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Narrated by:
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Madeline Ogburn
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By:
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Simon Carr
About this listen
The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.
©2021 Simon Carr (P)2021 Simon CarrListeners also enjoyed...
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Return of the Dwarf King
- Adventures of Finnegan Dragonbender
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- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Stranded and alone in Denver, Colorado, Finn and his partner Penny (a foot and a half long Faerie Dragon) search for friends and allies in this strange new land. But something about this place isn’t right. Magic has gone underground, and has anyone seen John Wayne? Lucky for Finn he’s a Dwarf, and underground is where he does his best work. Join Finn, Penny, and their new friends on an adventure that spans the globe and holds the fate of an entire planet in its twists and turns. And just maybe a tall Dwarf and a small dragon can find their place in the universe.
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Awesome!
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By: Charley Case, and others
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Black Phoenix
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- Unabridged
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Earth’s first colony ship finally reaches the target world. The excitement of planetfall is indescribable, but quickly transforms into sick disappointment when they find the atmosphere is a roiling mass of hydrochloric acid, carbon dioxide, and other deadly poisons. They fly onward, seeking better planets. They find them, but none are ideal. The search goes on for a century, then longer still. As they move farther from Earth, aliens discover the intruding ship, and they begin to investigate humanity. They find our species unacceptable.
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Uggggh
- By JonH on 09-20-19
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Federal Histories Bundle, Books 1-3
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- Unabridged
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The future has amazing technology. Our alien allies have magic. Together, we are building a training system to teach the best of humanity to go to the stars. But the training is monumentally expensive. Stephanie Morgana is a genius, she just doesn't know it. Join her on the first half of her adventure with this collected edition, including the first three megabooks in the Federal Histories series.
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I see why this series/book has low sales.
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Resurrection of the Damned
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In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
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Mechanical Failure
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- Unabridged
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The 200 years' (and counting) peace was a time of tranquility that hasn't been seen since...well, ever. Mankind in the Galactic Age had finally conquered war, so what was left for the military to do but drink and barbecue? That's the kind of military that Sergeant R. Wilson Rogers lived in before he left the fleet to become a smuggler. But it turns out that smuggling is hard. Like getting-arrested-for-dealing-with-pirates-and-forced-back-into-service kind of hard.
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This book helped save my job!
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The Reluctant Adventures of Fletcher Connolly on the Interstellar Railroad
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- Unabridged
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Fletcher Connolly hasn't got a lot to lose. Since he and half the galaxy signed on to the rat race of the technological relics trade, Fletch has come to terms with the idea that he will join the ranks of unlucky explorers that perish light years from home without a dime to his name. But bankruptcy is a great motivator. With friends and family counting on him to strike it rich, Fletch embarks on an unwilling quest for alien treasure.
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I wanted to love this book, but I did like it
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The Very First Damned Thing
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- Unabridged
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Jodi Taylor reads the long-awaited prequel in her Chronicles of St Mary’s series, as Dr Bairstow struggles to set up St Mary’s as we know it in a world still scarred by the ravages of civil war. Ever wondered how it all began? It’s two years since the final victory at the Battersea Barricades. The fighting might be finished, but for Dr Bairstow, just now setting up St Mary's, the struggle is only beginning. How will he assemble his team? From where will his funding come?
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Wait for it on Kindle. Not the best on audio
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The Punch Escrow
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- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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The Cruel Stars
- By: John Birmingham
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The galaxy was once terrorized by the Sturm, a group of “species purists” intent on destroying any human with genetic or cybernetic enhancements. Fashioning themselves as the one true “Human Republic,” the Sturm cut a bloody swath across the stars, killing billions before finally being defeated and driven into the far reaches of Dark Space. Centuries of peace bred complacency. Everyone believed the Sturm had died out in the Dark. They were wrong.
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A barrage of action & comedy 💥🤣
- By Joey De La Torre on 11-01-22
By: John Birmingham
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The Best of Us
- By: Karen Traviss
- Narrated by: Fred Tatasciore
- Length: 18 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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The West has been devastated by epidemics, bio-terrorism, war, and famine. Asia has shut its borders to keep the threats at bay, and some with power and influence have already abandoned Earth. Now an escape route a century in the making - the Nomad mission - finally offers hope to a small town and a secret research centre hidden in a rural American backwater. Shrouded in lies and concealed even from the research centre's staff, Nomad is about to fulfil its long-dead founder's vision of preserving the best of humanity to forge a new future. But who decides who's worthy?
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what the hell? not galaxys edge. total retcon.
- By Ethomas on 12-06-19
By: Karen Traviss
What listeners say about Pie-Eyed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mariel
- 09-30-21
Very cleverly written with hilarious wit.
Pie-eyed (space and stuff)
Written by-Simon Carr
Narrated byMadeline Ogburn
I received a copy of the audiobook and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Local owners and regulars of the Bulls Head pub situated in the Northwest UK, make an amazing discovery – not only do aliens exist but also lizard people live among us ( someone owes David Icke an apology!)
What follows is a hilarious tale, filled with one-liners and cleverly written puns that can't fail to make you laugh. Simon Carr has written a genuinely funny book and while there are many funny books, finding one that stands out is not an easy feat, but Pie-eyed definitely fits the bill. With the author's outrageous sense of humour, you will split your sides and then quote lines of this book repeatedly within your circle of friends.
“ I'm 86! “
Very blunt in places, I can understand that some readers may find it an offensive read due to the colourful language but Simon Carr has created an honest, in-your-face style which is refreshingly original, displaying imaginative and down to earth characters.
I had the honour of not only enjoying the story but also listening to the audio version. Narrated by the talented Madeline Ogburn, she brings the book and personalities to life. Narration is an art and critical to the success of an audiobook, conveying the mood, setting the tone and engaging the audience. The author evidently considered this as is proven with his choice, and in my opinion perfection, crucial to this book.
In conclusion, yes there is adult language, yes there is adult humour but then again the book is aimed for an adult audience.
Is it worth the read? Absolutely!
Do I recommend it? Most definitely!
I rate Pie – eyed 5 out of 5 stars.
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- JT
- 01-14-22
OMG what a great LOL book.
I was totally amused from the opening words of this book. It was like alien alcoholics and earthlings having over the top interactions. I laughed so hard that I had pause the book in several places. I am not generally a person who enjoys such off beat books but I am grateful to say that I will keep this in my library for fun and in honest as a reminder how crazy my world gets if I choose the addition of chemicals to my body. I wish I could share this book in my 12 step meeting. The levity of this story is so useful. My suggestion is if you even think you might need a chuckle get this audio book. Madeline Ogburn was awesome as the narrator and the talent evident with Pie-Eyed has me headed to see if I can find more written by Simon Carr. I was given an Audible code for this book. Laughing out loud is healthy and this audio book does it. I am not sure reading print or e-book would provide the same humor as this great audio version of Pie-Eyed brought me.
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- Jennifer C.
- 09-03-22
Hysterical!
For those of you who have read or listened to books by Simon Carr, this book is just as funny and just as good as his other books. In Pie Eyed, we learn that Earth had been visited by aliens in the past. However, the alien, who was a sales person for the UBT, discovered the primitive setting, he set up a call-back visit - which then occurred 500 years later. The majority of this story is that call-back.
As with any sales call, the individuals who are the potential buyers want to get as much as they can out of the seller. However, during the process of the negotiations, they learn quite a bit about their civilization that they had not previously been aware of.
Get ready for a very humorous ride in this sales-call-turned-save-the-world story with cameos from Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth. Can a bunch of drunk Englishmen and women save the world from the Prime Minister and the President of the United States, both of whom are definitely not your typical politicians...unless they are?
As with other Simon Carr novels, I highly recommend listening to the audiobook over reading the book. It's not to say that reading his books is bad. Rather, the experience is just that much better on audio, and I would hate for you to not have the full experience. The narrator for this book, Madeline Ogburn, did a wonderful job. There's even a bit of singing (though I am a bit concerned about whether or not it's enough to trigger copyright laws, though Carr may have gotten permission, which renders the concern null and void.).
So, long story short, make sure you listen to Pie Eyed by Simon Carr. Just don't drink anything while you do so you don't risk liquid coming out of your nose when you start laughing.
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- Laura
- 07-28-22
Uproarious Alien Invasion Story
I enjoyed this story. I laughed out loud. I found this story very entertaining. There were a couple of times where the humor could be termed "bathroom humor" which some might find offensive and there were incidents of foul language, so I would list this as for more mature audiences. Madeline Ogburn's narration was a true delight, and her performance added another layer of entertainment to the tale. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.
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- Nemesis
- 06-30-22
Zac, lizardfolk, & some drunks walk into a bar...
A fun story by Simon Carr. Zac, lizardfolk, and some drunks walk into a bar 100 years later... An interesting story and hilarious as you'd expect. A conspiracy theory turned reality. I look forward to Simon's next book! Audio Version: Madeline Ogburn did a great job narrating this story.
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- bownz
- 05-03-21
Too short
This is a very entertaining story, but it should be longer. The narrator does a very good job and keeps you entertained the whole way through.
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- Nina Diab
- 09-22-23
Fun!
I loved this book. I've listened and loved Simon Carr's audiobooks for Da' Resistance and Bob and the Blob, and continued with this book- Pie-Eyed, and was not disappointed. Another fun and funny alien adventure. I loved the quirky characters and the story made me stop and laugh out loud at times. Alien salesman Zac returns to Earth to follow up on a deal with humanity, but sadly the people he previous interacted with had died- as he returned hundreds of years later. But now shapeshifting lizard aliens secretly in control try and stop the deal from going through, while Zac learns more about humans, and the humans with him are trying to negotiate an even better deal in this save-the-world adventure.
I listened to this audiobook narrated by Madeline Ogburn, who I think did a great job bringing these characters to life. I liked her more than the female narrator for Bob and the Blob, which I'd listened to right before I started this one. There was soothing quality to her voice.
Overall: 5 stars
Performance: 5 stars
Story: 5 stars
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