Ready for Absolutely Nothing
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Susannah Constantine
About this listen
This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her journey as a recovering alcoholic.
The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a "style guru" as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan–then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.
Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in this book from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.
But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.
Ready for Absolutely Nothing is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, listeners of Lady in Waiting, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.
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It's 2014. Sensible Nora has always taken success for granted until suddenly her life begins to fall apart. Troubled by anxiety and nightmares, she finds herself drawn to the sweeping beaches of Tenby, a place she's been only once before. Together with a local girl, she rents a beautiful townhouse and slowly begins to settle in to her new life. But Tenby hides a secret, and Nora will soon discover that this little town by the sea has the power to heal even the most painful memories.
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Buy it!!!!
- By LoveAmazon on 11-12-17
By: Tracy Rees
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The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir
- By: Lesley Allen
- Narrated by: Bríd Brennan
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Biddy Weir is a quirky girl. Abandoned by her mother as a baby, and with a father who's not quite equipped for the challenges of modern parenting, Biddy lives in her own little world, happy to pass her time painting by the sea and watching the birds go by. That is, until she meets Alison Flemming. Because there are a few things about Biddy that aren't normal, you see. And Alison isn't afraid to point them out to the world. All of a sudden, Biddy's quiet life is thrown into turmoil. If only there was someone to convince her that, actually, everyone's a little bit weird....
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The Lonely Life Of Biddy Weir
- By George Criticos on 08-10-20
By: Lesley Allen
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Lady Oracle
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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From fat girl to thin, from red hair to mud brown, from London to Toronto, from Polish count to radical husband - Joan Foster is utterly confused by her life of multiple identities. She decides to escape to an Italian hill town to take stock of her life. But first, she must organize her own death.
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A Feminist Romp
- By annkpowers on 07-02-22
By: Margaret Atwood
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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The Little Princesses
- The Story of the Queen's Childhood by Her Nanny, Marion Crawford
- By: Marion Crawford, Jennie Bond - foreword
- Narrated by: Sophie Roberts
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Originally published in 1950, The Little Princesses was the first account of British Royal life inside Buckingham Palace as revealed by Marion Crawford, who served as governess to princesses Elizabeth and Margaret.
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The Beginnig of My Interest on the Royal Family
- By A. Bauza Higuera on 12-30-22
By: Marion Crawford, and others
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Dear Fatty
- By: Dawn French
- Narrated by: Liza Tarbuck
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Abridged
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With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French shows just how an RAF girl from the west country with dreams of becoming a ballerina/bridesmaid/thief rose to become one of the best-loved comedy actresses of our time.
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If you like Dawn French - You will love this book!
- By Pamela on 01-22-09
By: Dawn French
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A Wild and Precious Life
- A Memoir
- By: Edie Windsor, Joshua Lyon
- Narrated by: Donna Postel, Joshua Lyon
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In this memoir, which she began before passing away in 2017 and completed by her co-writer, Edie recounts her childhood in Philadelphia, her realization that she was a lesbian, and her active social life in Greenwich Village's electrifying underground gay scene during the 1950s. Edie was also one of a select group of trailblazing women in computing, working her way up the ladder at IBM and achieving their highest technical ranking while developing software.
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🏳️🌈 Wow! 🏳️🌈
- By Natalia Zimnoch on 10-15-19
By: Edie Windsor, and others
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City of Girls
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Blair Brown
- Length: 15 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Beloved author Elizabeth Gilbert returns to fiction with a unique love story set in the New York City theater world during the 1940s. Told from the perspective of an older woman as she looks back on her youth with both pleasure and regret (but mostly pleasure), City of Girls explores themes of female sexuality and promiscuity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of true love. In 1940, nineteen-year-old Vivian Morris has just been kicked out of Vassar College, owing to her lackluster freshman-year performance.
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A strong story
- By Anita Kristensen on 06-08-19
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To Love a Prince
- True Blue Royal, Book 1
- By: Rachel Hauck
- Narrated by: Louise Lee
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Daffodil Caron is not a princess, even though she once dreamed of being one. After all, she grew up as a playmate to royal princes, running through the halls of Perrigwynn Palace and dining with the queen. But the day she stumbled upon a royal secret, everything changed. Flash forward 18 years, and Daffy’s living a sweet, non-royal life. A skilled art curator for the Royal Trust, she has friends, a flat in the heart of the city, and a handsome, successful fiancée. The last person on her mind is Gus, a prince she once called her best mate.
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Easy and light hearted
- By Anonymous User on 02-12-21
By: Rachel Hauck
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Maeve's Times
- In Her Own Words
- By: Maeve Binchy
- Narrated by: Kate Binchy
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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From the royal wedding to boring airplane companions, Samuel Beckett to Margaret Thatcher, "senior moments" to life as a waitress, Maeve's Times gives us wonderful insight into a changing Ireland as it celebrates the work of one of our best-loved writers in all its diversity - revealing her characteristic directness, laugh-out-loud humor, and unswerving gaze into the true heart of a matter.
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A GLIMPSE THROUGH MAEVE'S LOOKING GLASS
- By jstrfic on 08-08-17
By: Maeve Binchy
What listeners say about Ready for Absolutely Nothing
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Robin
- 04-28-24
Loved it
I am a big fan of the Royal Family. I was happily enjoying the book and then her connection with RF was an unexpected bonus. The book is wonderful, it was the perfect balance of humor and fact. I think I enjoyed it more not knowing anything about the author, there were a lot of fun surprises for me.
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- Cimtx
- 02-15-23
An arresting read👍🏻👍🏻
This is a wonderful book telling of Susannah’s life journey beginning in the 60’s giving insight to an upper class upbringing in London and the years that followed. Susannah is candid, engaging and humorous as she recounts yarns of her life to date.
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- Suzanna
- 02-02-23
A surprise
I thought this book would be a guilty pleasure. Quickly, I discovered it went deeper. The author's mother suffered from bipolar disorder (not seen as an illness in the 1960s/1970s, but as a character weakness). . I wish she would have spent more time on how that impacted her both during her formative years and as an adult. I loved her focus on how from the outside, you can appear to have everything, but in truth, your potential can be stunted/discouraged by your privilege and the era in which you come to age. The well written book has an interesting story and the author's sense of humor is excellent. I'm pretty picky about books and started this with minimal expectations. Happily, I'm giving this one five stars overall.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Norma Gigone
- 05-08-23
Well written and narrated
Hilarious at times and quite detailed !! Suzanna is the perfect person to tell her tale .
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