
If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
About this listen
New York Times best-selling author Jason Pargin’s hilarious and horrifying John Dies at the End series continues with If This Book Exists, You’re in the Wrong Universe.
"Pargin once again delights with scathing social commentary thinly disguised as an outrageous action novel.... This is a feast." (Publishers Weekly)
If the broken neon signs, shuttered storefronts, and sub-standard housing didn’t tip you off, you’ve just wandered into the city of “Undisclosed”. You don’t want to be caught dead here, because odds are you just might find yourself rising from the grave. That hasn’t stopped tourists from visiting to check out the unusual phenomena that hangs around our town like radioactive fallout. Interdimensional parasites feeding on human hosts, paranormal cults worshipping demonic entities, vengeful teenage sorcerers, we’ve got it all.
Did I mention the possessed toy? It’s a plastic football-sized egg that’s supposed to hatch an adorable, colorful stuffed bird when a child “feeds” it through a synchronized smartphone app. What’s actually inside is an otherworldly monstrosity that’s enticing impressionable wayward youth into murdering folks and depositing their body parts inside the egg as if it’s a hungry piggy bank to trigger the end of the world.
That’s where Dave, John, and Amy come in. They face supernatural threats so the rest of us don’t have to—and sometimes even earn a couple of bucks to so do. But between the bloody ritual sacrifices and soul-crushing nightmares, our trio realizes this apocalypse is way above their pay grade.
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Ever come across a situation that simply wasn't right - where someone was getting the dirty end of the stick and you wished you could make things right but didn't know how? Fourteen-year-old Jack knows how. Or rather he's learning how. He's discovering that he has a knack for fixing things. Not bikes or toys or appliances - situations...It all starts when Jack and his best friends, Weezy and Eddie, discover a rotting corpse - the victim of ritual murder - in the fabled New Jersey Pine Barrens. Beside the body is an ancient artifact carved with strange designs.
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Decent Juvenile
- By Douglas Sundseth on 03-13-25
By: F. Paul Wilson
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We Are All Completely Fine
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Harrison is the Monster Detective, a storybook hero. Now he’s in his mid-30s and spends most of his time not sleeping. Stan became a minor celebrity after being partially eaten by cannibals. Barbara is haunted by the messages carved upon her bones. Greta may or may not be a mass-murdering arsonist. And for some reason, Martin never takes off his sunglasses.
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original and unique
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-22-15
By: Daryl Gregory
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The Vanishing Season
- By: Joanna Schaffhausen
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Ellery Hathaway knows a thing or two about serial killers, but not through her police training. She's an officer in sleepy Woodbury, Massachusetts, where a bicycle theft still makes the newspapers. No one there knows she was once victim number 17 in the grisly story of serial killer Francis Michael Coben. The only victim who lived. When three people disappear from her town in three years, all around her birthday - the day she was kidnapped so long ago - Ellery fears someone knows her secret. Someone very dangerous.
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Engaging mystery debut!
- By robbie mcgraw on 06-15-18
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Lost and Found
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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That's the question that has haunted 14-year-old Ezekiel Blast all his life. But he's not a thief, he just has a talent for finding things. Not a superpower - a micropower. Because what good is finding lost bicycles and hair scrunchies, especially when you return them to their owners and everyone thinks you must have stolen them in the first place? If only there were some way to use Ezekiel's micropower for good, to turn a curse into a blessing. His friend Beth thinks there must be, and so does a police detective investigating the disappearance of a little girl.
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Good book from a great Author
- By Jim on 03-30-21
By: Orson Scott Card
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The Creepypasta Collection
- Modern Urban Legends You Can’t Unread
- By: MrCreepyPasta - editor
- Narrated by: Heather Costa, Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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A terrifying, thrilling collection of must-listen horror stories chock-full of nightmarish supernatural beings and the murderously disturbed that are sure to keep you up all night long.
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creepy definitely
- By Danh on 01-16-22
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Drawn
- By: James Hankins
- Narrated by: Gabrielle De Cuir, Paul Boehmer, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In Drawn, a mysterious little boy has begun appearing in the paintings of an artist who can't remember ever actually seeing him. A partially blind, disfigured agoraphobic who suffers crippling panic attacks if he even tries to leave his apartment is forced out by an unseen entity. A lonely widower begins to suffer terrifying nightmares that his long-missing, presumed-dead son is still alive and in mortal danger. A young runaway realizes that a man he thought was his traveling companion is actually his captor...and a predator.
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So Worth a Credit!!!
- By Jan on 07-23-14
By: James Hankins
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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The Last Place You Look
- By: Kristen Lepionka
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Nobody knows what happened to Sarah Cook. The beautiful blonde teenager disappeared 15 years ago, the same night her parents were brutally murdered in their suburban Ohio home. Her boyfriend, Brad Stockton - black and from the wrong side of the tracks - was convicted of the murders and is now on death row. Though he's maintained his innocence all along, the clock is running out. His execution is only weeks away when his devoted sister insists she spied Sarah at an area gas station.
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Alcoholic PI
- By Karwyn on 05-17-18
By: Kristen Lepionka
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When a Stranger Comes to Town
- By: Michael Koryta
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay, Janina Edwards, Fajer Al-Kaisi, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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It's been said that all great literature boils down to one of two stories—a man takes a journey, or a stranger comes to town. While mystery writers have been successfully using both approaches for generations, there's something undeniably alluring in the nature of a stranger: the uninvited guest, the unacquainted neighbor, the fish out of water. In the newest collection of stories by the Mystery Writers of America, each author weaves a fresh tale surrounding the eerie feeling that comes when a stranger enters our midst, featuring stories by prolific mystery writers.
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The narrators are outstanding here.
- By Jennifer Baratta She/Her on 05-16-21
By: Michael Koryta
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Immoral
- By: Brian Freeman
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 13 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In a riveting debut thriller that has drawn comparisons to masters of the genre like Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly, Brian Freeman weaves obsession, sex, and revenge into a story that grips the reader with vivid characters and shocking plot twists from the first minute to the last.
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Intrigue in Minnesota.
- By Byron on 08-25-13
By: Brian Freeman
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Growing Things and Other Stories
- By: Paul Tremblay
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden, Graham Halstead, Cassandra Campbell, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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A chilling collection of psychological suspense and literary horror from the multiple award-winning author of the national best seller The Cabin at the End of the World and A Head Full of Ghosts. A masterful anthology featuring 19 pieces of short fiction, Growing Things and Other Stories is an exciting glimpse into Paul Tremblay’s fantastically fertile imagination.
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Paul Tremblay is totally nuts.
- By Gary & Jay on 07-07-19
By: Paul Tremblay
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Radicals
- By: Nik Korpon
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Isabel Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Original Recording
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Jay Brodsky is an enigma. To his fellow agents at the FBI’s cybercrimes division. To his new partner. Even to himself. For someone whose skills are beyond question, he often seems just on the edge of losing control. He seldom speaks about his family and his personal life, but he seems to be hiding something. And he has an unusual obsession with even the most obscure punk rock. So when a mysterious cyber-terrorist organization begins erasing Americans’ medical debt, Jay must put his personal issues aside to focus on an attack that threatens to destabilize the US economy.
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Punk rock, anarchy, hacking and an FBI investigat
- By col2910 on 11-24-20
By: Nik Korpon
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A tech billionaire wants the building’s secrets for herself. She hires a team to reverse-engineer the overnight construction, but she knows more than she’s letting on.
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Good, old-school horror!
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Video game sales as a whole have continued to grow, now raking in twice as much money per year as the entire film industry, and countless psychologists have turned their attention to the effects gaming has on us: our confidence, our identity, and our personal growth. The Psychology of Zelda applies the latest psychological findings, plus insights from classic psychology theory, to Link, Zelda, Hyrule, and the players who choose to wield the Master Sword.
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Kind of OK until the last chapter
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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Good writing, interesting take, disappointed with ending for me at least
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Great
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Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
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Horrific Dark Fantasy
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In the summer of 1982, eight science fiction films were released within six weeks of one another. E.T., Tron, Star Trek: Wrath of Khan, Conan the Barbarian, Blade Runner, Poltergeist, The Thing, and Mad Max: The Road Warrior changed the careers of some of Hollywood's now biggest names―altering the art of movie-making to this day.
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Andrew Larimer has left his past behind. Rising up the ranks in a New York law firm, and with a heavily pregnant wife, he is settling into a new life far from Kingsport, the town in which he grew up. But when he receives a late-night phone call from an old friend, he has no choice but to return home.
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Am I reading IT or what
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Mongrels
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He was born an outsider, like the rest of his family. Poor yet resilient, he lives in the shadows with his aunt Libby and uncle Darren, folk who stubbornly make their way in a society that does not understand or want them. They are mongrels, mixed blood, neither this nor that. The boy at the center of Mongrels must decide if he belongs on the road with his aunt and uncle or if he fits with the people on the other side of the tracks.
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breathes new life into werewolves in fiction
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
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Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
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Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a vacation. Sure, his life has been average at best, and yeah, he’s never quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Miller Lites in paradise with his girlfriend, Mara, things are starting to look up. Then the sun explodes....
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What a great book.
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A Sunny Place for Shady People
- Stories
- By: Mariana Enriquez, Megan McDowell
- Narrated by: Lee Osorio, Annette Amelia Oliveira, Sol Madariaga, and others
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- Unabridged
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Welcome to Argentina and the fascinating, frightening, fantastical imagination of Mariana Enriquez. In twelve spellbinding new stories, Enriquez writes about ordinary people, especially women, whose lives turn inside out when they encounter terror, the surreal, and the supernatural. A neighborhood nuisanced by ghosts, a family whose faces melt away, a faded hotel haunted by a girl who dissolved in the water tank on the roof, a riverbank populated by birds that used to be women.
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Random but not scary or intriguing
- By Stephanie S on 10-03-24
By: Mariana Enriquez, and others
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Just Ignore Him
- A BBC Two Between the Covers book club pick
- By: Alan Davies
- Narrated by: Alan Davies
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Through even the joyous and innocent memories, the pain of Davies' lifelong grief and profound betrayal is unfiltered, searing and beautifully articulated. Just Ignore Him is not only an autobiography, it is a testament to a survivor's resilience and courage.
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This is my five-star this year
- By Kristofer Jarl on 11-18-20
By: Alan Davies
What listeners say about If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
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- tarik
- 10-24-22
Da Filthy
This is another great book in this series. Well worth the price. Great narration too!
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- FrankLemonjello
- 10-19-22
Back on the Sauce
Another stellar story from Jason Pargin. He’s like a contemporary H.P. Lovecraft, minus the racism. Robert Evans of Behind the Bastards fittingly described Jason’s work as “psychedelic horror”, and I concur. C’mon! Put some weird stuff in your earholes.
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- Pete
- 04-03-23
Just as good as the others
If you want linear easy to follow stories, this isn't for you. He is one of those writers that must think these things up in an altered state.
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- bobby
- 04-06-23
This book is dafilthy
Jason once again knocks it out of the park in the latest installment of the JDATE series I’m already foaming at the mouth for the next one
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-26-23
He don gone and done it again
He don gone and done it again.
I I I I I I I I
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- tyler dempsey
- 05-31-23
I swear this is gold.
this is, yet again, some weird ass shit. I love it. just like the last 3, its just insanity. and I can not get enough of it. can't wait to see if another book comes out. hell, I want more movies.
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- Geffen
- 09-22-23
Moar soy sauce
Or Arby’s sauce if you just. Thank you Jason, I’ve cringed and laughed more throughout this than the combined result of the past five books I’ve read. It’s da filthy.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-26-22
So good, it's Da Filthy!
Jason Pargin knocks it out of the park again. Audible requires fifteen words for a review.
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- Robin J. Bursey
- 10-28-22
this book is dafilthy
balls out awesomeness comedic cosmic craziness. pargin strikes again in this book listen and enjoy
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- Dustin
- 12-02-22
David Wong in true form.
This is Pargin at his best again. I thought the previous book wasn't quite up to snuff, but I loved this one. I still highly recommend listening to all the books in the series, they are all worth reading if you liked any of them.
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