Unmasked
My Life Solving America's Cold Cases
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Narrated by:
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Paul Holes
About this listen
2022 Audible.com Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Hudson Booksellers Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Amazon.com Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
This program is read by the author.
From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards–and toll–of a life solving crime.
I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.
Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.
When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.
But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”
It is a promise I know I can keep.
A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books
©2022 Paul Holes (P)2022 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
—Los Angeles Magazine
"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
—San Francisco Chronicle
"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
—Publishers Weekly, starred review
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It's a Christian Book!!
- By Nick on 07-07-16
By: Stephen Singular
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Kiss Me, Kill Me
- And Other True Cases (Ann Rule's Crime Files, Book 9)
- By: Ann Rule
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
America's #1 true-crime writer reveals how lovers become predators, how sex and lust can push ordinary people to desperate acts, and how investigators and forensics experts work to unravel the most entangled crimes of passion. Extracting behind-the-scenes details, Ann Rule makes these volatile relationships utterly real, and masterfully re-creates the ill-fated chains of events in cases like the ex-Marine and martial arts master who seduced vulnerable women and destroyed their lives, the killer whose calling card was a red rose, and more.
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Boring
- By Luv lots on 09-15-13
By: Ann Rule
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Obsessed
- By: M. William Phelps
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 13 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sheila Davalloo was young, attractive, and successful. When she started a new job at a cutting-edge research lab in Stamford, Connecticut, she met the man of her dreams. Nelson Sessler had no idea how violently Sheila would react when he began seeing a co-worker, Anna Lisa Raymundo. Sheila eliminated her rival in a bloody knife attack - and then turned her rage on another victim she saw as an obstacle to her passions.
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Avoid this narrator
- By Carole on 04-18-14
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Dead and Buried
- By: Corey Mitchell
- Narrated by: Steven Jay Cohen
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Rachel Newhouse disappeared on the night of November 12, 1998. Only months later, in the same town, Aundria Crawford lost her life in an act of unimaginable violence. As authorities worked to find clues, parole officer David Zaragoza paid a routine visit to one of his charges - Rex Allan Krebs, a violent serial rapist who'd served only 10 years of a 20-year sentence. After sending Krebs back to jail for violating his parole, Zaragoza found a key chain belonging to one of the victims. An intensive search led to the gruesome discovery of buried remains near Krebs' secluded cabin.
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Well Written!
- By txammug on 09-10-18
By: Corey Mitchell
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Picture Perfect
- The Jodi Arias Story: a Beautiful Photographer, Her Mormon Lover, and a Brutal Murder
- By: Shanna Hogan
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Travis Alexander was a handsome, hard-working, practicing Mormon who lived in Mesa, Arizona. His good looks and easygoing manner made him popular with everyone, especially the ladies. So when he was found with a bullet wound in the face and his throat slashed, the brutal murder sent shock waves throughout his community. Who could have done something so sinister? But soon a suspect was singled out-Jodi Arias. A beautiful, aspiring photographer, Jodi had been in a long-distance relationship with Travis the year before.
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Didn't know Siri now read books.
- By Adam on 10-20-14
By: Shanna Hogan
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The Sex Club
- Wade Jackson Series, Book 1
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Story
A pipe bomb explodes at a birth control clinic, then a young client turns up dead in a dumpster. Kera, the clinic nurse, discovers that the girl’s Bible group is sharing more than the Good News. Confidentiality keeps her from telling the police, so she digs for the truth on her own—becoming the bomber’s new target. Meanwhile, Detective Jackson races to find the killer, fearing that his own daughter could be next.
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Weak start to a wonderful suspense series!
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Deliver Us
- Three Decades of Murder and Redemption in the Infamous I-45/Texas Killing Fields
- By: Kathryn Casey
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Over a three-decade span, more than 20 women - many teenagers - died mysteriously in the small towns bordering Interstate 45, a 50-mile stretch of highway running from Houston to Galveston. The victims were strangled, shot, or savagely beaten.
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Creepy creepy creepy
- By 6catz on 04-10-15
By: Kathryn Casey
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The Serial Killer Whisperer
- How One Man's Tragedy Helped Unlock the Deadliest Secrets of the World's Most Terrifying Killers
- By: Pete Earley
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 13 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From New York Times best-selling author Pete Earley: the strange but true story of a man who suffers a traumatic brain injury and as a result is given the ability to converse with the world's most terrifying criminals.
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The Banality of Evil
- By Cynthia on 09-08-13
By: Pete Earley
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The Evil That Men Do
- FBI Profiler Roy Hazelwood's Journey into the Minds of Sexual Predators
- By: Stephen G. Michaud, Roy Hazelwood
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twenty-two years in the FBI, 16 of them as a member of the Bureau's Behavioral Science Unit. Roy Hazelwood, like many investigators, has seen it all. But unlike most, he's gone further into the dark and twisted psyches of serial killers and sadistic sexual offenders and has emerged as one of the world's foremost experts on the sexual criminal. Acclaimed true-crime writer Stephen G. Michaud takes you into the heart of Hazelwood's work through dozens of startling cases, including those of the Lonely Heart Killer, the "Ken and Barbie" killings, and the Atlanta Child Murders.
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Always learning!
- By T. Barrett on 09-10-19
By: Stephen G. Michaud, and others
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Cruel Death
- By: M. William Phelps
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Erika Sifrit was once a high school basketball star and an honors student. Then she married Navy SEAL Benjamin Sifrit. Some say Erika was abused by "B.J." Some say she pulled his strings. But by the time they reached Ocean City, MD, Erika was packing a gun in her Coach bag and was caught in the grips of a new American death ride.
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Extremely poor reader.
- By Tyria Mendicino on 10-06-19
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My Life Among the Serial Killers
- Inside the Minds of the World's Most Notorious Murderers
- By: Helen Morrison M.D., Harold Goldberg
- Narrated by: Helen Morrison
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dr. Helen Morrison has profiled more than 80 serial killers around the world. What she has learned about them will shatter every assumption you've ever had about the most notorious killers known to man.
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Boring reader,boring writing
- By P. Minor on 02-03-08
By: Helen Morrison M.D., and others
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Zodiac
- The Shocking True Story of the Nation's Most Bizarre Mass Murderer
- By: Robert Graysmith
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After Jack the Ripper and before Son of Sam there was only one name their equal in terror: the deadly, elusive, and mysterious Zodiac. Beginning in 1968 the hooded mass murderer terrified the city of San Francisco and the Bay Area with a string of brutal killings. A sexual sadist, his pleasure was torture and murder.
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Interesting
- By Z on 05-19-06
By: Robert Graysmith
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Burned Alive
- A Shocking True Story of Betrayal, Kidnapping, and Murder
- By: Kieran Crowley
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Beautiful, bubbly, 20-year-old Kim Antonakos was returning to her New York City apartment after a night of clubbing with a friend. A business major with wild black hair, long polished fingernails, and a new Honda her loving father had bought her, Kim took good care of herself and looked forward to a bright future. But on her way home in the early morning darkness of that Ash Wednesday, Kim was abducted - and her mysterious kidnappers would be the last people to see her alive. Kim's father, wealthy computer executive Tommy Antonakos, launched a widespread search for his daughter.
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Well written..Great narrator...Sad, sad story
- By JBT3 on 02-01-19
By: Kieran Crowley
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The Pawn
- By: Steven James
- Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
- Length: 13 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Steven James' Christy Award-nominated crime thriller pits FBI Special Agent Bowers against a serial killer who enjoys torturing women. After visiting the mountain vistas where the murderer posed his dead victims, Bowers receives a taunting call from the "Illusionist." Although Bowers gets close, his insidious foe continues to elude him.
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Entertaining Enough, But Don't Listen Too Closely
- By Bill on 08-29-12
By: Steven James
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Bringing Adam Home
- The Abduction That Changed America
- By: Les Standiford, Joe Matthews
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Before Adam Walsh there were no faces on milk cartons, no Amber Alerts, no National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, no federal databases of crimes against children, no pedophile registry. His 1981 abduction and murder, unsolved for over a quarter of a century, forever changed America.
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Well-told from the Law Enforcement Perspective
- By Jackie Cross on 03-12-11
By: Les Standiford, and others
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Dead Connection
- Ellie Hatcher, Book 1
- By: Alafair Burke
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Homicide detective Flann McIlroy is convinced that someone is using the lure of the internet and the promise of love to launch a killing spree against the women of New York City. To catch the killer, he calls up Detective Ellie Hatcher. She must enter a high-tech world where no one is who they appear to be. When the FirstDate killer begins to mimic the monster who destroyed her father, Ellie knows the game has become personal for him.
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Good introduction to author and character
- By bonnie on 09-01-09
By: Alafair Burke
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Before Alex Marzano-Lesnevich begins a summer job at a law firm in Louisiana, working to help defend men accused of murder, they think their position is clear. The child of two lawyers, Alex is staunchly anti-death penalty. But the moment convicted murderer Ricky Langley’s face flashes on the screen as Alex reviews old tapes—the moment they hear him speak of his crimes—they are overcome with the feeling of wanting him to die. Shocked by their reaction, Alex digs deeper and deeper into the case.
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- By Margaret on 05-22-17
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Cruel Deception
- The True Story of Multiple Murder and Two Devastated Families (St. Martin's True Crime Library)
- By: Gregg Olsen
- Narrated by: Kevin Pierce
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In and out of hospitals since birth, angelic nine-month-old Morgan Reid finally succumbed to what appeared to be sudden infant death syndrome. Morgan's Texas-born mother, Tanya, a nurse and devoted wife, pulled up stakes with her grieving husband, Jim, and moved on. It was the best way to put the past behind them. Until their son, Michael, a boy who by all accounts was terrified of his mother, began showing signs of the same affliction that stole the life of his baby sister....
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Deadly Mystery
- By Judy on 06-07-22
By: Gregg Olsen
What listeners say about Unmasked
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- Feather Timothy Rj
- 07-03-23
Interesting story horrendous narration.
Another example of why some authors should NOT narrate their own work sometimes.
Really bad, stilted narration, clearly he isn’t used to it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Siri Pritam Khalsa
- 08-13-22
Unmasked
Agreed he talks allot about himself, his cases, his marriage and the hardships of his life - but he’s engaging enough to make it ok.. I listened to the end and don’t regret buying the book
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jeremy Maxwell
- 02-08-23
After all this time…
I’d been so interested knowing the full story after following multiple podcasts and appearances, It all comes full circle.
First, so glad to hear his story in his own voice. Second, the construction of the work leads and bobs, returns to tie threads together.
Over time I’ve become tired of true crime. However, having lived in contemporaneous eras, the book and timeline of the news is entirely relatable to my own understanding and gripping by effect.
So personal too, the exposure of his personal relevance and diligence to his work, the travails of family life— very commendable despite his loss and wins.
I highly recommend this piece to anyone interested in true contemporary crime.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jennifer Jones
- 05-02-22
A Compartmentalizing Champion
I have always admired Paul Holes from when I first heard about him, I'm not even sure when that was but it may have been in Michelle McNamara's book 'I'll be Gone in the Dark'. His dogged analytical determination makes him an incredible detective. What I was most surprised by, though, in this book, are the amount of things I related to. He candidly talks about his life and his coping with his life and his nature. I have always described compartmentalizing as a skill that is double-edged. It can equip you to be able to tackle anything, but can also separate you from being able to acknowledge blatant truths about yourself, and keep you completely locked up emotionally at times. It is very vital to understand the ways in which it is used for good and for bad and he does an incredible job telling the story of how this trait for him has been both a stepping stone and a stumbling block. Great read.
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- michele
- 05-01-22
Poignant Memoir
This is the story of a gifted and passionate investigator and the raw truth of what it costs to have the gift. The stories of success, the struggles and sometimes heartbreak of the journey make this book a must listen. And I say must listen because the dulcet tones of Paul Holes should not be missed!
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- Marci Smith
- 04-30-22
Incredible story
Paul’s work is amazing. His way of making you feel as if you were there along with him as he solved crimes is fascinating and intriguing. It had its moments of repetitiveness but was still an overall great book. His openness about his life brought great insight and admiration for the work he does. Thanks Paul for letting your fans have a small peak inside your life.
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- Susan
- 05-03-22
Determination and Commitment
Paul Holes has written a book not everyone can listen to or appreciate. I am in awe of his dogged determination and commitment to face the most frightening and gruesome crimes and work to see justice for victims and their families. It’s a shame that it has cost him personally to hold all the tragedy and grief. I wish him well as his life moves on. Doesn’t sound like he plans to abandon his gift for solving the difficulties and baffling crimes. Thank you, Paul.
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- Marsha
- 05-15-22
Excellent and raw background information!
I appreciate Paul sharing how this case affected his personal life. His dedication is amazing.
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- eden
- 06-19-22
Can't stop listening!
I couldn't put this book down. I heard Paul's interview on Megyn Kelly's GSK podcast and I was SO excited to dig into this book. Amazing!
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- StylesGirl
- 05-28-22
Best Audible Listen Ever!
This has by far been the best read Audible book ever. Not only is the book incredibly well written but even better when able to relax and listen. I appreciate Paul’s honesty throughout the story.
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