Decent space opera but could have been 2 books with better editing.

Spoiler———

So my only question is why spend the entire first book on how much he wants to be in the navy to then just give up. I get that he had to show some force but the whole murder plot thing was a bit out there to be honest. He had several other characters that they had already set up for help that could have let the second book continue in the navy narrative. That change was just bad as it makes you feel the whole first book was a waist of time. Introducing the blue caps and royals could have been done while he was still in the navy. They could have also used him and promoted him. I was waiting for them to be like ok they don’t have a captain no problem the MC will be the pilot kind of thing. Like it repeats the same bad caption thing for both ships. Then starts to introduce new characters then kills them off. They really didn’t need to be alone as that didn’t add anything to the story. Then you have to add back in new characters after you randomly killed off the fellow cadets or whatever in the ship crash.

Then you create a bunch more issues with the murder for no real reason as it would not make sense in a normal scenario anyone would allow for the higher ups to take control. The constant tension is okay but it gets old. This is a lot like a story about a beer can AI named Skippy. The Ai being all powerful is also a little far fetched as if they would just gift a proprietary AI architecture to a new recruit and just say good luck. Also the bots are way op in so many ways. Why don’t more people have bots then.

The plot holes continue and there wasn’t really anything to cause it the whole two years in one thing was unnecessary. It rushed the story and then all the characters in the dorm were just forgotten. So you have character development that starts then ends. That happens again in the second book. It’s like a new team each book. Other than the AI but ops o yea got rid of a few of them also. The birds is also pretty confusing. Like are they physically birds? Like what or who created ai bird body’s? Just seemed unnecessary. Just say they are AI systems. Also it’s like he’s the first one to have an AI pilot anything. I mean yea his AI is good but that good? Also if they have all the parts to print out a ship including the jump drives why did he have to order one? The constant fixes just seem to make it seem like it’s working when it’s not logical. I hope in the next few books the author sticks to a handful of characters. Developing them into a solid team and gives some direction. Right now he still has not fixed any of his problems. He still has the fat man after him, the navy, and now this other unknown ship and this cooperation he just has to mess with. Also if the planet is in trouble isn’t that what the navy is for? I also don’t quite understand how he can use the black team so much but like also have no problem going against the navy. Anyway yea I just seems like a bunch of plot arch’s started but not really finished. Then just more problems thst continue.

First book could have been easy 2 years at the school fighting the fat man. Discovering what he was doing and partly tracing his actions as much as possible. Then after the whole group graduated they get there first ship time thst like they were going to turns out bad but tbh font give up and make it work. Maybe Jack becomes the captain after an accident then they find the ship stick with the same group of friends from school. They make there way back and Jack is promoted. End of book one.

Book two then focuses on Jake and his friends on his new navy ship that they fix up and he spends som time getting it working to then get sent on missions by the several high ranking officers they already introduced but just forget to mention. Then the princess gets kidnapped by her family or who ever and they find out she’s on the island. Jack then steals the ship to rescue her. He happens to accidentally interrupts the transport on his way to the planet and like they did rescue the princess. They then help him save everyone and it turns out this was a main source of money for the fat man. Close that bad guy down as he is now basically bankrupt in jail and most of his distributors are already arrested.


Book 3 starts with them returning to the planet Ike they did and taking it over and everything but they could have condensed it and had the main battle for the planet already. That all should have been in the 3rd book. The cliffhanger maybe after the main battle and everything or something like he is brought to the royal family or whatever. The diplomatic fight would be impossible at this point based on the backstory. The whole next book could be about the fight to establish his planet. Then he gets some sort of material or whatever from the planet they can use in manufacturing like the cape. This is given to them and they use it to gain another advantage. It saves his life in the next book obviously like the shield did. Also he could have just rolled out the shield at some point thst it makes a difference. Obviously the AI is all powerful and can hack anyone but yea same with other AI related space exploration books. The AI is always OP and just saves the day. The whole ghost story line is also pretty confusing like is he nanotechnology and if so why can’t they control him with the AI? It controls all the other nanotechnology. Just seems strange. Then it like infects and kills off an AI and takes control and then it’s just like okay? Wouldn’t you figure a way to control it if it’s invisible. Like trap it at least. It just bugs me they have all that power and just leave big gaps open all the time.

Also giving Jack super powers now is a bit much but hopefully it will help them. Like sky was his big bad AI and he’s like o I have to leave sky then it’s another AI of course that one’s dead now o wait I get another one and another one and each one is more powerful and what ever it’s just a bit to much. What makes his AI better or stronger my. How are they able to convince the ship AI to just give up everything that shouldn’t be possible. Maybe for a magic beer can named skippy but yea just seems like a convenient out for all problems.

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1 person found this helpful

It reads like a beer comercial

Jack is the best at everything, Everything comes easy to Jack. Everyone constantly tells jack he's awesome. All the pretty girs want to sleep with Jack.
I'm on chapter 10. if I can listen to more and it gets better, I'll update.

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Good YA Sci-Fi story

This was a fun story. It was geared to the YA audience. There was plenty of action. The characters were likeable. The hero always wins. Everything he does turns out right. And the ending had a good cliff hanger. Fun is the optimum wort here.

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absurd even for scfi

written for a 12 year old. Everything he did he was hero worshiped for. The best at everything he did.

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good story, a little wordy. ends on a cliffhanger...

as the title says, it's a good story but it has way too many details. There are lots of plot points that don't go anywhere. There are a lot of things were explained that didn't need to be and a lot of things that needed explanation, but were brushed over. I'd explain more, but I'll need you to sign a bloody nda first...

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it's ok

it's an ok story if you are 9 or 10 years old. the main character is perfect in all he does. so perfect that it makes him seem stuck up. there are no negatives in his persona so it lacks in any kind of realism. as a vetran of hard sci-fi technical and military it's not for me. nothing is explained or gone into in depth.

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Gary Stu strikes again

this is a childish effort with a two dimensional "Gary Stu" protagonist with no personality, no weaknesses, no development, no arc, no humanity, no threats ... every enemy is trivially defeated, every superior admires him, every peer worships him, most enemies befriend him ... boring trite drivel.

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Written like a childrens book.

All of the plot holes and odd decisions by the antagonists could be ignorenif the reader was 10 years old.

Jack uses micro cameras to "win the day" but none of the obvious antagonists have a clue. His AI systems are super intelligent and powerful for no other reason than he is nice to them.
Jack says he "struggles or works hard" but he always succeedes at everything he does.
The bot friends are super old/advanced but no back story is provided and they constantly miss obvious threats.
I lost interest halfway through when it was obviously just Bruce Wayne rescuing Princess Leah story.
There are some aliens but the imagry is so poor in the writing you really have little idea what anything looks like.

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