Simon Fayter and the Doors of Bone
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Narrated by:
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Austin J. Bailey
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By:
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Austin J. Bailey
About this listen
Three friends. Two ancient mysteries. One magical porta-potty.
Complete with 157 footnotes and a button that makes sheep fall from the sky, Simon Fayter and the Doors of Bone is the rip-roaring tale of an endearingly overconfident and hilarious boy genius. Simon has no idea that the quirky old tutor his mom works for is hiding an ancient secret, but the truth comes out when dark forces attack. Simon inherits a dusty coat, a slew of strange powers, and an age-old mystery. Namely, that the strange "lucky streak" he was born with is actually something much more complicated. And more dangerous....
Austin J. Bailey has entertained over 500,000 listeners with his best-selling Magemother series, and his latest work is better than ever. Doors of Bone is the first in a series of five middle-grade fantasy novels for kids of all ages.
©2017 Austin J. Bailey (P)2020 Austin J. BaileyListeners also enjoyed...
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Milking the Giant Cow!
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By: John Moore
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Chosen Omnibus
- The Brindle Dragon, Books 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Eist was born to be a dragon rider; she just knows it. When fate conspires to take her parents and leave her orphaned and injured, her future appears bleak. Unwilling to back down, she must overcome a system stacked against her. Even if she passes all the tests, there’s no guarantee she will ever fly on a dragon. Can she beat the odds and find her destiny, or will she be stranded on the ground?
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Enjoyed
- By Anonymous User on 03-27-21
By: Jada Fisher
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Big Trouble
- Small Medium, Book 1
- By: Andrew Seiple
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Chase Berrymore dreams of adventure, excitement, and getting the heck out of her pastoral halven village. But when adventure finds her, she'll be scrambling to save her family and friends from a necromancer's wrath. Outmatched in almost every way, she'll have to use her wits, charisma, and a bit of divine favor to figure out the path to victory. Even worse, she'll have to figure out ways to deal with the weird and nigh-immortal beings that call themselves "playas"...and she'll have to do it with the most powerful weapon she has available: words.
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Great continuation of threadbear-verse
- By Randall on 08-17-19
By: Andrew Seiple
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Unfettered
- Tales By Masters of Fantasy
- By: Terry Brooks, Patrick Rothfuss, Robert Jordan, and others
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim, Marc Vietor, Bronson Pinchot, and others
- Length: 20 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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You define life or it defines you. In Shawn Speakman’s case, it was both. Lacking health insurance and diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2011, Shawn quickly accrued a massive medical debt that he did not have the ability to pay. That’s when New York Times best-selling author Terry Brooks offered to donate a short story that Shawn could sell to help alleviate those bills—and suggested he ask the same of his other writer friends. Unfettered is the result: An anthology built in order to relieve that debt, featuring short stories by some of the best fantasy writers in the genre.
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A TRULY BAD COLLECTION OF DOGS
- By Randall on 12-21-18
By: Terry Brooks, and others
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Unstoppable Liv Beaufont Bundle
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 34 hrs and 48 mins
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Included in this collection, totaling almost 35 hours of audio, are the following audiobooks: Book One, The Rebellious Sister; Book Two, The Uncooperative Warrior; Book Three, The Defiant Magician; Book Four, The Triumphant Daughter; and Book Five, The Loyal Friend.
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So when is the next set in the series coming out?
- By Nita King on 06-19-23
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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The Uncommon Rider
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Outling
- By: Marty Mayberry
- Narrated by: Nicole Parnell
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Magic doesn't exist in the human world. As far as I know. But when I fling a fireball at a bully, my horrified mom dumps me at Crystal Wing Academy, a place straight out of my favorite fantasy books. They tell me I'm an Outling, a wizard born from non-magical parents. Mom's human. Dad? I don't exactly know who he is....
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UNEXPECTED TREAT Kent Junge
- By Anonymous User on 04-02-20
By: Marty Mayberry
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Slay and Rescue
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Jake Lewis
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Prince Charming must work overtime when he becomes embroiled in a plot involving an evil sorceress, an enchanted castle, an angry dragon, and three beautiful damsels in distress. In this hilarious fairy tale parody, Prince Charming is getting tired the constant need to Slay and Rescue.
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another charming story by John Moore
- By greygamer on 12-19-20
By: John Moore
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The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
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With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
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Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
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Prodigy of Thunder
- Chronicles of Anna Atticus Stone, Book 1
- By: Sever Bronny
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 24 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The youngest warlock to ever wield lightning, 14-year-old Anna Atticus Stone dreams of attending the prestigious Academy of Arcane Arts. Except her life is a mess. She's friendless, her older sister keeps knocking her teeth out, and her parents constantly argue.
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Worth a credit
- By Chris on 09-28-23
By: Sever Bronny
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The Red Scrolls of Magic
- The Eldest Curses
- By: Cassandra Clare, Wesley Chu
- Narrated by: BD Wong
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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All Magnus Bane wanted was a vacation - a lavish trip across Europe with Alec Lightwood, the shadowhunter who against all odds is finally his boyfriend. But as soon as the pair settles in Paris, an old friend arrives with news about a demon-worshiping cult called the Crimson Hand that is bent on causing chaos around the world. A cult that was apparently founded by Magnus himself. Years ago. As a joke. Now, Magnus and Alec must race across Europe to track down the Crimson Hand and its elusive new leader before the cult can cause any more damage.
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OMG! I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-10-19
By: Cassandra Clare, and others
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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Academy Arcanist
- Astra Academy Series, Book 1
- By: Shami Stovall
- Narrated by: Shaun Grindell
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Gray Lexly, son of a candlemaker, wants to escape his life of old-world technologies and study at the prestigious Astra Academy, a school for arcanists—those who can wield magic. But Gray has a major problem. Every night, as he sleeps, he's visited by monsters. When they injure Gray in his dreams, he wakes with the same wounds in real life . . . On the night Gray might finally die in his nightmares, he is saved by the kind and mysterious Professor Helmith, a powerful arcanist. She offers to protect Gray and invites him to attend Astra Academy.
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Loved It!
- By Sam H on 04-24-23
By: Shami Stovall
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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What listeners say about Simon Fayter and the Doors of Bone
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- Michelle
- 10-24-23
Unique
I loved how this book is written just the way my mind works. Squirrel. Can’t wait for the entire series!
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- Cam Tracey
- 06-22-24
Different but decent
Took me a bit to get into, I liked the story though the author has a good sense of humor. Narration is decent but the recording has a few issues with it. I think book is meant for a younger audience but there was enough to hold my interest
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- Travis Aldana
- 02-14-24
foot notes
At first, I didn't like the footnotes. After a while, they grew on me. I started to like the humor in them.
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- Brittani Lee Garber
- 04-16-24
Started slow, but by the end I wanted more…
Slow start. Felt a little hard to listen at first. Then it picked up and the pace was good to the end.
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- Robin B.
- 06-17-24
Great story, Great Narrator!
Loved the unexpected story line, the main characters and especially loved the footnote humor of the author!
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- Jeremiah
- 07-06-21
Captivating!
Great story! Can't wait until the second book is out on audible. I was both captivated and audibly laughing throughout the entire book.
Don't let the number of foot notes scare you. They are carefully and professionally crafted into the audiobook as to not disturb the experience. In fact, they are a rich and refreshing addition and the reader would lose wealth and depth to the development of the characters if they were not included.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-01-24
utter shock and elation
I really didn't think I'd like this book when I started it. but as it went on I couldn't believe how well they match the reader with the book. then I realized it's the author reading it! the whole time I was listening to the witty banter and clever twists all I could think is this author must be a really cool person. it's a great read really keeps you locked in it's hilarious, the characters are lovable and fantastic, it's quarky, and all around amazing I never read harry potter seen all the movies ALOT but I'd say this has to be a real close second or right up there in my style for the genre. I'm so pleased with this series. and I'm going to find more from this author! what a hoot
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- Caroline Maendel
- 02-16-24
beautifully written and witty
I love the sence of humor in this series. The main character is written with a confident swagger and witty sarcasm. I am so glad I found the series, I read all five books in quick succession. Give it a chance and you won't regret it.
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- Robert Urbanek
- 04-15-24
I guess I like fantasy books
A little bias but a very good story very well presented and surprisingly good lector (providing read by author. The aimed audience according to the author are very young (teens) but I think anybody can enjoy it. I think author can make a good money reading other peoples book. Everyone who listens to books knows how important is who reads it. So I gave 5 starts since it deserves to be promoted. Much better than 5 last fantasy books I have listened to. I would say it is as good as Aileron Kong's books and that is a high order. Austin I hope you will read all of your books because you have a voice and talent in addition to be a good writer.
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- BAGalloway
- 09-27-21
Waiting was worth it!
I really want this on audiobook after I heard the author was going to do his own narration and so I waited. It was totally worth it! Bailey brought his characters to life and made me giggle the whole time I listen to it. I was curious how he was going to handle the footnotes because they could have easily derailed the story itself but the flow back-and-forth with them felt almost natural.
I love that Simon is not a perfect little human destined for greatness but rather a flawed little earthling that’s stumbling through and doing the best he can as he learns about his powers and destiny.
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