You Can't Be Serious
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Narrated by:
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Kal Penn
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By:
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Kal Penn
About this listen
The star of the Harold and Kumar franchise, House, and Designated Survivor recounts why he rejected the advice of his aunties and guidance counselors and, instead of becoming a doctor or “something practical,” embarked on a surprising journey that has included confronting racism in Hollywood, meeting his future husband, and working in the Obama administration, in this “incredibly joyful and insightful” (Kiefer Sutherland) memoir.
You Can’t Be Serious is a series of funny, consequential, awkward, and ridiculous stories from Kal Penn’s idiosyncratic life. It’s about being the grandson of Gandhian freedom fighters, and the son of immigrant parents: people who came to this country with very little and went very far—and whose vision of the American dream probably never included their son sliding off an oiled-up naked woman in the raunchy Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder…or getting a phone call from Air Force One as Kal flew with the country’s first Black president.
“By turns hilarious, poignant, and inspiring” (David Axelrod, New York Times bestselling author), Kal reflects on the most exasperating and rewarding moments from his journey so far. He pulls back the curtain on the nuances of opportunity and racism in the entertainment industry and recounts how he built allies, found encouragement, and dealt with early reminders that he might never fit in. He describes his initially unpromising first date with his now-fiancé Josh, involving an 18-pack of Coors Light and an afternoon of watching NASCAR. And of course, he reveals how, after a decade and a half of fighting for and enjoying successes in Hollywood, he made the terrifying but rewarding decision to take a sabbatical from a fulfilling acting career for an opportunity to serve his country as an Obama White House aide.
Above all, You Can’t Be Serious shows that everyone can have more than one life story. The book “is insightful, funny, and instructive for anyone who’s ever grappled with how they fit into the American dream” (Ronan Farrow, New York Times bestselling author), and demonstrates that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have many more choices than those presented to you. And okay, yes, it’s also about how Kal accidentally (and very stupidly) accepted an invitation to take the entire White House Office of Public Engagement to a strip club—because, let’s be honest, that’s the kind of stuff you really want to hear about.
©2021 Bhai, Inc. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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"Penn has created a unique, honest performance, very different from the standard celebrity tell-all. This is an enjoyable and informative listen delivered by a pop-culture figure who's all grown up." — AudioFile Magazine
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- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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From the award-winning entrepreneur USA Today named one of the twenty-one most influential Blacks in technology comes an empowering, bracingly honest, entertaining blueprint for success in life and work—including the true story of what really happened to MoviePass—straight from the cofounder and former CEO himself.
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Thoroughly enjoyed this fascinating memoir
- By Carla M Fisher on 12-14-24
By: Stacy Spikes
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The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Top of the Rock
- Inside the Rise and Fall of Must See TV
- By: Warren Littlefield, T. R. Pearson
- Narrated by: Bob Balaban
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Warren Littlefield was the NBC President of Entertainment who oversaw the Peacock Network’s rise from also-ran to a division that generated a billion dollars in profits. In this fast-paced and exceptionally entertaining oral history, Littlefield and NBC luminaries including Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Kelsey Grammer, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, Julianna Marguiles, Anthony Edwards, Noah Wylie, Debra Messing, Jack Welch, Jimmy Burrows, Helen Hunt, and Dick Wolf vividly recapture the incredible era of Must See TV.
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Nostalgic Look at NBC in the 90's
- By Jill on 10-10-12
By: Warren Littlefield, and others
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Conversations with My Agent (and Set Up, Joke, Set Up, Joke)
- By: Rob Long
- Narrated by: Rob Long
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Barely out of film school, Rob Long struck the jackpot and landed a job on the phenomenally successful TV sitcom Cheers. However, with the demise of the show, Long was faced with the question, "Is there life after Cheers?" Mercilessly witty about the daunting process of setting up a new series and getting it on air, these two audiobooks tell the absurd tale of what came next.
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The writers should run the business
- By Charles on 04-21-23
By: Rob Long
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Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
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Dynomite!
- Good Times, Bad Times…Our Times - A Memoir
- By: Jimmie Walker, Sal Manna
- Narrated by: Jimmie Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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>Born into the violence of South Bronx ghetto life, the comic pioneer of TV’s Good Times fame offers a hilarious and politically charged review of his career as one of television’s first hugely successful Black stars. From opening for the Black Panthers and getting his first Tonight Show spot to becoming the first “Black” TV sitcom star, having comedians David Letterman and Jay Leno writing jokes for him, recording number-one comedy albums, and opening for rock n’ roll bands in 50,000 seat stadiums, Walker’s career hit all the highs.
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An transparent story of a socially but funny American icon.
- By John Lucasey on 05-08-21
By: Jimmie Walker, and others
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Nevertheless
- A Memoir
- By: Alec Baldwin
- Narrated by: Alec Baldwin
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the most accomplished and outspoken actors today chronicles the highs and lows of his life in this beautifully written, candid memoir.
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Embarrassingly petty
- By Stacey Robinson on 09-20-18
By: Alec Baldwin
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Seinfeldia
- How a Show About Nothing Changed Everything
- By: Jennifer Keishin Armstrong
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Comedians Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld never thought anyone would watch their silly little sitcom about a New York comedian sitting around talking to his friends. NBC executives didn't think anyone would watch either, but they bought it anyway, hiding it away in the TV dead zone of summer. But against all odds, viewers began to watch, first a few and then many, until nine years later nearly 40 million Americans were tuning in weekly.
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This bad narration is making me thirsty...
- By Audio Gra Gra on 10-06-16
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We Had a Little Real Estate Problem
- The Unheralded Story of Native Americans & Comedy
- By: Kliph Nesteroff
- Narrated by: Kliph Nesteroff
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one of the most reliable jokes in Charlie Hill’s stand-up routine: “My people are from Wisconsin. We used to be from New York. We had a little real estate problem.” In We Had a Little Real Estate Problem, acclaimed comedy historian Kliph Nesteroff focuses on one of comedy’s most significant and little-known stories: how, despite having been denied representation in the entertainment industry, Native Americans have influenced and advanced the art form.
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Amazing book!
- By Gregg Anderson on 03-22-21
By: Kliph Nesteroff
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Every Day I'm Hustling
- By: Vivica A. Fox, Kevin Carr O'Leary
- Narrated by: Vivica A. Fox
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Vivica A. Fox is a dynamo who has created a lasting career on her own, through sheer, roll-up-your-sleeves DIY hustle. Every Day I'm Hustling is a personal book with a message Fox passionately believes in: that you make your own luck, that you never ever wake up in the morning thinking somebody's going to call you and offer you that part or ask you out on that date that's going to change your life, that you have to wake up and put on your longest eyelashes and fiercest heels and go out and make your life happen yourself.
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Loved it!
- By colette on 04-09-18
By: Vivica A. Fox, and others
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I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!
- By: Tom Bergeron
- Narrated by: Tom Bergeron
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!, Tom elaborates on the process by which he is able to sit calmly and patiently, without being distracted, at any time, no matter how hectic, as well as respond quickly (and hilariously) when Marie Osmond faints at his feet on live TV. Haven't seen it? Check it out on YouTube. The man is always in control.
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A wonderful "read"
- By Chrys on 04-29-09
By: Tom Bergeron
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Homey Don't Play That!
- The Story of In Living Color and the Black Comedy Revolution
- By: David Peisner
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 13 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Few television shows revolutionized comedy as profoundly or have had such an enormous and continued impact on our culture as In Living Color. Inspired by Richard Pryor, Carol Burnett, and Eddie Murphy, Keenen Ivory Wayans created a television series unlike any that had come before it. In Living Color shaped American culture in ways both seen and unseen. Now, Homey Don't Play That! reveals the complete, captivating story of how In Living Color overcame enormous odds to become a major, zeitgeist-seizing hit.
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Wow, that sucked......
- By Just W on 10-11-18
By: David Peisner
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Had to pull over I was laughing so hard
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Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
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Good until it turned political
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Over the course of a 30-year career, Eddie Izzard has proven himself to be a creative chameleon, inhabiting the stage and film and television screens with an unbelievable fervor. Born in Yemen and raised in Ireland, Wales, and postwar England, he lost his mother at the age of six. In his teens he dropped out of university and took to the streets of London as part of a two-man escape act; when his partner went on vacation, Izzard kept busy by inventing a one-man act, and thus a career was ignited.
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My three least favorite words: "End of footnote."
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This book is the shit!
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Mixed Plate
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Good listen, but much profanity
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Still Foolin' 'Em
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Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like "Buying the Plot" and "Nodding Off," Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life.
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Disarmingly Honest
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The Answer Is...
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Longtime Jeopardy! host and television icon Alex Trebek reflects on his life and career. The book combines illuminating personal anecdotes with Trebek’s thoughts on a range of topics, including marriage, parenthood, education, success, spirituality, and philanthropy. Trebek also addresses the questions he gets asked most often by Jeopardy! fans, such as what prompted him to shave his signature mustache, his insights on legendary players like Ken Jennings and James Holzhauer, and his opinion of Will Ferrell’s Saturday Night Live impersonation.
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AMAZING.
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When I Was Your Age
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Kenan Thompson is Saturday Night Live’s longest-ever-serving cast member and a star of such pioneering sketches as “Black Jeopardy” and is hugely beloved thanks to a tidal wave of nostalgic fans who grew up on early 2000s classics All That, Good Burger, and Kenan & Kel on Nickelodeon. He’s also a dad (to two girls) in his mid-40s living in suburbia, and whose universal, relatable, family-friendly humor has created unbelievable appeal and engagement from fans from middle America to coastal elites. Becoming a dad sucked the cool right out of him—and he's OK with that!
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An incredible storyteller
- By K. Brown on 01-07-24
By: Kenan Thompson
What listeners say about You Can't Be Serious
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ag
- 11-04-21
The book is so much more
I don’t understand, the hyper focused all over the news about his sexuality and coming out in the book. The book has so much more to offer he is so much more than his sexuality. Hearing the behind the scenes to the white house and Hollywood and how hard he work to get to where he is now should also be part of the headlines. The racism is something many of us know and it’s still happening, but hearing his personal struggles and how he tells the story makes you feel like you are there in that moment wishing you could do something about it. He is a great story teller and funny of course.
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21 people found this helpful
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- J. Bartlett
- 12-01-21
I laughed until I had a childish accident!!
I want to have Kal over for dinner, and tell him to bring his parents and Josh. It is just the most charming book by one of the very best Americans ever born here. I almost never feel a kinship with people I never met, but Kal speaks to my heart like we were siblings…but I am waaaaaay older than him. I started to be a bit sad as I neared the end of the book…like you feel when you find that a good friend is moving to the opposite coast. Kal has a good heart, a razor-sharp wit, a face you fell in love with at first glance, and a world view that gives me the type of hope for our planet that I have seldom seen. Treat yourself to a most enjoyable ride with Kal, and remember to savor the sweet, crazy, goofy, intelligent, earnest, and hysterically funny world of this adorable man.
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So many laughs and great stories!
This book had me laughing out loud so many times! I was inspired by Kal's stories of working in the White House. Kal is truly a great storyteller and is respectful even to those he had disagreements with. I also enjoyed learning about his experiences breaking cultural expectations, from what he should major in at college to how he should play a role for film. What a great read.
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- Teresa
- 12-12-21
Just incredible
Another amazing memoir. Kal Penn is articulate, smart, funny, and honest. It’s been a pleasure to follow his life endeavours and I feel I have learned a lot about certain topics such as diversity, public service, Hollywood lifestyle, and of course, inside jokes at the White House haha. Great book.
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- Dana
- 06-05-22
Funny and Engaging
I loved every minute of this book. I am so glad Kal read it himself!
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- Jackie K.
- 06-10-22
Awesome!
This was one of the best stories I’ve ever heard.
Kal Penn is so dynamic, funny and moving. His story is amazing. I loved every minute of this book.
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- Travis
- 07-11-22
loved it
tears and smiles throughout. enjoyed Kalpen's personal reading of it very much and glad he decided to do that.
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- Aaron
- 12-02-22
Hashtag Sexy Face
Kalpen, what an amazing book, the best part was your voice reading it. I found times sitting in my truck waiting to get out to not miss anything, also wearing my Bluetooth headphone to listen at work. You’ve led a great life, and it sucks you’ve had the roadblocks, glad it didn’t stop you!
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- Michael Naples
- 08-06-22
Honest And Insightful
I throughly enjoyed the glimpse into Kal Penn’s life and memories. I felt the disappointments, enjoyed the acknowledgments and cheered the successes he shares in his memoir. I am grateful he narrated the book leaving me feeling that he was here in the room sharing his life with my husband and I.
Definitely worthy of anyone’s time and very enjoyable!
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- spokane
- 06-11-23
Great read
Funny, moving and well written. I really enjoyed listening. I would love to hear some of the of the d*ck jokes that I am sure were edited out.
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