lete be clear. I LOVE every other L.G. Estrella book! This book is a man talking about magical creatures like some old western cowboy describing all the dangers in the West. The narration is a bit flat and the book seems fairly repetitive so it really drags on. made it half way through before calling it. I'm hoping it's a binder so she can join all of her "worlds" together. Any other book by her is top tier excitement and adventure strung along with witty humor and well developed characters
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1 person found this helpful
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- Heather V
- 02-18-24
I really tried with this...
First of all I am a massive fan of the author. I love the Unconventional Hero's & Attempted Vampirism Series a TON!
But this...
Well, I really tried to make it past chapter 3 and just couldn't; the 3 chapters discussing unicorns and virgins vs. non-virgins and all that was just too much. I felt it was super cringey. I was really looking forward to the book :( but I guess every author has 1 that is unique and not for everyone.
I encourage all to at least give the sample a listen and see if it is your cup of tea, and if it isn't, you should check out his other stuff; it's head and shoulders above!
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- SophAnn
- 02-09-24
Not worth it
I have historically liked LG Estrella’s writing, but this book doesn’t compare to the other books
There’s no story, it is a “how to book”. Essentially, unless you are a virgin or carrying a cute wild creature you’re going to die painfully.
I couldn’t get past chapter 3.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Zero Calvin
- 02-15-24
Why?
I thought this would at least be funny or interesting to make up for the lack of story, but it wasn't. It was super redundant and simplistic. Please read anything else by this author and you will love it, but for the love of God, don't waste your money on this turd.
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