The Woman They Wanted Audiobook By Shannon Harris cover art

The Woman They Wanted

Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife

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The Woman They Wanted

By: Shannon Harris
Narrated by: Shannon Harris
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About this listen

As a twenty-three-year-old singer and the soon-to-be wife of youth pastor Joshua Harris, nothing in Shannon Harris's secular upbringing prepared her to enter the world of conservative Christianity. Soon Joshua's bestselling book I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped inspire a national purity movement, and Shannon's identity became "pastor's wife."

The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon's remarkable experience inside Big Church—where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades—and her subsequent journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself. Entering conservative American Christianity was like being drawn out to sea, she writes, inexorable and all consuming. Slowly, her worldview was narrowed, her motivations questioned, her behavior examined, until she had been whittled down to an idealized version of femininity envisioned as an extension of her husband and the church. However, when Sovereign Grace Ministries fell apart due to leadership conflicts and Shannon found herself outside church circles for the first time in years, she heard her intuition calling to her again. As she began to shake off the fog of depression and confusion, that voice grew louder. In honoring it, she awakened to the realities in which she had been trapped and found her truest self.

©2023 Shannon Harris (P)2023 eChristian
Religious Women Marriage Inspiring Heartfelt
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What listeners say about The Woman They Wanted

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A Must Read

Very clear and thoughtful examination of the trauma from church. Helpful in understanding how one might end up in a life never imagined.

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Compelling, personal story

Because I come from a religiously conservative background, I found her story to be very relatable and interesting. It helped me to hear her personal story and the changes she made in her life to come into her own person. I’m glad she shared her story.

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Bitter sweet story.

I really enjoyed Shannon's honest sharing of her journey. I can see how it would be many women's story in some evangelical churches. I am thankful that my own experience has been one of freedom for women to share their gifts and talents and still be true to who they are. My own faith journey has been Full of ups and downs, Sweetness and pain. Failures and redemption. Always pursued by my savior Jesus and reminded how much he loves me, not my performance. Religion is not what Jesus has in mind for his daughters to
Bear as a Burden. The only thing that saddened me about the story was that in the end, Shannon was not sure She even believed there was a God. I'm glad she is free from The tyrant of religiosity. I am happy that her faith journey can now truly begin ... that Jesus always pursues us. I would be lost if he hadn't pursued me. I love you, Shannon.

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The Strength of Women

I had an inkling of who Josh Harris was. I never grew up in Christian patriarchy or got involved as I grew up. I heard a review of this book on another podcast and was curious. I bought this book and I’m so glad I did! Shannon is a wonderful writer and she tells her story beautifully. You are with her as she looses herself in her marriage and this world of evangelical wife hood and woman hood and she brings the reader (or listener) with her in her journey of rediscovering her voice and her identify outside of her famous husband and the strict culture they were apart of. 100/10, this is a must read!

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New Woman

I liked the breakaway from tradition. I felt much the same way with church. I do however feel that there are churches out there that respect, honor, and even promote women to being their best. All I know is that Jesus is Love. We must emulate Love. And most church dogma is just humans trying to follow a God that has all these rules. When in fact it’s so much easier than that. Love God with all your heart. Love your neighbor as yourself.

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Loved the transparency of this book

Devoured this book! Couldn’t stop listening. Great read and transparency into the life of a mega church, pastor’s wife. Wow! Pretty amazing stuff.

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Important wake up

Personal story of how an ultra conservative church pidgeon holes and disenfranchises women. rather than protecting peoples faith they push believers to a crisis of faith. Important memoir that answers most of the questions people have about this couple. Minus stars for literary style and reading.

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The fruit of truth

Thank you for sharing your story and living courageously. This message needs to be spoken.

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Great look into extreme Evangelical Christianity

A riveting and enlightening description of what Shannon encountered in a cult like church. It is a clear warning of many pitfalls one might encounter in the church. Her words resonated so much for me, a deconstructing millenial with religious trauma.

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Not biblical

Being a woman minister who has worked hard to obtain and maintain her identity, I had hoped this testimony would provide more biblical theology to support the role of the woman in the church and ministry. Sadly, I find it misrepresents God’s heart because men have misrepresented God. I do believe there is a way to be free from man-made constructs and still embrace the truth of the Word of God. I’m glad she was able to free herself from legalism, but in doing so she also freed herself from Truth. There are some good insights, but I couldn’t agree with some of her theology.

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1 person found this helpful