My Take Away Vampire
A Novella with Bite
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Narrated by:
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Persephone Rose
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By:
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Derek Haines
About this listen
A very different vampire story.
Although Agatha Grace is more than 300 years old, it certainly doesn’t mean she can’t adapt and fit into ugly, postindustrial small-town suburbia. Partial to the delights an evening at McDonald’s often serves her, she waits at her favourite dimly lit corner table - for her kind of vampire takeaway.
Being your typical urban vampire, this means her fare isn’t up in bright lights on the menu above the cashiers. However, she usually finds exactly what she is seeking. Her teenage beauty, long, blonde hair, and ice blue eyes are a temptation very few adorable young men can resist.
After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is now afoot for Agatha Grace, however. Redheaded, freckled, and occasionally a little slow on the uptake, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head as he is struck by his first real dose of love at first sight.
Add the overprotective, rhyming ghost of a dead poet, a snarling black wolf, some cops, and Agatha’s preference for the 1980s' fashion of miniskirts, satin halter-neck tops, and knotted white blouses, and things just may go awry, which of course they do.
Along with a couple of untimely and unfortunate deaths and Reggie’s complete misunderstanding of anything going on, the awry becomes a dead certainty.
Enjoy My Take Away Vampire. A very different, tasty little comedy vampire tale, but still with a little bite!
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- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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We're the D'Artigo sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we are savvy - and sexy - operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency. But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times. My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she's stressed. Menolly's a vampire who is still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I'm Camille - a wicked-good witch. Except my magic is as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way.
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Meh.
- By Charlene on 07-02-10
By: Yasmine Galenorn
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A God in the Shed
- A God in the Shed, Book 1
- By: J-F. Dubeau
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The village of Saint-Ferdinand has all the trappings of a quiet life. Though if an out-of-towner stopped in, they would notice one unusual thing - a cemetery far too large and much too full for such a small town, lined with the victims of the Saint-Ferdinand Killer, who has eluded police for nearly two decades. It's not until after Inspector Stephen Crowley finally catches the killer that the town discovers even darker forces are at play.
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So Disappointing
- By NNN on 03-11-18
By: J-F. Dubeau
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Bitten
- The Otherworld Series, Book 1
- By: Kelley Armstrong
- Narrated by: Aasne Vigesaa
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elena Michaels is the world’s only female werewolf. And she’s tired of it. Tired of a life spent hiding and protecting, a life where her most important job is hunting down rogue werewolves. Tired of a world that not only accepts the worst in her–her temper, her violence—but requires it. Worst of all, she realizes she’s growing content with that life, with being that person.
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Definitely written in the 2000s
- By Kathy Kuwano on 07-16-22
By: Kelley Armstrong
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Haunted Nights
- A Horror Writers Association Anthology
- By: Ellen Datlow - editor, Garth Nix, Kelley Armstrong, and others
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Erin Spencer, James Patrick Cronin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Here are 16 chilling, never-before-published tales that explore every aspect of our darkest holiday, Halloween, coedited by Ellen Datlow, one of the most successful and respected genre editors, and Lisa Morton, a leading authority on Halloween. Included are stories about scheming jack-o'-lanterns, vengeful ghosts, otherworldly changelings, disturbingly realistic haunted attractions, masks that cover terrifying faces, murderous urban legends, parties gone bad, cult Halloween movies, and trick-or-treating in the future.
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Slow burn stories
- By Alex Sumner on 03-05-22
By: Ellen Datlow - editor, and others
What listeners say about My Take Away Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Serrin.
- 11-06-20
Very interesting and different
I received a free audiobook in exchange for an honest review. I fairly enjoyed this book. The characters were all funny in their own ways and this story is different from anything I’ve read so far. Kept me interested from beginning to end.
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- Love my audiobook
- 07-21-18
My Take Away Vampire
My take away Vampire wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I think it's more a 'teen' book with a "15 year old" vampire. I'm not sure how many 16 year old virgins are out there, (laughing) This was a vampire I have not accustom to. Not bad but not good. I did enjoy the narrator, Persephone Rose. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for giving me the chance to participate.
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2 people found this helpful
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- B.McGrath
- 06-03-20
bizarrely entertaining
This was different and entertaining. A unique vampire story that I found extremely entertaining and offered loads of laughs . The cemetery was a lively place and the poet ghost was as annoying as he was hilarious. It seemed to end abruptly and I wanted more. I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this and am giving an honest review. The narrator did a great job.
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- Joy
- 09-17-22
Loved It!
Short but entertaining story with a few other creatures that so make an entertaining and completely enjoyable listen. Narrator was a perfect fit.
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- Aaron & Klarissa
- 02-22-24
Even immortals die
This was a story a young woman who did not want to marry the village idiot, and lives for years thanks to the vampire she lives to meet a boy that changed her afterlife.
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- Jesse
- 02-19-24
very weird and quirky characters
had a lot of weird quirky characters. it's a good story. wasn't quite the book for me. I don't know that I would have spent a credit on this had I known, but I would have picked it something I would pick up on sale overall. good book! good narrator
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- Brittany
- 12-14-24
Great story
My take away Vampires by Derek Haines and Persephone Rose did an amazing job on this story. It is entertaining, interesting, humorous, and leaves you on the edge of your seat. There is a lot of supernaturals. I did get the book for free for a honest review.
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- tenisha
- 08-08-18
A Different Take
Agatha Grace has chosen death over the life planned by her parents. Now a vampire she chooses her victims while sitting in the local McDonalds. She chooses Reggie but his obliviousness is funny and she changes her mind about him being a victim. A different take on vampires. Good Narration.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lisa Osborn
- 07-16-18
Loyalisa30
The storyline was underdeveloped and didn’t make much sense. The story started with Agatha’s situation and ended with Derrick’s situation. The details in between were fuzzy. Also, the poet ghost was corny! The family dynamics for Derrick was unbelievable. And the way the gang members communicated with one another by answering F*ck you to every question was ridiculous!!!
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- Michelle Houston
- 03-08-22
Pretty decent novella
Although a short listen/read, the story of Agatha Grace and Reggie is just enough to have you want to follow them for more. No spoilers, just give it a listen. Filled with teen angst in many forms as well as that lusty grip teen life has, the story follows an older vampire who relives her beginnings. A teen boy who has much the same interests as any other boy his age runs into the girl he wants desperately to be his first. Immerse yourself in their world for 2 hours and enjoy.
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