
I Feel Love
MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $23.99
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jennifer Cole
-
By:
-
Rachel Nuwer
About this listen
Bloomsbury presents I Feel Love by Rachel Nuwer, read by Jennifer Cole.
"Riveting."—Bessel van der Kolk, MD, author of The Body Keeps the Score
The unlikely story of how the psychedelic drug MDMA emerged from the shadows to the forefront of a medical revolution—and the potential it may hold to help us thrive.
Few drugs in history have generated as much controversy as MDMA—or held as much promise. Once vilified as a Schedule I substance that would supposedly eat holes in users’ brains, MDMA (also known as Molly or Ecstasy) is now being hailed as a therapeutic agent that could transform the field of mental health and outpace psilocybin and ketamine as the first psychedelic approved for widespread clinical use. In I Feel Love, science journalist Rachel Nuwer separates fact from fantasy, hope from hype, in the drug’s contested history and still-evolving future. Evidence from scientific trials suggests MDMA, properly administered, can be startlingly effective at relieving the effects of trauma. Results from other studies point to its usefulness for individual and couples therapy; for treating depression, alcohol addiction, and eating disorders; and for cultivating personal growth. Yet scientists are still racing to discover how MDMA achieves these outcomes, a mystery that is taking them into the inner recesses of the brain and the deep history of evolution. With its power to dismantle psychological defenses and induce feelings of empathy, self-compassion, and love, MDMA may answer profound questions about how we became human, and how to heal our broken social bonds.
From cutting-edge labs to pulsing club floors to the intimacy of the therapist’s couch, Nuwer guides listeners through a cultural and scientific upheaval that is rewriting our understanding of our brains, our selves, and the space between.
Please note: this recording has been updated to correct some mispronunciations of chemical names.
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Listening to Ecstasy
- The Transformative Power of MDMA
- By: Charles Wininger
- Narrated by: Charles Wininger
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world that keeps us separate from each other, MDMA is the chemical of connection. Aptly known in popular culture as “Ecstasy,” MDMA helps us rediscover our own true loving nature, often obscured by the traumas of life. On its way to becoming a prescription medication due to groundbreaking research on its use to treat PTSD, Ecstasy can offer benefits for all adult life stages, from 20-somethings to seniors.
-
-
got boring
- By matt matthew matchuu on 09-13-22
By: Charles Wininger
-
Going Infinite
- The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Michael Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side?
-
-
really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
-
Elon Musk
- By: Walter Isaacson
- Narrated by: Jeremy Bobb, Walter Isaacson
- Length: 20 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Elon Musk was a kid in South Africa, he was regularly beaten by bullies. One day a group pushed him down some concrete steps and kicked him until his face was a swollen ball of flesh. He was in the hospital for a week. But the physical scars were minor compared to the emotional ones inflicted by his father, an engineer, rogue, and charismatic fantasist.
-
-
megalomania on display
- By JP on 09-12-23
By: Walter Isaacson
-
A Dose of Hope
- A Story of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy
- By: Dr. Dan Engle, Alex Young
- Narrated by: Dr. Dan Engle, Jen Jayden, Scott Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD is in the final stages of FDA testing. Clinical trials are reporting a 70 percent cure rate for a condition that claims thousands of lives globally every day—hundreds in the US alone. But until it’s fully legalized, MDMA is still a Schedule I drug, saddled with years of misunderstanding, misinformation, and misuse. In this groundbreaking, informative, and easy-to-digest book, Dr. Dan Engle shows you the treatment through the eyes of a fictional patient so you can see how it works without ever setting foot in a doctor’s office.
-
-
Wow
- By Amazon Customer on 01-17-25
By: Dr. Dan Engle, and others
-
PIHKAL
- A Chemical Love Story
- By: Alexander Shulgin, Ann Shulgin
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders, Petrea Burchard
- Length: 22 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Alexander (better known as “Sasha”) and Ann Shulgin’s PiHKAL: A Chemical Love Story has become a foundational work in the genre and was the first book to fully impart the how-to chemistry, and convey the effects, of many of the entheogenic drugs that are currently being studied and used to heal trauma and deal with death.
-
-
Very Insightful
- By Stefan Jernberg on 01-09-22
By: Alexander Shulgin, and others
-
Good Chemistry
- The Science of Connection, from Soul to Psychedelics
- By: Julie Holland
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We can find oneness in meditation, in community, or in awe at the beauty around us. Another option: psychedelic medicines that can catalyze a connection with the self, with nature, or the cosmos. Good Chemistry points us on the right path to forging true and deeper attachments with our own souls, to one another, and even to our planet, helping us heal ourselves and our world.
-
-
Not much new here
- By Suz on 06-24-20
By: Julie Holland
-
Listening to Ecstasy
- The Transformative Power of MDMA
- By: Charles Wininger
- Narrated by: Charles Wininger
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world that keeps us separate from each other, MDMA is the chemical of connection. Aptly known in popular culture as “Ecstasy,” MDMA helps us rediscover our own true loving nature, often obscured by the traumas of life. On its way to becoming a prescription medication due to groundbreaking research on its use to treat PTSD, Ecstasy can offer benefits for all adult life stages, from 20-somethings to seniors.
-
-
got boring
- By matt matthew matchuu on 09-13-22
By: Charles Wininger
-
Going Infinite
- The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Michael Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side?
-
-
really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
-
Elon Musk
- By: Walter Isaacson
- Narrated by: Jeremy Bobb, Walter Isaacson
- Length: 20 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Elon Musk was a kid in South Africa, he was regularly beaten by bullies. One day a group pushed him down some concrete steps and kicked him until his face was a swollen ball of flesh. He was in the hospital for a week. But the physical scars were minor compared to the emotional ones inflicted by his father, an engineer, rogue, and charismatic fantasist.
-
-
megalomania on display
- By JP on 09-12-23
By: Walter Isaacson
-
A Dose of Hope
- A Story of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy
- By: Dr. Dan Engle, Alex Young
- Narrated by: Dr. Dan Engle, Jen Jayden, Scott Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD is in the final stages of FDA testing. Clinical trials are reporting a 70 percent cure rate for a condition that claims thousands of lives globally every day—hundreds in the US alone. But until it’s fully legalized, MDMA is still a Schedule I drug, saddled with years of misunderstanding, misinformation, and misuse. In this groundbreaking, informative, and easy-to-digest book, Dr. Dan Engle shows you the treatment through the eyes of a fictional patient so you can see how it works without ever setting foot in a doctor’s office.
-
-
Wow
- By Amazon Customer on 01-17-25
By: Dr. Dan Engle, and others
-
PIHKAL
- A Chemical Love Story
- By: Alexander Shulgin, Ann Shulgin
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders, Petrea Burchard
- Length: 22 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Alexander (better known as “Sasha”) and Ann Shulgin’s PiHKAL: A Chemical Love Story has become a foundational work in the genre and was the first book to fully impart the how-to chemistry, and convey the effects, of many of the entheogenic drugs that are currently being studied and used to heal trauma and deal with death.
-
-
Very Insightful
- By Stefan Jernberg on 01-09-22
By: Alexander Shulgin, and others
-
Good Chemistry
- The Science of Connection, from Soul to Psychedelics
- By: Julie Holland
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We can find oneness in meditation, in community, or in awe at the beauty around us. Another option: psychedelic medicines that can catalyze a connection with the self, with nature, or the cosmos. Good Chemistry points us on the right path to forging true and deeper attachments with our own souls, to one another, and even to our planet, helping us heal ourselves and our world.
-
-
Not much new here
- By Suz on 06-24-20
By: Julie Holland
-
Drug Use for Grown-Ups
- Chasing Liberty in the Land of Fear
- By: Dr. Carl L. Hart
- Narrated by: Dr. Carl L. Hart
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Drug Use for Grown-Ups, he draws on decades of research and his own personal experience to argue definitively that the criminalization and demonization of drug use - not drugs themselves - have been a tremendous scourge on America, not least in reinforcing this country's enduring structural racism. Dr. Hart did not always have this view. He came of age in one of Miami's most troubled neighborhoods at a time when many ills were being laid at the door of crack cocaine. His initial work as a researcher was aimed at proving that drug use caused bad outcomes.
-
-
Dr Carl Hart should be our drug Czar
- By Steven Todd Gordon on 01-19-21
By: Dr. Carl L. Hart
-
LSD and the Mind of the Universe
- Diamonds from Heaven
- By: Christopher M. Bache, Ervin Laszlo - foreword
- Narrated by: Christopher M. Bache
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Journey alongside professor Bache as he touches the living intelligence of our universe - an intelligence that both embraced and crushed him - and demonstrates how direct experience of the divine can change your perspective on core issues in philosophy and religion. Chronicling his 73 sessions, the author reveals the spiral of death and rebirth that took him through the collective unconscious into the creative intelligence of the universe.
-
-
Profound! Stands Among the Best of All of Time
- By Curtis Barnhart on 03-20-20
By: Christopher M. Bache, and others
-
Hitler
- A Biography
- By: Ian Kershaw
- Narrated by: Alan Robertson
- Length: 46 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hailed as the most compelling biography of the German dictator yet written, Ian Kershaw's Hitler brings us closer than ever before to the heart of its subject's immense darkness. From his illegitimate birth in a small Austrian village to his fiery death in a bunker under the Reich chancellery in Berlin, Adolf Hitler left a murky trail, strewn with contradictory tales and overgrown with self-created myths. One truth prevails: the sheer scale of the evils that he unleashed on the world has made him a demonic figure without equal in the 20th century.
-
-
An Excellent Read
- By Rodney on 09-19-13
By: Ian Kershaw
-
Psychedelic Medicine
- The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca
- By: Dr. Richard Louis Miller
- Narrated by: Andy Rick
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Embracing the revival of psychedelic research and the discovery of new therapeutic uses, clinical psychologist Dr. Richard Louis Miller discusses what is happening today in psychedelic medicine - and what will happen in the future - with top researchers and thinkers in this field. Dr. Miller and his contributors cover the tumultuous history of early psychedelic research brought to a halt 50 years ago by the US government as well as offering non-technical summaries of the most recent studies with MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ayahuasca.
-
-
Transcribed interviews, read out loud...
- By Lota on 11-20-19
-
The Psychedelic Handbook
- A Practical Guide to Psilocybin, LSD, Ketamine, MDMA, and Ayahuasca
- By: Rick Strassman MD
- Narrated by: Lee Goettl
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Entering the world of psychedelic drugs can be challenging, and many aren't sure where to start. As research continues to expand and legalization looms on the horizon for psychedelics like psilocybin, you may need a guide to navigate what psychedelics are, how they work, and their potential benefits and risks. The Psychedelic Handbook is a manual that is accessible to anyone with an interest in these substances. Packed with information on psilocybin, LSD, DMT/ayahuasca, mescaline/peyote, ketamine, MDMA, and more.
-
-
Great intro to what these substances are.
- By Sean on 05-11-24
-
The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide
- Safe, Therapeutic, and Sacred Journeys
- By: James Fadiman PhD
- Narrated by: Ross Douglas
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Called “America’s wisest and most respected authority on psychedelics and their use,” James Fadiman has been involved with psychedelic research since the 1960s. In this guide to the immediate and long-term effects of psychedelic use for spiritual (high dose), therapeutic (moderate dose), and problem-solving (low dose and microdose) purposes, Fadiman outlines best practices for safe, sacred entheogenic voyages learned through his more than 40 years of experience.
-
-
Psychotherapist: ketamine trained.
- By Sean on 09-16-22
-
The Body
- A Guide for Occupants
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: Bill Bryson
- Length: 14 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bill Bryson once again proves himself to be an incomparable companion as he guides us through the human body - how it functions, its remarkable ability to heal itself, and (unfortunately) the ways it can fail. Full of extraordinary facts (your body made a million red blood cells since you started reading this) and irresistible Bryson-esque anecdotes, The Body will lead you to a deeper understanding of the miracle that is life in general and you in particular. As Bill Bryson writes, "We pass our existence within this wobble of flesh and yet take it almost entirely for granted."
-
-
Must Read for the Sheer Fun of It
- By J.B. on 10-16-19
By: Bill Bryson
-
Giants, Fallen Angels, and the Return of the Nephilim: Ancient Secrets to Prepare for the Coming Days
- By: Dennis Lindsay
- Narrated by: Lee Alan
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Giants, Fallen Angels and the Return of the Nephilim discusses Biblical prophecies of giants on the Earth, the Last Days demonic plot of engineering genetic hybrids, and what all of it has to do with Israel and the Middle East. In this audiobook, you will receive answers to these questions and more.
-
-
Fascinating book!
- By Dennis on 12-13-19
By: Dennis Lindsay
-
The Dillinger Days
- By: John Toland
- Narrated by: Grover Gardner
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For 13 violent months in the 1930s, John Dillinger and his gang swept through the Midwest. The criminals of the Depression robbed almost at will, as the Indiana State Police had only 41 members, including clerks and typists. Dillinger's daring escapes at Crown Point jail or through the withering machine gun fire of FBI agents at Little Bohemia Lodge, along with his countless bank robberies, excited the imagination of a despondent country.
-
-
Must have been written by Hoover
- By Jimmy Oneal on 09-03-20
By: John Toland
-
The Fellowship of the River
- A Medical Doctor's Exploration into Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine
- By: Joseph Tafur MD
- Narrated by: Joseph Tafur, Luis Robledo
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Western medicine has not been particularly successful at getting people relief from conditions like depression, chronic pain, migraine headaches, addiction, and PTSD. Dr. Tafur helps us to understand why. Too often, the Western medical approach fails to address the emotional dimension of illness. This is where traditional plant medicines, with their ability to alter consciousness and open channels of communication to our emotions, offer so much promise.
-
-
Essential knowledge for our times
- By Ksky on 10-17-18
By: Joseph Tafur MD
-
LSD My Problem Child (4th Edition)
- Reflections on Sacred Drugs, Mysticism and Science
- By: Albert Hofmann Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Steven J. Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the story of LSD told by a concerned yet hopeful father, organic chemist Albert Hofmann, PhD. He traces LSD's path from a promising psychiatric research medicine to a recreational drug sparking hysteria and prohibition. In LSD: My Problem Child, we follow Dr. Hofmann's trek across Mexico to discover sacred plants related to LSD, and listen in as he corresponds with other notable figures about his remarkable discovery.
-
-
Riveting story, watered down by an unenthusiastic reader.
- By JMartin1 on 07-01-24
-
Dopamine Nation
- Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence
- By: Dr. Anna Lembke
- Narrated by: Dr. Anna Lembke
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This book is about pleasure. It’s also about pain. Most important, it’s about how to find the delicate balance between the two, and why now more than ever finding balance is essential. We’re living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting....
-
-
Interesting but feels incomplete
- By Chris on 09-02-21
By: Dr. Anna Lembke
What listeners say about I Feel Love
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- acooldad
- 06-17-23
A gospel for MDMA
Balanced, comprehensive and informative content with a hopeful message driven by a clear intent to share the good news . The reader’s mispronunciations slightly impaired the experience.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Ellen Daly
- 01-15-24
Great book but terrible reader
Please consider re-recording this important book. I’m struggling to finish because the reader is so bad. Such good writing and research deserves better
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Christy Cee
- 02-02-24
Hard To Get Past The Terrible Narrator
This book is well researched and the author does a great job of weaving personal stories into the science. As someone who no longer meets the criteria for Complex PTSD since using MDMA in conjunction with therapy, I’m glad that more people will learn about how this medicine can change lives.
The choice of narrator was an unfortunate mistake. She sounds like AI - pausing at awkward moments in almost every sentence, and mispronouncing key words and names. It’s extremely distracting.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jake
- 08-29-24
Loved the history
Well researched and honest view of such a life changing Molecule. Keeps the science upfront and the views honest.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Michael Moffitt
- 04-21-25
Text wonderful. Audio performance not wonderful.
The narrator was among the worst I’ve ever heard on Audible. Mispronunciations of even basic words, non-natural cadence. Really distracting. I love Audible. Of the maybe hundred Audibles I’ve listened to, this is among the very worst. At a minimum, I’ll not again buy from this narrator.
But the text is very well written!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Samuel Spear
- 08-08-23
Eye opening
Wow, I loved this book. it was long but I blew through it in only a few days. It has a really great history of MDMA. additionally, I really appreciate how many diverse situations the author exams MDMA usage across various groups. Well worth a read!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- CJ H.
- 06-12-23
Really amazing book but pronunciation could use some work
Many words or people and things were mid pronounced.this did not detract from the overall listen experience or content but may make it more difficult for people to look up really key researchers, organizations or scientific terms. Wonderful overview of the history, personal experience and science. Adequately discussed the positives and negatives of mdma but spent more time discussing the benefits. That is not a necessarily a bad thing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- kk
- 10-06-23
Please consider re-recording
This well-researched and well-told story deserves a prominent place on the history of psychedelics shelf.
The many mispronunciations of key figures’ names, chemical compounds and ordinary words make this Audible version a poor representation of a fine piece.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Michael Trevor Henry
- 01-06-24
Thoroughly informative. Well Researched and balanced.
How to take a contentious issue and give it an in depth all angles analysis. As a medical practitioner of over 30 years clinical experience, I highly recommend this publication to all with the curiosity to examine the almost invisible psychedelic revolution that is about to fully blossom onto the world scene.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- J
- 07-05-23
Deep Journalism on an Extraordinary Medicine
While the author is clear on their own biases, this work has a deep journalistic tone covering every conceivable aspect of the history and state of MDMA in 2023. This felt substantially more complete than Wininger’s “Listening to Ecstasy” and on par with “How to Change Your Mind”
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!