The New and Improved Romie Futch
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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T. Ryder Smith
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By:
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Julia Elliott
About this listen
From the author of The Wilds, which Publishers Weekly called "a brilliant combination of emotion and grime, wit and horror," comes a debut novel that is part dystopian satire, part Southern Gothic tall tale: a disturbing yet hilarious romp through a surreal New South where newfangled medical technologies change the structure of the human brain, and genetically modified feral animals ravage the blighted landscape.
Down on his luck and still pining for his ex-wife, South Carolina taxidermist Romie Futch spends his evenings drunkenly surfing the Internet before passing out on his couch. In a last-ditch attempt to pay his mortgage, he replies to an ad and becomes a research subject in an experiment conducted by the Center for Cybernetic Neuroscience in Atlanta, Georgia. After "scientists" download hifalutin humanities disciplines into their brains, Romie and his fellow guinea pigs start debating the works of Foucault and hashing out the intricacies of postmodern subjectivity.
The enhanced taxidermist, who once aspired to be an artist, returns to his hometown ready to revolutionize his work and revive his failed marriage. As Romie tracks down specimens for his elaborate animatronic taxidermy dioramas, he develops an Ahab-caliber obsession with bagging "Hogzilla", a thousand-pound feral hog that has been terrorizing Hampton County. Cruising hog-hunting websites, he learns that this lab-spawned monster possesses peculiar traits. Pulled into an absurd and murky underworld of biotech operatives, FDA agents, and environmental activists, Romie becomes entangled in the enigma of Hogzilla's origins. Exploring the interplay between nature and culture, biology and technology, reality and art, The New and Improved Romie Futch probes the mysteries of memory and consciousness, offering a darkly comic yet heartfelt take on the contemporary human predicament.
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The end of the world didn't happen overnight. After years of war, societal breakdown, freak storms, and rising tides, humanity already hovered near the edge. Then came the most unexpected threat of all: the world's corpses rising up to deliver the final blow.
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Not worth more than $1.00 or so
- By cristina on 11-20-15
By: Isaac Marion
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The Sky Is Yours
- A Novel
- By: Chandler Klang Smith
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In the burned-out, futuristic city of Empire Island, three young people navigate a crumbling metropolis constantly under threat from a pair of dragons that circle the skies. When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis' last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known.
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a hot mess
- By Alison on 04-09-19
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Still
- Still Series, Book 1
- By: Camilla Monk
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It always started like this, a pulse inside me, like a warning before the tide surged, roared... and froze everything. Twenty-year old Emma just landed in Rome, to find the father who walked out of her life more than a decade ago and was too busy eating pizza to call. Traveling with her is a secret she's carried alone since childhood: sometimes, around her, time stops. People and cars freeze, rain hangs still in the air and there's only her left in the silence. To make things worse, instead of her dad, Em runs into a past she'd rather forget in the person of Lily, her stepsister.
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Camilla Monk & Amy McFadden - the dynamic duo!
- By Bethany on 07-03-18
By: Camilla Monk
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Lie in Wait
- By: Eric Rickstad
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In the remote, pastoral hamlet of Canaan, Vermont, a high-profile legal case shatters the town's sense of peace and community. Anger simmers. Fear and prejudice awaken. Old friends turn on each other. Violence threatens. So when a young teenage girl is savagely murdered while babysitting at the house of the lead attorney in the case, Detective Sonja Test believes the girl's murder and the divisive case must be linked.
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Not a Good Story or Characters
- By L. O. Pardue on 09-12-15
By: Eric Rickstad
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Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
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Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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Horror Stories
- Twenty-Six Scary Tales
- By: Jack Kilborn, J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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This collection features a menagerie of horror stories. Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware...
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IS A PIECE OF A@@, WORTH PRISON?, HELL YA!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-10-16
By: Jack Kilborn, and others
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter
- By: Michael Swanwick
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Named a New York Times notable book of 1994, The Iron Dragon's Daughter tells the heartrending story of a changeling child who is kidnapped to a realm of malls and machines and enslaved in a vast, infernal factory. Ultimately, she escapes and attempts to educate herself about this alien world, while being tormented by visions of the life she was denied.
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Inconsistent story and makes for a poor experience
- By Martin Smith on 07-10-15
By: Michael Swanwick
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The Hollow Man
- By: Dan Simmons
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeremy Bremen has a secret. All his life he's been cursed with the ability to read minds. He knows the secret thoughts, fears, and desires of others as if they were his own. For years, his wife, Gail, has served as a shield between Jeremy and the burden of this terrible knowledge. But Gail is dying, her mind ebbing slowly away, leaving him vulnerable to the chaotic flood of thought that threatens to sweep away his sanity. Now Jeremy is on the run - from his mind, from his past, from himself - hoping to find peace in isolation.
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Genius writing, great book
- By David Shear on 02-28-14
By: Dan Simmons
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The Talisman
- By: Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Frank Muller
- Length: 28 hrs
- Unabridged
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On a brisk autumn day, a 13-year-old boy stands on the shores of the gray Atlantic, near a silent amusement park and a fading ocean resort called the Alhambra. The past has driven Jack Sawyer here: His father is gone, his mother is dying, and the world no longer makes sense. But for Jack everything is about to change. For he has been chosen to make a journey back across America - and into another realm. One of the most influential and heralded works of fantasy ever written, The Talisman is an extraordinary novel of loyalty, awakening, terror, and mystery.
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Still Good
- By Bill S. on 03-24-10
By: Stephen King, and others
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Halcyon
- A Thriller
- By: Rio Youers
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 13 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Halcyon is the answer for all Americans who want to escape, but paradise isn't what it seems. A beautiful island in the middle of Lake Ontario - a self-sustaining community made up of people who want to live without fear, crime, or greed. Halcyon is run by Valerie Kemp, aka Mother Moon, benevolent and altruistic on the outside, but hiding an unimaginable darkness inside. She has dedicated her life to the pursuit of Glam Moon, a place of eternal beauty and healing. And she believes the pathway there can only be found at the end of pleasure.
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Intense and mesmerizing
- By Andrea on 09-25-18
By: Rio Youers
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The Hundredth Man
- Carson Ryder/Harry Nautilus #1
- By: Jack Kerley
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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When bizarre and cryptic messages are found on a pair of corpses in Mobile, Alabama, junior police detective Carson Ryder and veteran cop Harry Nautilus find themselves in a mysterious public-relations quagmire pitting public safety against office politics. With the body count growing, Ryder must confront his family's terrifying past by seeking advice from his brother, a violent psychopath convicted of similarly heinous crimes.
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Definitely a case for Matthew McConnaghey
- By Cheryl on 08-19-14
By: Jack Kerley
What listeners say about The New and Improved Romie Futch
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- human5674395
- 07-01-23
perfect narration
The narration is perfect - literally nothing to improve on. The writing is brilliant, funny, and absurd. I thoroughly enjoyed this the first time I listened to it about a year ago. My bookclub selected this and it's just as good the second time around
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- KEBP
- 08-09-17
EXCELLENT! Stick with it!!
This is the best book I've read or listened to... kind of a lighter, southern, modern-day "Ready Player One."
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1 person found this helpful
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- Dealosaurus Rex
- 08-06-18
Masculinity under the microscope
This was a funny, intelligent, science fictional look at the plight of the rural dude in a modern, progressive culture.
Romie Futch is his own worst enemy, despite the ex wife, evil corporation, sleazy frienemy and genetically-engineered pig monster contending for that role. Even after he signs up for a mysterious medical experiment that gives him super intelligence, he can't manage to get out of his own way in his pursuit of happiness and success.
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