Preview
  • The Dark Lord's Handbook

  • By: Paul Dale
  • Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
  • Length: 13 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (528 ratings)

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The Dark Lord's Handbook

By: Paul Dale
Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
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Publisher's summary

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward, but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, and battles to be fought. After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would-be tyrants. He wrote an easy-to-follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others. It had been hundreds of years, and the Handbook was lost in the annals of time, along with all that was mythic and exciting in the world. Then one day, a randy dragon had a chance encounter. Nine months later a Dark Lord was born. In time, the Handbook found its way to this new contender: Morden.

©2008 Paul Dale (P)2014 Tantor
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What listeners say about The Dark Lord's Handbook

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Blurring the lines of good/evil for a good story.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. Extremely funny

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Dark Lord's Handbook?

When the love interest met the dark lord for the first time and it went into detail of how beautiful she was, her first words to him were "Get fucked!"

Which character – as performed by Gildart Jackson – was your favorite?

Edwin, the half witted sociopath hero who has a thing for overweight women.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Laugh. The LOTR and Star Wars references were subtle perfectly placed.

Any additional comments?

There needs to be a sequel. The characters were to we'll written for this to end on one book.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Started slow

I loved the characters, but I felt like things only got about 60% developed through the first 3/4 of the book.

The chancellor was clearly the best character and was also one of the least exposed.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Heroes should finish last

Witty story that makes you question who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. You can't help put cheer for the Dark Lord. There is a subtle nod to Terry Pratchett and a reference to a previous dark lord that put to much of his power in a ring and then lost it. Men seem to have an attraction to women with a temper. Clever, witty and fun

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

good but character development is awkward

the story starts off well enough and the story remains interesting all the way through, however about half way through the characters just get unbelievable dumb. both the "hero" and the "dark lord" refuse to think for a single moment. when the Mc just does dumb things after a certain boat scene, grows lazy, ampethetic, and just starts ignoring obvious things like his ability and obvious stuff. at the same time the writing starts repeating instead of giving actual details. the most described things in this story is food and hints at anything really interesting like powers or city details and it hurts. I need the description of the food on the same level as when he transforms, city details, or any magic object please.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

it sure is something else

Any additional comments?

This is one of the few books who ever made me laugh out loud, the dark and cynical humor is refreshing. The story itself from the perspective of the bad guy is nice too.
The narrator brings something extra, i can see how many people might be annoyed by the way he reads this but for this book it fits perfectly.
All things considered its one of the better works i found here so far.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

better than i anticipated

my only negative comment is that the middle of the book was slow and seemed to informative vs just a good story

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

I have a feeling Putin read this book

Funny book with many amusing trope references. A look at the stereotypical rising hero story but from the other side.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A Great Listen!

A hilarious and original take on the classic adventure. I highly recommend this book for anyone looking for a little fun in their adventure story. The handbook also doles out outstanding advice to all of us fledgling Dark Lords! I am now ready to come forth!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Great, except for the ending.

A very fun world, expertly brought to life. My only complaint is that the ending was a bad riff on the classic starwars, good vs evil ending.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

I want more and I can't have it.

there is a book 2 and 3. im a truck driver and I listen to books while I drive and I can't have the sequels to my favorite one. I sent a request but it's been ignored and I won't buy the paperbacks because I listen to books for 10 hours a day and refuse to read while I'm resting. whatever.

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