There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't talk about.

Why don't they? Because a lot of women (myself included) hold a certain amount of shame around wanting it in the first place.

And what is the quality? It's an aspect of healthy masculinity that we don't often discuss, but we're putting front and center here.

I've also noticed that in every chick lit novel I've ever read (a version of romance), men exhibit this quality, and the women melt for it. When I myself read the books and these parts come up, my whole body relaxes.

This is a quality that builds immense emotional safety in a relationship, whether you're still in the dating phase or you're married. If you want to be her hero and have her feel truly safe with you, listen on!

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• "The women I was first attracted to were those I perceived as needing help, support, a savior."
• "The excess of the caregiver archetype is the martyr."
• "It’s about making the other person’s life just a little bit easier."
• "We don’t ask for it because we feel like we’re too much."
• "True nurturing is laying the groundwork around you — letting you grow in the fullness of yourself."

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Mentioned on this episode:

• One of our favorite songs: Banks by NEEDTOBREATHE
• Scott's organization, The Inspiring Men Project
• Dear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder

Ever felt intimidated when your woman was upset (about something that involved you)? Ever gotten defensive, stonewalled, or made her wrong -- "that's not what I meant, so you shouldn't feel that way"?

You're not alone!

And there's a high cost; this can be exhausting for you. Whether you're just dating or married, if you're at the mercy of her feelings, you likely feel out of control. You're only OK if she's OK. And you're not OK if she's not OK.

The truth is, holding space for a woman’s upset or hurt is one of the most profound ways you can love her. It also builds safety in a relationship in a way nothing else can.

Learn to do this skillfully, and you will experience true freedom in relationship. Bonus? You knowing how to hold her full range of expression will als leads to very hot sex. ;) When she feels deeply accepted and held, even in her "big" feelings, she will often open to you like a gorgeous, radiant flower.

When it comes to love relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed, long-term relationship, there's one place where you need to be skillful or it will all just fall apart.

It might not happen right away; you might get through the honeymoon period or even get married and it might be fine. But little by little, if this skill isn't developed and you as a couple can't "get there," you're very likely to end up in a sexless relationship, or a volatile one that you feel like you can't get out of.

Here we get vulnerable about what we've seen not work in this area, and what we've seen be uplifting and helpful.

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Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)