As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your child’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-child relationship, and setting up a daily homework routine provides a perfect opportunity.

Five to ten-year-olds are in the process of establishing critical learning habits, including how they approach homework, that will extend throughout their school years. For most children, homework is a nightly reality. Children with a parent or someone in a parenting role supporting learning at home and engaging in their school community have more consistent school attendance, better social skills, and higher grade point averages and test scores than those without such support. ^1^ Indeed, parental involvement best predicts students’ academic achievement.

Yet, there are challenges. “I don’t want to do homework. I haven’t had any time to play,” might be a frequent complaint you hear from your seven-year-old. Your child may push back when they have other goals in mind. Their goal - “How can I play longer?” - is typical.

A National Center on Families Learning study found that 60% of American families struggle to help children with homework.^2^ More than 25% admit that they struggle because they are too busy, up from just over 20% in 2013. Other reasons parents identified for having trouble with helping with homework were not understanding the subject matter (34%) and pushback from their kids (41%).^3^

While getting a regular homework routine going might be a challenge, it can be a joyful experience that promotes valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support a homework routine in cooperative ways that avoid a daily battle.

Five and six-year-olds will be brand new to the homework experience, and you will have an opportunity to establish positive habits that will stay with them for years. Seven, eight, nine, and ten-year-olds will bring new academic challenges home, like reading with competence and learning fractions. Additionally, they may be expected to complete long-term projects. This will take a whole new level of planning and organization. In addition to reinforcing the lessons taught in the classroom, homework teaches students essential executive function skills, including the ability to plan, organize, prioritize, and execute tasks. Homework is a reality for most students, and assignments can become challenging if regular routines are not established. Today, in the short term, establishing effective homework habits will create

● greater cooperation and motivation

● more significant opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you implement your respective roles and feel set up for success

● trust in each other that you have the competence to complete your responsibilities with practice and care

● reduced frustrations from a lack of organization, space, or resources

● learning about your child’s school curriculum

Tomorrow, in the long term, homework helps your child

● build skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting

● build skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence

● gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency

● develop positive learning habits that contribute directly to school success

This five-step process helps your family establish a homework routine and builds essential skills in your

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your influence is pivotal in your child’s success. There are intentional ways to foster a healthy parent-child relationship while instilling confidence in your child to persist toward their goals and succeed in all areas of life. Everyone faces challenges, yet mistakes and failures are necessary for your five-year-old’s learning and development. With your guidance and support, mistakes become a tool for learning and growing confidence.

The key to any parenting issue is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your child’s needs. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you as you address any issue with your child.

As you address any issues, you build the foundation for your child’s development.

Your focus on cultivating a safe, trusting relationship and promoting life skills can create:

● greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment

● trust in each other

● a sense of well-being and motivation

Engaging in these five steps is an investment that builds your skills as an effective parent or someone in a parenting role to use on any issues and builds essential skills that will last a lifetime for your child. Throughout this tool, there are opportunities for children to:

● become more self-aware and deepen their social awareness

● exercise their self-management skills

● build their relationship skills

● demonstrate and practice responsible decision-making and problem-solving

This five-step process helps you and your child with any issue. It builds critical life skills in your child. The same process can be used to address other specific parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).

Whether it’s your child having difficulty meeting new friends or you are dealing with your feelings of inadequacy when trying to respond to your child’s frustration, these steps can be applied to any situation to support your child. You can tailor these questions and statements to match any arising issue.

Tip: These steps are best done when you and your child are not tired or in a rush.

Tip: Intentional communication[2] and healthy parenting relationships[3] will support these steps.

Based on your child’s development milestones, you will want to focus on the following as you move through the five steps:

● supporting child’s growing sense of autonomy - being able to do things or make basic decisions, like what to wear, on their own

● practicing consistency with expected behavior, rules, and consequences

● encouraging flexibility while supporting your child’s need for structure

● modeling positive social skills, responsible choices, and going easy on yourself when you make mistakes (noticing self-talk)

● supporting and offering ways to regulate strong emotions

Getting your child’s input will help you better understand their thoughts, feelings[4] , and challenges...

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your child’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-child relationship, and helping your five-year-old learn to deal with tantrums provides a perfect opportunity.

Children ages five to ten are in the process of learning about their strong feelings. They do not understand the full-body takeover that can occur when angry, hurt, or frustrated. A sense of a lack of control can be scary and add to the length and intensity of their upset.

Tantrums and meltdowns can be overwhelming for children and the adults in their lives. Learning how to deal with anger or upset without choosing destructive responses is critical. Understanding the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown will help parents and those in a parenting role properly guide their children through these intense times. Your support and guidance matter greatly.

Even though they may look like the same behaviors, tantrums and meltdowns are different and require different approaches to handle each.

Tantrums are

● a typical reaction or outburst to feeling anger or frustration

● a cry for attention or an inability to communicate

● within a child’s scope of awareness and control

● goal-oriented

A child throwing a tantrum is experiencing intense feelings and acting out in hopes of a desired outcome. Sensory meltdowns, like tantrums, are characterized by a child experiencing big feelings, but the difference is that the child is not acting out in search of a desired outcome.

Meltdowns are

● most common among children with sensory processing disorders, autism, or other medical issues who are easily overstimulated or cannot cope with emotional triggers such as fear or anxiety

● an instinctive survival reaction to being overstimulated or feeling distressed

● not goal-oriented, meaning they are not affected by a reward system

● long-lasting

● children may never grow out of them like they do tantrums

To a parent or someone in a parenting role, tantrums and meltdowns may seem like mischievous behaviors that the child needs to curb immediately. However, it is critical to remember that these outbursts are a child’s attempt to communicate something about their intense feelings. Parents and those in a parenting role can help guide their children through these feelings and teach them skills to manage them.

Parents’ recognition and understanding of tantrums and meltdowns are essential for teaching children how to recognize and handle their big feelings.

This tool is most applicable to parents handling children with tantrums. While many of the strategies for tantrums help children experiencing meltdowns, it is essential to note that meltdowns require immense patience, calm, and presence of mind to keep children safe. There are many helpful resources for parents of children with sensory processing challenges. A few resources about sensory meltdowns include:

● The Autism Speaks website has multiple articles and information on meltdowns. A simple search of “meltdowns” in the search bar brings up numerous options. https://www.autismspeaks.org/

● National Autistic Society, an organization in the United Kingdom, has a website that also provides multiple articles on meltdowns and dealing with anger and anxiety when “meltdowns” are...