Mean Baby
A Memoir of Growing Up
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Narrated by:
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Selma Blair
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By:
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Selma Blair
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • Selma Blair has played many roles: Ingenue in Cruel Intentions. Preppy ice queen in Legally Blonde. Muse to Karl Lagerfeld. Advocate for the multiple sclerosis community. But before all of that, Selma was known best as … a mean baby. In a memoir that is as wildly funny as it is emotionally shattering, Blair tells the captivating story of growing up and finding her truth.
"Blair is a rebel, an artist, and it turns out: a writer." —Glennon Doyle, Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller Untamed and Founder of Together Rising
The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention.
Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. She often felt like her arms might be on fire, a sensation not unlike electric shocks, and she secretly drank to escape.
Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, devasting memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is brutal violence, passionate love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood, and, finally, the surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis.
In a voice that is powerfully original, fiercely intelligent, and full of hard-won wisdom, Selma Blair’s Mean Baby is a deeply human memoir and a true literary achievement.
©2022 Knopf (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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Fairyland
- A Memoir of My Father
- By: Alysia Abbott
- Narrated by: Alysia Abbott
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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A beautiful, vibrant memoir about growing up motherless in 1970s and 80s San Francisco with an openly gay father. After his wife dies in a car accident, bisexual writer and activist Steve Abbott moves with his two-year-old daughter to San Francisco. There they discover a city in the midst of revolution, bustling with gay men in search of liberation - few of whom are raising a child. Steve throws himself into San Francisco's vibrant cultural scene.
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Great representation of the time
- By AvidReader22 on 06-07-19
By: Alysia Abbott
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin
- A Memoir
- By: Nicole Hardy
- Narrated by: Nicole Hardy
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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When Nicole Hardy’s eye-opening "Modern Love" column appeared in the New York Times, the response from readers was overwhelming. Hardy’s essay, which exposed the conflict between being true to herself as a woman and remaining true to her Mormon faith, struck a chord with women coast-to-coast. Now in her funny, intimate, and thoughtful memoir, Nicole Hardy explores how she came, at the age of 35, to a crossroads regarding her faith and her identity.
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This Book Spoke to Me
- By Allison on 04-08-14
By: Nicole Hardy
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
- By: Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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All of This
- A Memoir of Death and Desire
- By: Rebecca Woolf
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woolf
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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After years of struggling in a tumultuous marriage, writer Rebecca Woolf was finally ready to leave her husband. Two weeks after telling him she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Four months later, at the age of forty-four, he died. In All of This, Woolf chronicles the months before her husband’s death—and her rebirth after he was gone. With rigorous honesty and incredible awareness, she reflects on the end of her marriage: how her husband’s illness finally gave her the space to make peace with his humanity and her own.
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excellentt!
- By S. DAWN HANSCOM on 11-26-22
By: Rebecca Woolf
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Dear Cary
- My Life with Cary Grant
- By: Dyan Cannon
- Narrated by: Dyan Cannon
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With unparalleled honesty, Dyan Cannon shares the heartwarming and heartbreaking story of her magical romance and stormy marriage to screen legend Cary Grant.He was the ultimate star, defining Hollywood glamour as well as cinematic achievement. She was a bright new actress, beautiful and funny, who would one day prove her talent by being the first woman to receive Academy Award nominations for her work on-screen and behind the camera. When he asked to meet Dyan, she assumed it was for an acting part, but he had a different role in mind for her....
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A Wasted 10 Hours
- By NANCAN on 10-19-12
By: Dyan Cannon
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Hold the shrieking !
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Molly is a superstar!!!
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Had me until the white privileged and cis comments
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nothing new
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Hold the shrieking !
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Reese Witherspoon’s grandmother Dorothea always said a combination of beauty and strength made Southern women “whiskey in a teacup”. We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside, we’re strong and fiery. Reese’s Southern heritage informs her whole life, and she loves sharing the joys of Southern living with practically everyone she meets. She takes the South wherever she goes with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken.
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I loved this Memoir
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In September 1998, Michael J. Fox stunned the world by announcing he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease: a degenerative neurological condition. In fact, he had been secretly fighting it for seven years. The worldwide response was staggering. Fortunately, he had accepted the diagnosis and by the time the public started grieving for him, he had stopped grieving for himself.
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The True Story of Onset Parkinson's - Life Goes On
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In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
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Brooke Shields never had what anyone would consider an ordinary life. She was raised by her Newark-tough single mom, Teri, a woman who loved the world of show business and was often a media sensation all by herself. Brooke's iconic modeling career began by chance when she was only 11 months old, and Teri's skills as both Brooke's mother and her manager were formidable. But in private she was troubled and drank heavily.
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Interesting, but sounds a little entitled at times
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Dirty Daddy
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
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The Chiffon Trenches
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During André Leon Talley’s first magazine job, alongside Andy Warhol at Interview, a fateful meeting with Karl Lagerfeld began a decades-long friendship with the enigmatic, often caustic designer. Propelled into the upper echelons by his knowledge and adoration of fashion, André moved to Paris as bureau chief of John Fairchild’s Women’s Wear Daily, befriending fashion's most important designers (Halston, Yves Saint Laurent, Oscar de la Renta). But as André made friends, he also made enemies.
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Another case of author's narration not working.
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This Will Only Hurt a Little
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Busy Philipps’ autobiographical audiobook offers the same unfiltered and candid storytelling that her Instagram followers have come to know and love, from growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona, and her painful and painfully funny teen years to her life as a working actress, mother, and famous best friend. Busy is the rare entertainer whose impressive arsenal of talents as an actress is equally matched by her storytelling ability, sense of humor, and sharp observations about life, love, and motherhood. Her conversational writing reminds us what we love about her on screens of all sizes.
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I wanted to like it so much...
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Here's the Story
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
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This Time Together
- Laughter and Reflection
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This touching and hilarious memoir is 100 percent Carol Burnett—funny, irreverent, and irresistible.Carol Burnett is one of the most beloved and revered actresses and performers in America. The Carol Burnett Show was seen each week by millions of adoring fans and won twenty-five Emmys in its remarkable eleven-year run.
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Do not listen while driving
- By Robin on 08-12-10
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Down the Drain
- By: Julia Fox
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Julia Fox is famous for many things: her captivating acting, such as her breakout role in the film Uncut Gems; her trendsetting style, including bleached eyebrows, exaggerated eyeshadow, and cutout dresses; her mastery of social media, where she entertains and educates her millions of followers. But all these share the trait for which she is most famous: unabashedly and unapologetically being herself. This commitment to authenticity has never been more on display than in Down the Drain. With writing that is both eloquent and accessible, Fox recounts her turbulent path to cultural supremacy.
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Zero Character Growth.
- By Alisa on 11-27-23
By: Julia Fox
What listeners say about Mean Baby
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mona-Alisa
- 05-22-22
The Brilliance of Selma Blair
I sincerely feel that only Selma’s narration could have done her story justice. Her emotional rawness inhaled and exhaled her truth.
I never cry when listening to audiobooks but having a similar disease to MS; I often burst into tears while listening to Mean Baby. I binged it in a couple of days, and I continue to amass brief crying spells seemingly out of nowhere. When I stop and examine why, it’s not only how hard living with a chronic illness (me, 30+ years) but it’s also many other things. The relationship with her mother is so relatable. My mother is relatively recently deceased as well. And oh god, the overwhelming difficulty and worry of raising children are devastating. Though our children also help us to want to go on. They are the most critical and challenging issues of our lives. Ms. Blair paints a picture of her son and her relationship, and the light it brings is pure and vital to not giving up on life.
Her honesty about the addiction is heartbreaking. I am amazed by how one could cope with both.
Her wit! How I adore her consciousness of knowing when it’s time to hurl an amusing anecdote or make a joke to lighten the load.
Kudos, Selma Blair! You’re an excellent writer. Those who say otherwise don’t have your emotional intelligence.
Thank you so much for advocating for us who live with chronically shitty illnesses. You’re wickedly wonderful!!
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- Marie Elaina Wilke
- 09-23-22
Honest & authentic & a very courageous & strong woman!!!
Wonderfully honest!!! I learned a lot for her honesty & her authenticity! Thank you for sharing your story 😘👍🏽
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- Hannah
- 01-26-23
Love this sexy chick but emo
Love Selma. So freaking much but too much crying that seem slightly insincere… when crying wasn’t necessary at all. Girl is a bit emo.
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- Debra K. Cox
- 06-13-22
Thank You for sharing your story
I had always loved your performances in movies, but as a fellow MS patient, can’t thank you enough for your braveness in sharing your story, documenting your journey and most of all, shining a light on this chronic disease so that people may come to understand the MS community a little better. In Gratitude, and with Love, Debra Cox 🧡
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- C. Shannon
- 06-15-22
Breathtaking
Beautifully written and narrated! I laughed and cried! Thank you so much for putting everything out there to help people. You are a true gem!
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- MH
- 06-15-22
Enjoyed from Cover to cover
Very candid well written memoir. Salma is not only a talented writer but an excellent narrator as well. I’m sure her story will help many. Having the courage to write and then we’re so raw and real cannot be easy, but she did it.
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- Kathy chester
- 06-26-22
So much better then what I expected
Great writing, captivating. A very clear Way of describing multiple sclerosis and how it affects not just the person but those around the patient.
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- Jeanine
- 06-09-22
Enchanting story
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book. I love how Selma has overcome all the challenges in her life, and she sounds amazing reading this book. I was hooked from beginning to end.
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- Christine
- 06-10-22
Wonderful woman, wonderful book…
In a whole new light.… I see this amazing,
resilient, beautiful, flawed and damaged
woman. But even more than all that, it's
her authenticity, which I think reflects
the highest class of person. Also, what a
great writer and storyteller. Just love
her. So highly recommend.
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- emtayto
- 10-08-22
sensational!
this book touched me and spoke to me more than any other book I've listened to, and I'm a book girl!
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