The Reappearing Act
Coming Out as Gay on a College Basketball Team Led by Born-Again Christians
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Narrated by:
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Kate Udall
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By:
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Kate Fagan
About this listen
It’s hard enough coming out, but playing basketball for a nationally ranked school and trying to figure out your sexual identity in the closeted and paranoid world of big-time college sports - that’s a challenge.
Kate Fagan’s love for basketball and for her religious teammates at the University of Colorado was tested by the gut-wrenching realization that she could no longer ignore the feelings of otherness inside her. In trying to blend in, Kate had created a hilariously incongruous world for herself in Boulder. Her best friends were part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where they ran weekly Bible studies and attended an Evangelical Free Church. For nearly a year, Kate joined them and learned all she could about Christianity - even holding their hands as they prayed for others "living a sinful lifestyle". Each time the issue of homosexuality arose, she felt as if a neon sign appeared over her head, with a giant arrow pointed downward. During these prayer sessions, she would often keep her eyes open, looking around the circle at the closed eyelids of her friends, listening to the earnestness of their words.
Kate didn’t have a vocabulary for discussing who she really was and what she felt when she was younger; all she knew was that she had a secret. In The Reappearing Act, she brings the listener along for the ride as she slowly accepts her new reality and takes the first steps toward embracing her true self.
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It's been a year since it happened - when Paige Hancock's first boyfriend died in an accident. After shutting out the world for two years, Paige is finally ready for a second chance at high school...and she has a plan. First: Get her old crush, Ryan Chase, to date her - the perfect way to convince everyone she's back to normal. Next: Join a club. But when Ryan's sweet, nerdy cousin, Max, moves to town and recruits Paige for the Quiz Bowl team, her perfect plan is thrown for a serious loop.
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Better for MG readers
- By Pink Amy on 06-21-24
By: Emery Lord
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Everneath
- By: Brodi Ashton
- Narrated by: Amy Rubinate
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Last spring, Nikki Beckett vanished, sucked into an underworld known as the Everneath. Now she’s returned - to her old life, her family, her boyfriend - before she’s banished back to the underworld... this time forever. She has six months before the Everneath comes to claim her, six months for good-byes she can’t find the words for, six months to find redemption, if it exists. Nikki longs to spend these precious months forgetting the Everneath and trying to reconnect with her boyfriend, Jack, the person most devastated by her disappearance - and the one person she loves more than anything.
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A Hauntingly Beautiful Debut
- By Kale on 03-21-12
By: Brodi Ashton
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My Heart and Other Black Holes
- By: Jasmine Warga
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
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Depressingly Delightful
- By FanB14 on 06-20-15
By: Jasmine Warga
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Symptoms of Being Human
- By: Jeff Garvin
- Narrated by: Tom Phelan
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Riley Cavanaugh is many things: punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. But Riley isn't exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in über-conservative Orange County, the pressure - media and otherwise - is building up in Riley's life.
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Read this, right now!!
- By LOVE_Reading_LOVE_Audiobooks! on 03-02-16
By: Jeff Garvin
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The Future of Us
- By: Jay Asher, Carolyn Mackler
- Narrated by: Steven Kaplan, Mary Ellen Cravens
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 1996, and less than half of all American high-school students have ever used the Internet. Emma just got her first computer and an America Online CD-ROM. Josh is her best friend. They power up and log on - and discover themselves on Facebook, 15 years in the future. Everybody wonders what their Destiny will be. Josh and Emma are about to find out.
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Fascinating concept, entertaining story
- By Cheryl on 05-29-12
By: Jay Asher, and others
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Vivian Apple at the End of the World
- By: Katie Coyle
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Vivian Apple never believed in the evangelical Church of America, unlike her recently devout parents. But when Vivian returns home the night after the supposed 'Rapture,' all that's left of her parents are two holes in the roof. Suddenly, she doesn't know who or what to believe. With her best friend Harp and a mysterious ally, Peter, Vivian embarks on a desperate cross-country road trip through a paranoid and panic-stricken America to find answers.
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juvenile
- By emily on 12-16-19
By: Katie Coyle
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The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things (15th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Carolyn Mackler
- Narrated by: Laura Knight Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Carolyn Mackler's Printz Honor book - starring the unforgettably funny, body-conscious Virginia Shreves - returns in this 15th anniversary edition featuring text updates and never-before-heard material from the author. Fifteen-year-old Virginia feels like a plus-sized black sheep in her family, especially next to her perfect big brother Byron. Not to mention her best friend has moved, leaving Virginia to navigate an awkward relationship with a boy alone. In order to survive, Virginia decides to follow a "Fat Girl Code of Conduct", which works, until the unthinkable causes her family's facade to crumble.
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LOVE this
- By carrie sanabria on 11-26-18
By: Carolyn Mackler
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Breaking Night
- A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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Rainbow Boys
- By: Alex Sanchez
- Narrated by: Alston Brown
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Jason Carrillo is a jock with a steady girlfriend, but he can't stop dreaming about sex...with other guys. Kyle Meeks doesn't look gay, but he is. And he hopes he never has to tell anyone - especially his parents. Nelson Glassman is "out" to the entire world, but he can't tell the boy he loves that he wants to be more than just friends. Three teenage boys, coming of age and out of the closet.
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Mixed feelings
- By Holli on 05-04-19
By: Alex Sanchez
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The Last to Let Go
- By: Amber Smith
- Narrated by: Stephanie Einstein
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you let go of something you've never had? Junior year for Brooke Winters is supposed to be about change. She's transferring schools, starting fresh, and making plans for college so she can finally leave her hometown, her family, and her past behind. But all of her dreams are shattered one hot summer afternoon when her mother is arrested for killing Brooke's abusive father. No one really knows what happened that day, if it was premeditated or self-defense, whether it was right or wrong. And now Brooke and her siblings are on their own.
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It's slow
- By Autumn S. on 09-05-18
By: Amber Smith
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
What listeners say about The Reappearing Act
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Carol
- 01-12-23
Hits close to home
I thought I was picking up a fictional story but it turned out to be non-fiction. Kate put down in words the struggles so many of us have gone through but can’t or don’t feel comfortable talking about. A difficult read for me at times. I wish I could get some of my “praying for you” friends to read it to see what really goes on in our heads and how they sometimes make things so much worse when
they think they are doing what’s right.
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- steve finkelstein
- 06-21-16
Great book but ....
What made the experience of listening to The Reappearing Act the most enjoyable?
The narrator's voice is similar to the author's so that makes the story more personal and interesting.
Any additional comments?
At some point in the book, when the author is going to work as a summer intern on the Conan O'Brien show, the phrase " ... the 9/1 TOURIST attack ..." Not terrorist but tourist. Since I only have the audio version of the book, I can't tell if the book has the typo or the narrator misspoke. Either way, a pretty awful typo.
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- drizzy-d15
- 01-08-22
Eye Opening
This book is such an eye opening experience for me. I can’t count all the ways it has made me pause and reevaluate a thought or question I’ve had about my own life and journey to accept myself and my sexuality. For those on this journey, this book will give you a voice you didn’t know you needed. It will also make you question a few things you didn’t know you wanted answers to. It’s an amazing eye opening for those having a dilemma about their sexuality and may need help find a light at the end of a tunnel.
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- TechFem50
- 04-01-17
Touching, witty and inspiring coming out story
The stakes were high playing in a major college program. Kate had the advantage of playing for a coach who didn't black ball her players because of being gay. Yet peer pressure to conform is harsher when discovering you are different.
Loved Kate's honesty and humor. A lot of her coming out story rings true for many others.
Hated that it ended.
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- James
- 01-21-23
Amazing memoir!
This memoir was well-done, thought-provoking, and I felt that her writing style made it easy to connect with her and her story. Kate Fagan was clearly not a stranger to doing hard things through her academic and athletic careers. Then, she finds herself in a position through trying to connect with her team members and in an evangelical group who seemingly tried to help but alienated her core self. She demonstrated so much courage and her sharing her story will no doubt help others who either are struggling themselves and/or want to support loved ones coming out.
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- Carey Durden
- 07-26-21
Sobering and yet fullfilling
This book was a very very good story. Ao true to the times. A truly realist tale of coming out and the internal war that comes with it. The Author did an amazing job in telling this tale from a first person perspective. And the narrator did a fantastic performance.
For some, this book may draw a lot of angst. But it laid bare the thoughts, emotions and sheer rawness of how hard it can be to come out and more importantly, how difficult finding acceptance within yourself is.
I would HIGHLY recommend this book to everyone, including friends, parents and relatives that have someone in their life that is going through this.
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- Jill Dutcher
- 12-29-21
Enlightening!
A thoughtful story was engaging and painful at the same time. A story needed told.
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- Joe Gargiul
- 03-23-19
compelling
wow....heart wrenching story of the trials Kate faced....real insight into the mind of a 19 year old student athlete.....thanks for letting us in Kate.
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-23-24
Excellent story!
Beautiful, moving, impactful story! Kate’s story is relevant to anyone, no matter gender, sexual orientation, race. It’s just a really intriguing story. It’s about challenges and obstacles in life, friendships in allies, accepting oneself and overcoming those obstacles. Sad hopeful moving heartfelt.
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- Amanda Roczniak
- 09-01-15
Compelling Truth
This was a book I was meant to find. I had just recently been at a women in sports speaking engagement that featured Kate Fagan as the moderator. I so thoroughly enjoyed her that after the event I did the now thing, which was to Google her and found this book she had written.
I immediately ordered it because I was eager to hear her story. I'm so glad I did because I could so relate to her process (minus the born again Christian piece) but every other part hit home.
This is a great book not just for someone who is gay, but for anyone who wants a better understanding of the coming out process and the obstacles and challenges one faces in the coming out process. One of the most interesting pieces was that, if I hadn't known better I would have thought it was from back in the 80's or 90's, not as recent as it was. It just goes to show there is still a lot of education and stories like this that need to be told so those who are gay or knows a gay person they would like to support, that they are not alone and this can be the support they may need to navigate the process.
Such great, authentic sharing and I'm glad to have shared in her story.
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