There's No Manual
Honest and Gory Wisdom About Having a Baby
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Narrated by:
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Beth Newell
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Jacqueline Ann May
About this listen
The info-packed, truth-telling guide expectant and new mothers have been screaming into their pillows for.
So you're making a person...and no one will stop telling you what to do about it. Your friends, your neighbors, your Uber driver - everyone is giving you unsolicited advice, to which Beth and Jackie say: F--k advice! There's no "right" way to be pregnant or a new mom, only stretchy pants to be worn and choices to be made.
This guide asks and answers all the essential questions that pop up from the first trimester to the fourth, such as: Should I have an unmedicated or drugged-out birth? (Up to you!) Will I have time to pee as a new mom? (Maybe!) How do I avoid hating my partner? (That's a little more complicated.) Funny, feminist, and, above all, pro-mom, this book is an actually useful baby shower gift.
*Includes a PDF of illustrations. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Beth Newell and Jackie Ann Ruiz (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Most books on pregnancy seem to be written by people whose other profession is cross-stitching inspirational phrases on pillows. This book is not that. It is, for lack of a better term, a chill hang." (Rachel Bloom)
"If you are looking to laugh and learn a ton, read this book! I learned way more about pregnancy and parenthood from this book than from The Da Vinci Code, no offense to Dan Brown!” (Megan Amram, author of Science...for Her!)
"This sharp, hilarious and 1000% relatable book gets to the heart of all Pregnancy Mysteries you actually need to know about, like how to handle pregnancy sex (lean into the oral), how to respond to strangers who want to know if the baby was 'an oopsie', and exactly which drugs to ask for and when (all of them, immediately, if you're me, but to each their own). My personal favorite section: how to plan the perfect birth for your baby to ruin...because babies don't give a f------k about birth plans. #Truth." (Jordan Reid, author of The Big Fat Activity Book for Pregnant People)
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Performance
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The author - a.k.a. "The Baby Whisperer - unlocks the secrets of infant language so that any parents, grandparents, or caregiver can interpret what babies are "saying" and give them what they need.
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a good place to start
- By Bk Marcus on 11-12-05
By: Tracy Hogg
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Beyond the Sling
- A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn't follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do - she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the "right" way to raise a child. That's when she turned to attachment parenting.
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Explains her style without condemning others
- By Mary on 03-28-12
By: Mayim Bialik
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Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
- And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old - you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor").
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Ok, nothing amazing
- By Lklns on 03-14-19
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Sweet Sleep
- Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family
- By: La Leche League International, Diane Wiessinger, Diana West, and others
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Full of mother-wisdom, reassurance, and support, Sweet Sleep is the first book on nights and naps for breastfeeding families. It is a comprehensive how-to guide for making sane and safe decisions on how and where your family sleeps, backed by the latest research in pediatric care.
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Great read, especially for mothers of babies
- By Jaclyn Kaye on 03-02-24
By: La Leche League International, and others
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Like a Mother
- A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy
- By: Angela Garbes
- Narrated by: Roxana Ortega, Angela Garbes
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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What to listen to after What to Expect.... A badass, feminist, and personal deep-dive into the science and culture of pregnancy and early motherhood that debunks myths and dated assumptions, offering guidance and camaraderie to women navigating one of the biggest and most profound changes in their lives. Like most first-time mothers, Angela Garbes was filled with questions when she became pregnant. What exactly is a placenta? How does a body go into labor? Why is breast best? What are the signs and effects of postpartum depression?
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Microchimerism - interesting at first, then profoundly healing
- By Emily Virgil on 09-10-18
By: Angela Garbes
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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The Confident Parent
- A Pediatrician's Guide to Caring for Your Little One - Without Losing Your Joy, Your Mind, or Yourself
- By: Dr. Jane Scott, Stephanie Land
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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We've all heard the complaint from parents: They're more overwhelmed than ever before - juggling demands on their time as well as conflicting advice from family, friends, frenemies, and "experts" on how to achieve parental perfection, or risk jeopardizing their little one's future happiness. Pediatrician Jane Scott has seen this parental anxiety up close, and in The Confident Parent she shares advice on how to cut through the confusion.
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Read by a computer
- By Megan Ormston on 11-14-18
By: Dr. Jane Scott, and others
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Breastfeeding Made Simple
- Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers
- By: Nancy Mohrbacher IBCLC FILCA, Kathleen Kendall-Tackett PhD IBCLC, Jack Newman MD
- Narrated by: Kathleen Godwin
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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This second edition of Breastfeeding Made Simple is an essential guide to breastfeeding that every new and expectant mom should own - a comprehensive resource that takes the mystery out of basic breastfeeding dynamics. Understanding the seven natural laws of breastfeeding will help you avoid and overcome challenges such as low milk production, breast refusal, weaning difficulties, and every other obstacle that can keep you from enjoying breastfeeding your baby.
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A lot of information
- By colt stevens on 05-01-19
By: Nancy Mohrbacher IBCLC FILCA, and others
What listeners say about There's No Manual
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-04-20
This saved me!
Being a new mommy-to-be, pregnancy seemed SO LONELY! Every women in my life could not have related to me or even give me advice, which was weird being that they are new and old mothers themselves. After listening to this, I felt so aware of this world that was unknown to me. I love both readers’ voices and all the sass that came along with it! It was like having coffee with your closest, most honest and caring gf. Girl power on a next level. Seriously, though, this book saved me from feeling like something was wrong with me and took me out of my many lows and anxiety. The only thing I wish they shined a light on are perinatal and postpartum depression. That would have helped me understand my emotions more as I was later diagnosed with perinatal depression. Other then that, I cannot recommend those book enough!!! Don’t, like, DO NOT hesitate on reading this! What I love is that it’s different stages too, so you can come back to this book at any time!!
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- Erin Wilson
- 09-21-24
Unbearable
Wow I was expecting something smart and funny with a unique point of view. Sounds like they had chatGPT write a pregnancy book in the style of a cringe gen z intern. Could not believe how bad this was. Could not finish. Was not helpful.
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