You're Not the Problem
The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal
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Narrated by:
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Helen Villiers
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Katie McKenna
About this listen
Two popular psychotherapists explore narcissism in family of origin, unpacking the fallout from being raised by narcissistic parents, and offering strategies for how to heal.
Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You're Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level. The legacy and the damage caused by narcissistic and emotional abuse will carry on, perpetuated by trauma and repeating cycles, unless we learn to recognize and understand it, unless we as individuals and as a society learn how to challenge it and stop its vicious cycle of destruction—which is what this book sets out to do.
This book will explain and illustrate:
- How to recognize emotional abuse in family relationships: its language and behaviors
- The immediate and long term impact of these behaviors
- Strategies for healing
- How to avoid repeating these behaviors
Using client narratives and sample scripts, Villiers and McKenna offer a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at our familial patterns—and how we can break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim our lives.
©2024 Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna (P)2024 Hachette GoListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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21 Days to Believe in Yourself
- By: Michelle Poler
- Narrated by: Michelle Poler
- Length: 1 hr and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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21 Days to Believe In Yourself creates a space for people to take a look inside and, little by little, dare to bring what they find to the surface. By asking the right questions, the audience will get in touch with their most authentic selves and from a place of self-acceptance, fully own who they really are.
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Incredibly uplifting short story, giving comfort to try and feeling safe while doing it.
- By Kindle Customer on 12-26-24
By: Michelle Poler
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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Natural Rapid Weight Loss, Lose Weight Faster with Hypnosis, Meditation, and Affirmations
- The Sleep Learning System
- By: Joel Thielke
- Narrated by: Joel Thielke
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
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Naturally lose weight fast and get the body you've been wanting. Stop old habits in their tracks, shed pounds now, and feel amazing. Rapid weight loss is yours today with this powerful guided meditation program from the Sleep Learning System and world-renowned hypnotherapist Joel Thielke.
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My new favorite hypnosis audio!
- By Penny on 04-03-16
By: Joel Thielke
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
By: Mark Manson
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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How to Be a 3% Man
- By: Corey Wayne
- Narrated by: Corey Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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My book covers both the dating world and long-term relationships. You will learn how to meet and date the type of women you've always dreamed of. The best part is you can do this while remaining who you truly are inside. The book teaches you how to create sexual attraction in women and get women to chase and pursue you! It takes you step by step with easy-to-follow instructions. You will be able to meet women anytime, anyplace, and anywhere. This will give you choice with women.
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3% MAN
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-17
By: Corey Wayne
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Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
- By: Christopher Canwell
- Narrated by: Christopher Canwell, Jackson Parker
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In Atomic Attraction Christopher Canwell takes us on a journey through the dark waters of attraction. What turns women on? What makes them choose one man over another? And how can you become truly desirable and attractive? This book answers these questions by combining the latest scientific research with real-life case studies to show you, the listener, how to ignite the fires of attraction and captivate those around you.
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Disappointing.
- By Rose Conley on 01-19-20
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Will the Drama Ever End?
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A pioneer on the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse, Karyl McBride, PhD, has the answer for anyone desperate for help in overcoming the damage of being raised in a family headed by a narcissistic parent. Divided into three sections, McBride explores the insidious way a narcissistic environment is developed in a family, how a narcissistic parent damages a child’s emotional growth and ability to trust, and finally, how to not only move on but become truly free.
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Great book but worksheet?
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Escaping Emotional Abuse
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Excellent Audiobook - Suitable for Anyone
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What if emotional abuse is so hidden that its effects remain unchallenged for decades, masquerading as personal failings? Believing Me is an emotionally gripping memoir that gives language to the hidden and ineffable nature of childhood trauma and how it can imprint on a person, resulting in fractured self-esteem, addictions, perfectionism, and a string of abusive relationships.
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Someone else caused all my problems
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THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
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Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Lindsay C. Gibson draws on more than thirty years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist and outlines a unique approach to treating a common syndrome that shapes the lives of so many people seeking therapy. Gibson shares her perspectives on the goals of therapy, and what therapists need to know in order to provide the most effective interventions.
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Great book but worksheet?
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Excellent Audiobook - Suitable for Anyone
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With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 best-seller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters - and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.
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Very Powerful. Deserves 6 stars!
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Validation
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It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
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I needed this
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Surviving and escaping a toxic or abusive relationship can often only be part of the struggle. Long after, survivors often struggle to heal; your self‑esteem may be damaged, you may feel rage and betrayal, and you may punish and/or blame yourself. The author of Gaslighting and specialist in toxic behavior, narcissistic abuse, and personality disorders, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis has seen it all—and she is here to help you understand how to move forward.
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Made sense
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Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!
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Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists
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Those who have had a narcissistic parent can testify to how damaging it can be to one's psyche. Narcissistic parents lack empathy, show a severe sense of entitlement to micromanage the lives of their children, and often subject their children to neglect, as well as emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. From the unique challenges daughters of narcissistic fathers face to the ways in which adverse childhood experiences affect our brains, Shahida Arabi's insightful essays resonate deeply with those who have been raised by narcissistic parents.
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Incredibly helpful book for survivors of narcissistic abuse
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The New Rules of Attachment
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Did you know that attachment style impacts more than romantic relationships? As it turns out, most of us are thinking about Attachment Theory all wrong, and triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho is here to set the record straight.
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Escaping the Narcissist
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In "Escaping the Narcissist," Louise Maxwell offers a compassionate and practical guide for those seeking to break free from the toxic grip of narcissistic abuse. This transformative book provides listeners with the tools they need to heal and recover, empowering them to reclaim their lives and rebuild their sense of self-worth.
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A Comforting Book to Heal from A Narcissist
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Power
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Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation - psychological violence on steroids.
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A “Powerful” book
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"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
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Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult, or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized.
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Excellent reality check
- By Lisa Rose on 10-11-19
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Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship
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When a relationship with a narcissist ends, the caretaking partner is often left confused, deeply hurt, and often still emotionally connected, while the narcissist seems to easily move on to the next relationship. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship offers guidance about what to expect as the relationship unravels and how to cope with the fallout. It also helps the reader learn to truly disengage and move through the grief process.
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Finally...
- By megan on 01-16-18
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
- Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
- By: Debbie Mirza
- Narrated by: Debbie Mirza
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
- By Mojo on 12-19-18
By: Debbie Mirza
What listeners say about You're Not the Problem
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Isabelle L.
- 07-17-24
Validating and Helpful
Gives clear, relatable examples while explaining behaviors and providing constructive means for growth with enough information to provide a thorough understanding — without being too clinical to follow. I felt like I got a lot from this book.
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- Tracy S
- 04-26-24
Great and helpful
Really liked this- gave examples, exercises, and well put together. Great help for anyone in this situation
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-16-24
Life changing
So much information to absorb in a short amount of time. So I will be reading this again, at least one more time. This book is life changing. I would suggest anyone that has had to love with a narcissistic family member or spouse to dive in!
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- Maxine Maxwell
- 12-03-24
Great
Very good book
Could see myself and my sister in the stories
Very compassionate authors
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- Anonymous User
- 04-12-24
Helps those of us with Narc family
Love this book and the authors. Helping the world heal. As a daughter of a NM this has helped so much.
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- david irace
- 04-12-24
amazing work
this book is a wonderful guide to understand narcissist behavior and to heal from the wounds it can cause
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-28-24
Finally, healing
I’ve listened to a lot of books about my abusive childhood. This is the first one that actually helped me begin healing by validating the struggles with how to fu@& do it. The exercises in ch 10 are bookmarked!! The describe myself activity in particular broke down a wall for me. I am not what my family describes me as and the people I love being around see me for who I truly am. Thank you, authors for giving that gift to me. My self hatred was not my fault, their voices were just too loud and hateful. I was never the problem. 🥹
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- Audible Listener
- 04-11-24
Highly reccomend
There is a good deal of information in this book, and it's presented in a way that is both compassionate and easy to understand. I felt encouraged, validated, challenged even called out in some instances. Great experience, healthy learns, and cause for reflection.
I'm definitely going to listen to this again.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-17-24
Life changing
Excellent resource for understanding and healing narcissistic abuse. Recommend for the children and partners of individuals with NPD.
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- Kyle Crist
- 05-04-24
Renewal through reflection
This book is incredibly helpful. It is very challenging to face trauma and open up our armor, but it is well worth it. If you are on the fence, perhaps because you don't think you experience was THAT bad, get the book.
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