Long-listed, National Book Awards, 2024

Perfect for fans of Mark Oshiro and Adam Silvera comes a fiercely funny and hopeful story of one boy's attempts to keep everything under control while life has other plans.

Ever since cancer invaded his adoptive mother’s life, Brett feels like he’s losing everything, most of all control. To cope, Brett fuels all of his anxieties into epic fantasies, including his intergalactic Kid Condor comic book series, which features food constellations and characters not unlike those in his own life.

But lately Brett’s grip on reality has started to lose its hold. The fictions he’s been telling himself—about his unattractive body, the feeling that he’s a burden to his best friend, that he’s too messed up to be loved—have consumed him completely, and Brett will do anything to forget about the cosmic-sized hole in his chest, even if it's unhealthy.

But when Brett’s journal and deepest insecurities are posted online for the whole school to see, Brett realizes he can no longer avoid the painful truths of his real-life narrative. As his eating disorder escalates, Brett must be honest with the people closest to him, including his new and fierce friend Mallory who seems to know more about Brett’s issues than he does. With their support, he just might find the courage to face the toughest reality of all.

A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.