Fifteen-year-olds require the ability to follow directions to get along at home and to succeed at school. Whether they are completing homework, following safety instructions, or showing their knowledge on tests, they will need to be able to follow directions. Though telling your teen to do something may seem simple enough, listening and engaging in several steps given in an instruction necessitates several brain functions in addition to motivational factors.

Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are working on understanding what it means to act responsibly. They are working to understand the rules and apply them in various settings. They are working on their independence. They increasingly care for their bodies (eating right, getting exercise). They are learning about relationships (managing their feelings and impulses, empathizing and working through conflict, being dependable, and keeping promises). They meet school requirements (manage homework and extracurriculars) and contribute to the household in which they live (do chores and cooperate with rules and expectations).

They are also working to define their identity. As they develop, as part of their growing self-awareness and self-management, they will test boundaries, forget things, and break rules. When they do, they require guidance on approaching a hurt relationship, revisiting missed obligations, and repairing harm. This is a normal part of their development and necessary for learning how to take responsibility.

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you can be deliberate in offering instructions to help your teen successfully follow directions. Understanding multiple-step directions engages their short-term and complex working memory, an executive function that requires practice and development over time. In the case of short-term memory, you might ask your teen, “Would you complete your homework before dinner, get your shower done after dinner, and be in bed by nine, please?” They need to remember those three items as they move on to their homework. In an academic setting, as another example, a teacher may say, “At the end of our class, I’ll give you time to take out your pencils, read the directions at the top of the page, and fill in only questions 3. and 5.” Students have to retain that information as the teacher moves on to other topics and also plan for what they will need to do when they come to the time when they have to implement the teacher’s instructions. This expectation utilizes complex working memory and can be challenging for students.^1^

Following directions can involve all five core social and emotional competencies[1] . Teens may need to be aware of their strengths and limitations (self-awareness) to complete the tasks given. They must use their self-management skills to wait and focus on what’s been instructed when necessary. They may require social awareness or empathy as they work to understand the needs, feelings, and thoughts of the one giving them directions. They will use their relationship skills by listening actively to what’s required. They will also use their responsible decision-making skills to decide whether and how to follow through with a request or instruction.

Some parents and those in a parenting role may feel frustrated and even angry when their teens do not follow their directions as they requested. A parent may perceive that a teen who is not following their directions is defiant or disrespectful, but in reality, there may be another reason for the behavior. There are several factors to consider when a teen does not follow a direction. When faced with this situation, a parent may ask themselves:

- Does your teen have the total capacity and skills to follow the directions?

- Does your teen...

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and setting up a daily homework routine provides a perfect opportunity.

Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are adapting their early school-age learning habits to meet their more demanding workload. They are establishing critical learning habits that will extend throughout their school years, including how they approach research and study. In addition to managing daily homework assignments, fifteen-to-nineteen-year-olds will be assigned longer-term projects. These may include research, writing, group coordination, and reading novels or longer nonfiction works. Frequently, teachers leave the planning and organizing of those projects up to the students. In these situations, teens may be challenged by tackling new, more complex content and figuring out how to work on the project over time. This can be a great test of patience.

For most teens, homework is a nightly and ongoing reality. Research shows that a parent or someone in a parenting role plays a key role. Teens with a parent or someone in a parenting role supporting their learning at home and engaged in their school community have more consistent school attendance, better social skills, and higher grade point averages and test scores than those without. ^1^ Indeed, the best predictor of students’ academic achievement is parental involvement.

Yet, there are challenges. You may discover outdated and incomplete assignments crumpled in your teen’s backpack. Or, your teen may procrastinate on a long-term project until it becomes a crisis the night before it’s due. Questioning their work may result in arguments when they have other goals.

While getting a regular homework routine going might be challenging, it can be a positive experience and promote valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support a homework routine.

Teens and emerging young adults are managing a larger and more complex workload, new study skills, and longer-term projects. This will take a whole new level of planning and organization. Layered in with the day-to-day school assignments, there may also be future academic goals they want to reach (like going to college), which will require planning and incremental action steps. Schoolwork and school goals can become a daily challenge if you don’t create regular routines with input from your teen in advance, clarify roles and responsibilities, and establish a plan for success.

Today, in the short term, homework routines can create

● greater cooperation and motivation

● greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you each implement your respective roles and feel set up for success

● trust in each other that you have the competence to complete your responsibilities with practice and care

● less frustration due to better organization, space, and resources

● opportunities to learn about your teen’s school curriculum

● added daily peace of mind

Tomorrow, in the long term, your teen

● builds skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting

● builds skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence

● gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency

● develops positive learning habits that contribute directly to school success

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your influence is pivotal in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to foster a healthy parent-teen relationship while instilling confidence in your teen to persist toward their goals and succeed in all areas of life. Everyone faces challenges, yet mistakes and failures are necessary for your fifteen-year-old’s learning and development. With your guidance and support, mistakes become a tool for learning and growing confidence.

The key to any parenting issue is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you as you address any issue with your teen.

As you address any issues, you build the foundation for your teen’s development.

Your focus on cultivating a safe, trusting relationship and promoting life skills can create:

● greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment

● trust in each other

● a sense of well-being and motivation

Engaging in these five steps is an investment that builds your skills as an effective parent or someone in a parenting role to use on any issues and builds essential skills that will last a lifetime for your teen. Throughout this tool, there are opportunities for teens to:

● become more self-aware and deepen their social awareness

● exercise their self-management skills

● build their relationship skills

● demonstrate and practice responsible decision-making and problem-solving

This five-step process helps you and your teen with any issue. It builds critical life skills in your teen. The same process can be used to address other specific parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).

Whether it’s your fifteen-year-old confiding in you that they are scared of learning to drive, your seventeen-year-old in high school crying that they have no close friends or your nineteen-year-old avoiding the pile of college applications, these steps and associated questions can help you support your teen.

Tip: These steps are best done when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush.

Tip: Intentional communication[2] and healthy parenting relationships[3] will support these steps.

Based on your teen’s development milestones, you will want to focus on the following as you move through the five steps:

● Support your teen’s desire and capacity to evolve into adulthood and the changes that come with it. Focus on identifying and setting healthy boundaries as they grow.

● Continue to build confidence and healthy practices around “self-talk” and how to reframe negative self-talk.

● Support your teen’s preparation for their goals beyond high school and encourage them to consider their choices, the resulting consequences, and responsible decision-making.

● Give your teen space to determine how much or how little they need your support and input. If they need it, give them a chance to figure out things independently, try and fail at things, and support the exploration of lessons learned. Remind them you are there if and when they need...