Sex, Drugs, and $25 Salads
One Week at the Chateau Marmont
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Narrated by:
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Pat Young
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By:
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Ryan O'Connell
About this listen
When Ryan O'Connell went to stay for a week at the glamorous Chateau Marmont hotel last summer, he didn't quite know what to expect. Would he become instant BFF's with Lindsay Lohan and do lines of coke off of John Belushi's ghost? Would he have vacuous sex in the hotel elevator with Benicio Del Toro, just like Scarlett Johansson once did during an Oscars after-party? Or would he just be really, really bored like Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning were in the movie, Somewhere?
The answer, it turned out, was none of the above. After spending seven days running around the hotel looking for drugs, sex, and expensive salads, Ryan realized just how bizarre the Chateau Marmont actually was. And after capturing what he saw there, he can pretty much guarantee that he'll never be allowed back in again. Chic.
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Road Dog
- Life and Reflections from the Road as a Stand-up Comic
- By: Dov Davidoff
- Narrated by: Dov Davidoff
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Road Dog is comedian, actor, and writer, Dov Davidoff's unflinching memoir told through reflections of twelve months on the road. Davidoff travels across the country from college campuses to local theaters doing stand-up comedy and telling it like it is. He's been known to wax poetic about everything from encounters with large fake breasts, to people who have too many kids, to magnum condoms the size of CD cases. He is hilarious and relatable and will have you laughing at yourself in no time.
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dark, real, & exceptional
- By Luis F Rodriguez on 11-22-17
By: Dov Davidoff
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Out of Orange
- A Memoir
- By: Cleary Wolters
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The real-life Alex Vause from the critically acclaimed, top-rated Netflix show Orange Is the New Black tells her story in her own words for the first time - a powerful, surprising memoir about crime and punishment, friendship and marriage, and a life caught in the ruinous drug trade and beyond.
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Must read for OITNB fans
- By D. T. Douglas on 06-21-15
By: Cleary Wolters
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Power & Beauty
- By: Tip "T.I." Harris, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Prentice Onayemi
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Hip-hop artist Tip "T.I." Harris has received every acclaim the music world has to offer. Now, working with bestselling celebrity collaborator David Ritz, T.I. applies all his talent and experience to the world of fiction by creating the epic love story of Power and Beauty. After the death of his mother, Charlotte, Paul “Power” Clay allows himself to be guided by Slim, a local businessman. Slim always has the best of everything, and Power is sure that if he learns Slim's ways, he'll make something of himself - and perhaps be worthy of Tanya “Beauty” Long.
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Suprised by T.I.'s story telling skills
- By Dream on 07-11-12
By: Tip "T.I." Harris, and others
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Elaine's
- The Rise of One of New York’s Most Legendary Restaurants
- By: Amy Phillips Penn
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella, Johnathan McClain
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine's was a world-famous New York restaurant that became home to writers and celebrities. Owner Elaine Kaufman was known to be "New York feisty", controversial, often rude, always blunt, with the flare of Gertrude Stein and Dorothy Parker. Elaine was highly respected and frequently feared, and Elaine's the restaurant received the public's love and praise time and time again. Woody Allen held a regular table there, and Elaine's was even featured in Allen's Manhattan and Billy Joel's song "Big Shot".
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Elaine's Patrons; Hashtag Me Too
- By Findlaigh on 03-31-21
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Fairy Tale Interrupted
- A Memoir of Life, Love, and Loss
- By: RoseMarie Terenzio
- Narrated by: RoseMarie Terenzio
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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To everyone else, John F. Kennedy Jr. may have been American royalty, but to RoseMarie Terenzio, he was an entitled nuisance—and she wasn’t afraid to let him know it. RoseMarie was his personal assistant, his publicist, and one of his closest confidantes during the last five years of his life. In this, her first memoir, she bravely recounts her own fairy tale interrupted, describing the unlikely friendship between a blue-collar girl from the Bronx and John F. Kennedy Jr.
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Mediocre read
- By Rachel on 05-28-12
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
What listeners say about Sex, Drugs, and $25 Salads
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kevin
- 05-08-21
Bitter narration
Hard to get past the angry narrator right from the start. But once he got rejected by Raphael the masseuse, I knew this was not the book for me.
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- Joe
- 12-31-20
Not what you expect
It was a quick listen and I enjoyed the narrator but the story was overall boring. Not what you would expect from the title or the description.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jennifer J
- 12-14-20
it's eh.
limitedly interesting. I was slightly entertained for 90 min...better than watching the news of Covid.
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1 person found this helpful
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- LadyRosenoir
- 12-30-21
Meh?!?
The performance was good considering the topic, length and content. I love Hollywood history books but this isn't quite the standard tome about such a hedonism , businesses or soapy text. I honestly felt this should have been an article in the New Yorker, Wall Street journal, or People magazine. A time passer or sleep inducing diatribe of blase portions.
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- susannatalya
- 08-05-19
Btchy Complaint Rag
I've stayed at this classic hotel and had no problems, sat in the courtyard, but I was respectful. The author wonders why he was treated poorly and not seated in the Courtyard. I would never have expected unknown hotel staff to get me drugs or send up a prostitute in the form of a masseuse. The author's crass behavior to the staff is a bit embarrassing to listen to, but if you want to hear an account from the hotel guest from Hell, this is your story. This is a lame attempt to lambast a classic hotel that prides itself on discretion. The author is exactly the kind of creep he calls all the other guests. If this is meant as a joke on the hotel - which saw right through him, then the joke is on him. The book should be called "Diary of an Entitled Traveling Nobody Wannabe. I admit the writing style is good and the flow is interesting, and the reader is fine. Just know that he gets no sex nor drugs and but I guess he had a salad. Granted, many rooms in the hotel are a bit run down. That is part of the strange charm. The place is history.
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- Jen & Matt Matarrese
- 02-22-22
Typical Hollywood Shiii
I love stories about L.A., celebrities, and all things tmz...if you know what I mean! so this is right up my alley, but not the greatest reading. It was O.K.👍 but I've read better.
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- Chantel
- 07-19-24
meh......
I did not like the writers style at all.......he kinda seemed like a jerk and also seemed like he wouldn't be able to blend in and gain access to exclusive places at all
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- MJ
- 05-18-21
Whining story about nothing but whining.
Summary- Man who doesn't pay for a room at the Chateau complains that he isn't treated like royalty. He complains that, even though he did not make reservations, the hotel wouldn't seat him for dinner.....and he's just a poor working boy who once slept in a closet, so he whines and belittles the hostess (who is probably only making slightly above minimum wage). Side note - Maybe if he tipped and was gracious he would have been treated better, but remember, this room was paid for by his presumed sugar daddy and the authors credit card had already been denied at the front desk- not a suitable customer for any business. He then complains his masseuse, who made it clear he was straight wouldn't give the author a handjob.... more whining. Blah blah blah.... No one will sell him drugs, more whining. THE END
Hey I got this Audible off the free list so I listened to it while cleaning the house still could barely get through the entire thing.
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- JDC
- 02-21-21
Made an hour long a walk feel like two...
I am just getting into Audible and wanted some shorter works to walk to. The story is rather boring and mostly just the author being whiney. The narration missed on this one. It was easy to get thrown off by the yelp reviews, which were far more interesting than the author's tale, because of the narrator's tone and cadence. On the bright side I now know about a place I've never heard of and can confirm that I have no desire to visit
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- Mitch Manning
- 07-03-21
Great 👍🏼
Great audiobook.
Thank you for writing this, so funny.
I have quite a few stories I could say as well.
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