TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. While covid-19 concerns still abound, here at Clear View Retreat we are encouraged by hearing about the game nights, family dinners, puzzle times, and more. Families are spending less time arguing and more time building one another up.

Instead of the attitude of “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye,” families are choosing to make lemonade! We must CHOOSE to add the sweetness in our relationships, not just attack each other. One way to do this is to engage in active listening.

Last week, one of our sons pointed out how we were all getting testy with each other. We discussed fears & frustrations and irritations & needs brought on by the massive changes in our society at this time. Once I started verbalizing all the pieces, I realized how overwhelming it all felt; though beforehand, I would have said that the pandemic wasn’t really affecting me much. Facing the challenges and verbalizing them to someone who was actively listening has been freeing. After the discussion I mentioned that he had learned the skill of listening well. My son was incredulous. He said it was not a skill. YOU. JUST. LISTEN.

However, we never JUST listen. We can JUST hear, but we cannot JUST listen. Hearing is the physical act of receiving sound to your ear whereas listening is the act of paying attention to what someone is communicating to you. Even in American Sign Language, wherein hearing cannot occur, the person who is signing uses many physical signs as well as other nonverbal cues to convey their full meaning.

Listening involves a sender and a receiver. Noises and nonverbal cues can interrupt, enhance, or even change the message being conveyed. Additionally, each person has many thoughts, feelings, and experiences that are running through their heads as they try to process the message. Listening can be complicated at times.

Thus, Five Minute Families must choose to intentionally listen to one another to make sure relationships strengthen, especially during this potentially troubling time. Here are five suggestions to get you started.

1. Be attentive. Make eye contact and lovingly ask your child or spouse to do the same. Press pause and put down your device. Parents, this starts with you. Set the example. If it has not been a habit to have each person look up from their devices when speaking to one another, remember to be gentle and offer kind reminders that each person needs to do this.
2. Be aware of noises. Literal noises such as fans and music can cause your message to be interrupted. Figurative noises such as physical pain or distractions will interrupt your message, too.
3. Be aware of your nonverbal cues. These include facial expressions and gestures. One of the biggest nonverbal cues is your tone of voice, including pitch and volume. “I love you” (said sweetly and sincerely) is much different than “I love you.” (said sarcastically and loudly)
4. Practice “What I heard you say is…” Our oldest – who is home missing his senior year at university – helped me illustrate the point to our younger sons. I asked him to make a statement about anything that came to mind. He said, “Turkey Perky Jerky is the best jerky out there.” I responded, “Oh, so what I hear you saying is that you don’t like the jerky I make.” In a regular scenario, we each make statements of opinion all the time. Other people’s random statements impact us greatly at times. Without practicing “what I heard you say is…” statements, I could have responded, “Oh. Ok.” And then chosen to never make jerky again because “hey, why bother. He obviously doesn’t like the kind I make.” Active listening gives us insight into what we are thinking others are saying, and let’s them correct any mis-messaging.
5. Finally, realize that you do not have to fully understand or...

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. We come to you from Clear View Retreat – a non-profit organization that ministers to families in the norms and storms of life. The pandemic closures have caused numerous challenges for all of us, but we know that God will be glorified.

Amid this COVID chaos, many people have experienced fears and financial difficulties to name a few. Y’all, as Steve Austin of 180degreesministries and the book “Getting Your Life on Target” would say, “EVERYTHING is always all about God.”

“Everything is ALWAYS all about God.”

“Everything is always all about GOD.”

Now, Steve would have done it enough to stress each word, but you get the idea. Basically, we must choose this day whom we will serve. Five Minute Family, can you say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” even during a pandemic?

Does your family still live life and life abundantly? I asked my facebook friends on Saturday to share one word to describe their family life right now. While it is true that these times can be described as stressful, heartbreaking, and divided, almost 90% of the descriptions were positive, despite the shortages and concerns. Intentional (our personal favorite), cozy, sacred, home, and blessed were a few of them.

Most of them could be grouped into five categories. So, in the midst of the COVID CHAOS, we bring you the top five ways folks are “counting it all joy” as encouraged in James 1:2. We are using the word CHAOS for our top five categories acronym because all things – even covid chaos – work together for the good of those who love the Lord.

First in our acronym is C. Many people labeled their time as calm and peaceful. John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Five Minute Families, when we rest in God’s peace and allow the simplicity of the moment to bless us, we bring more to the world than we can with all our busy-ness.

One of the top two categories falls under H for happy and joyful. Being content in all different kinds of circumstances can be a challenge, but it is wonderful to hear how many families are striving hard after John 15:11 – “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” During this time, we should seek to create sweet memories that will last a lifetime.

Next is A. Some folks described their family life as adapting and adjusting. Being uncertain often brings out the worst in people, but most folks are allowing themselves to thrive in unusual spaces and places. Paul illustrated this in 1 Corinthians 9:19-20 – “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law.”

Most families are focused on the constructive elements of togetherness which brings us to the O in chaos – others. Romans 12:10 urges us to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” Using this time to reconnect with your family members, even the ones you are isolated away from, is extremely important. Making those intentional calls and video chats is vital to bonding and having a united, cohesive family.

Finally, we have S for supportive and protecting the needy. Galatians 6:2 tells us to “bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Church, realize that people are watching. As so many memes are illustrating, this is our time to show the world that the Church is not a building. We are God’s

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning’s Five Minute Family. If you would like to know more about Clear View Retreat, the sponsor of our time with you, please check out more information at clearviewretreat.org.

An article I read this morning referred to this period in history as “The Great Pause.” How apt a descriptor. The Great Pause. As we discussed last week, many families are seeing so many positives of this forced slow down. The Great Pause is giving us each a chance to reflect on what we really want out of life. Here is a quote from the article:

“From one citizen to another, I beg of you: Take a deep breath, ignore the deafening noise, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred (yes, sacred) opportunity … to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly proud. … We care deeply about one another. That is clear. That can be seen in every supportive Facebook post, in every meal dropped off for a neighbor, in every Zoom birthday party. … we want to define — on our own terms — what this country looks like in five, 10, 50 years. This is our chance to do that, the biggest one we have ever gotten. And the best one we’ll ever get. We can do that on a personal scale in our homes, in how we choose to spend our family time on nights and weekends, what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat, and what we choose to spend our dollars on and where.”

With that profound thought in mind, this week, and for the three weeks following, we would like to introduce you to each of the four sessions for a Clear View Retreat Family Camp weekend. We begin by encouraging families to take time to reflect on who they are. Each individual family member affects the others deeply. We are experiencing life together, which means we have a family identity.

Think for a moment on what your family likes to do together most. Do you play basketball (and those who don’t play love to watch and cheer you on)? Do you enjoy play board games together? Maybe your family acts, gardens, blacksmiths, crafts, travels… well, you get the idea.

How would you identify your family?

Having a family identity that allows us to look at each other’s uniqueness and still weave a story of togetherness is important. We don’t want to just take up space together. Remember Ephesians 4:16 applies to families, too: “From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building up itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.”

For example, our family… we are the Nestles. Our children are identified throughout our different communities as “the Nestle Boys.” We all love StarWars. But, maybe, like us, it will be hard at first to see what connects you together. The first time we had this discussion with our boys, they could not see a common thread. As they listed their own individual interests, we realized that we are each creative, though in different ways – AND supportive of each other’s creativity. So, we called ourselves The Creative Family. A couple we know call themselves geeks because they love movies and plays and reviewing those things together. They share a large portion of their family story by identifying as movie geeks.

Here are five questions you can ask to start figuring out what your family identity is:

1. What big family story we do we all like to tell?
2. What do we like to do together?
3. What do we all have in common?
4. What traditions do we each enjoy?
5. What do other people think of when they think of our family?

Be sure as you have this family discussion time, you focus on making sure everyone gets to share their opinion without judgment. (Remember our communication model and listening...

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. How has your week been? We pray that God’s presence has been apparent in your family life as you intentionally invest the time it takes to build a strong family.

Last week we began a multi-part introduction to Clear View Retreat’s Family Camp. We want to build families up, whether you are able to come visit us here or not, so we started with our session one in which we encouraged you to reflect on your family identity – to take time to find the common element that connects you to one another. We have had families at a CVR Family Camp say they are ‘The Football Family,’ ‘The Gaming Family,’ or ‘The Serving Family,’ to name a few. Now, we are going to assess where God is in the midst of our family identities.

When no one is watching, do we Christ-following families relate to each other like the world relates to each other? Think for a moment about the influences of television, movies, and more. There is the sarcastic, too pushy, over-the-top behaviors — all for a laugh or some reaction from the audience. Now, with social media, we all have an audience, ALL THE TIME. We can also have anonymity but we still have an audience. Whether we are the audience or we have an audience, we are influenced more and more by outside appearances. Remember, the world’s standards are not the same as the Lord’s.

Philippians 2:1-5 says, “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus.”

Simply put, we are to be like Christ. God created us for relationship, and He desires we exemplify Him in those relationships. Five Minute Families, take some time this week to imagine out loud what you think the ideal Christian family living today would look like if they fully followed biblical standards. Now, we are not encouraging legalistic behavior here, simply grace-filled hearts and attitudes.

As families take the time to assess their family life and attitudes, session 2 of CVR Family Camp dives first into a complete understanding of what intentional intimacy is. In fact, the key concept of everything we do in our family and in our ministry is intentional intimacy. So, what is that? Intentional is an adjective that describes something that is being “done on purpose” or something you deliberately choose to do. Intimacy means closeness or friendship. At Clear View Retreat we define the concept of intentional intimacy as “the desire to know and to be known by another for the glory of God.”

When we choose to live a life in which we intentionally interact with our loved ones, choosing to deepen our understanding of who God created him or her to be, we are choosing intentional intimacy. God gave us the ultimate expression of intentional intimacy when Jesus came to earth in human form, fully man and fully God, and He built relationships with His disciples and taught us all to reach beyond our personal feelings. Jesus was the definitive manifestation of grace and mercy.

Five Minute Families must understand that extending mercy, which is the act of withholding deserved punishment and showing grace, which is the act of endowing unmerited favor, are the best ways to move through day-to-day living.

Ask yourself a few questions to begin your family assessment:

1. Do you truly desire to be known by your family members?
2. Do you desire to better know your loved ones for the glory of God?

While those first two questions are technically yes or...

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is wonderful to join you again this week as we dive into one of our curriculum here at Clear View Retreat. Last week, we began the discussion about session 2 of Family Camp. If you missed the last two weeks, please go to our blog at www.clearviewretreat.org/welcome/blog. We have the audio, transcript, and an image that you can use if you desire.

Let’s jump into today. When we review in depth about intentional intimacy – which as you’ll remember is the desire to know and be known by another for the glory of God – we must understand that there are different aspects to intimacy.

Experts divide the intimacies many different ways. We choose to classify simply them in four ways: spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual. – I know, I know, you thought we would say five, but we don’t work everything in fives, it just seems that way sometimes.

Spiritual intimacy is not just about your relationship with God, though, of course, that is the most important relationship you will ever have. Spiritual intimacy is also about accepting your godly role in your family and fulfilling it to the best of your ability and about building your family members up in their relationships with God.

Physical intimacy is not just the obvious between husband and wife. It is the simple things of hugs and back rubs, holding hands and reassuring pats on the shoulder. Physical intimacy includes smiles instead of frowns and even the tone of voice you use on a regular basis.

Emotional intimacy begins with extending grace and mercy. Emotional intimacy involves controlling your temper when you are angry OR controlling your response when someone has an outburst in their anger. Emotional intimacy is more than just being able to share our deepest thoughts and feelings, it may also be understanding that sometimes our loved one only shares his or her deepest thoughts and feelings with the Lord.

When you play games together or learn new skills together, you and your loved one are sharing intellectual intimacy. When you challenge each other in opinions and work to understand each other’s differing points of view, you are deepening your intellectual intimacy.

Ephesians 4:2-3 encourages us “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” When we are intentional in the four areas of intimacy, we can be more united for the kingdom of Christ.

As we explore the intimacies, you must understand that each member of your family will hold different beliefs about your actions, their actions, about the Lord, and about the world around them. Romans 12:2 challenges us not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Renewing our minds is often much more difficult than we realize. Mostly because, many of us focus on behavior modification. We have all heard the adage “it takes 21 days to create a habit.” However, the reason many of us fail at behavior modification is that we are not getting to the heart of the issue. The beliefs we hold drive our thoughts, and our thoughts drive our actions. Without being intimate with the Lord and letting Him reveal our false beliefs, you can never experience the full depths of intimacy that the Lord allows in our earthly relationships. Self-evaluation is fundamental in a Five Minute Family. If you don’t know what is driving you, you will sabotage your own efforts to deepen your relationships.

Think of Anakin from Star Wars for a moment. He believed that he had to do certain things in order to save his wife and child, yet because his actions came from false beliefs, he ultimately destroys his wife in the end. So often, folks want to succeed in a relationship, but they are blinded to their own very behavior...

TRANSCRIPT: Thank you for joining us for Five Minute Families brought to you by Clear View Retreat, a family retreat ministry that exists to transform the way families and close communities relate with one another through our Family Camp program as well as marriage, ministry leader, & grief retreats.

It is wonderful to be back with you this morning. With all the changing information and attitudes and behaviors, it is fitting that we come to our overview of Session 3 for Clear View Retreat’s weekend Family Camp program. Session 3 is all about adjustment. As we all know, adjustments can be hard; they can be overwhelming, and sometimes, they seem downright impossible.

Let’s take some of the difficult parts of making adjustments and break them down into manageable snippets. Remember, we call this spot Five Minute Families for a reason. We want each and every family to know that we are all just five minutes away from making profound and lasting positive impacts on our family, on the community, and on generations to come.

At Family Camp, after recognizing our family’s current identity and then assessing that identity in light of God’s word, we must begin to adjust our perspectives to better align with God’s. Let us give you an example… If I believe I can fly and I think that I can fly and then I act on that belief and thought, I will be harmed. No matter what I believe, no matter what I think… God’s truth supersedes it all. Which, in our example, means God’s ordained earthly forces will come into play and gravity will cause your flight pattern to be non-existent. Just because you believe something does not make it true.

John 8:32 says, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Know truth. Teach truth. Encourage truth. God’s truth never changes, but our understanding of it does. Thus, it is incumbent upon us to change our perspective to match God’s. How do we do that as a family? Our pastor Sunday morning said, “To have a Christian marriage, you must be pursuing Christ.” And, the same is true of the whole family… To have a Christian family, you must be pursuing Christ. Pursuing Christ requires us to adjust our false or limited perspectives.

Here are five ways to begin to change your perspective:

1. Read God’s word daily. Take it a step further and memorize one verse per week. At the end of one year, you would have 52 verses memorized. For those of you who haven’t had kiddos yet, what if you were to start when your child was born? By the time he or she was 18, you would have 963 verses in which to pour into your child, your family, and, of course, yourself.
2. Discuss daily events together and challenge each other to see God’s hand in both the good and bad. Apply God’s Word to some of those discussions, and you can task one another to see what biblical character fits best with the current situation and how did they handle it.
3. Keep a family journal of prayer requests. Have that journal available often – for additions and for tracking answers to prayer requests. Take time to reflect on those prayers and share your story of family faith. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
4. Play praise music when you are working together. Even if you aren’t a good singer, it is good for your family to see and hear you sing praises even in the daily tasks of life. And, if your singing is really that bad, turning up the radio can help you feel more comfortable and expressive. If your children are younger, learn those great kid worship songs and connect with your kids as they grow and have new and different tastes.
5. Share daily at least one thing you are grateful for. Dinner times are a...

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families! It is so wonderful to hear what God is doing through families who choose to put Him foremost in their lives through this five minutes of radio. We would love to hear from you, too! Please comment on our blog at clearviewretreat.org or drop us a comment on our facebook page for Clear View Retreat.

As the hustle and bustle of our previous lives … oh, so slowly returns, wise families have taken time to reflect on what they really want to allow back in. But, hey, let’s be honest. We are all gonna be like kids in a candy-store. We will try to do “all the things we couldn’t do.” Some of those things can and should be added back in – visits with loved ones and work, which IS essential to us all. Some of those events and outings will be exciting. But, remember to be careful of the distractions. We will begin again to spend time with missed friends and organize playdates, but we should not forget the peace and calm that came from the Great Pause. Take your time to choose activities that will truly continue to enhance your family’s identity in Christ.

And that brings us to our main topic for today. For the past four weeks, we have tried to give you an overview of what we do out here at a Clear View Retreat Weekend Family Camp with those who choose to step away from the commotion of everyday life, disconnecting from all the distractions to reconnect with one another in meaningful and lasting ways. Hopefully, you have followed along with us as we explored the family identity, assessing that identity in light of God’s Truth, and adjusting those perspectives to better match God’s plan and purpose. Now, we would like to encourage our Five Minute Family listeners to take the time to chat with your family about what new things God is revealing to each of them.

Read together. Colossians 3:14, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” and Romans 12:10, “Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Take a moment after reading and ask how those verses apply to your family?

Jesus told stories, and he used those stories to guide his message. We use individual identifiers to label those stories… the Samaritan, the Son, the servant… wait. We actually call those stories something else, don’t we? They are the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son, the Faithful Servant. Those describing words mean a lot. They convey to the world a message about this person. As a family, look at some adjectives, in this case, actually, they are core values, but see what your family is being called to focus on. This qualifier you choose could be something you are hoping to work on as a family, or it could be something from the past that binds you in a unique way.

We will have a chart with over three dozen words online at the blog that you can check out, and here are five different categories of adjectives you could use:

1. You can choose a simple descriptive word which describes or classifies your family in an objective and nonjudgmental way. Words here such as trustworthy, forgiving, or honest
2. Your family might want a demonstrative word; one that serves as conclusive evidence of something that matters to you. One example is hopeful because of the difficult events you have survived together as a family. Another word would be mission-minded.
3. Maybe as a family you want a possessive descriptor denoting ownership of each other no matter what happens… a word such as united or committed would work best for you.
4. Some families challenge one another often bringing up interrogative-type words. Words such as inquisitive, curious, or even teachable.
5. The final category you might want to explore is distributive. In law, this term refers to being concerned with the way in which things are shared...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! It is wonderful to be back with you today. We are thankful for each of you and want to share with you how to connect further with us. We are Jim and Kim from Clear View Retreat. Just as Paul shared his life with his readers, so we too want to share life and Jesus with you all. May God richly bless you in your pursuit of Him.

Let’s dive into today’s topic. How do you help one another when someone in your household is sick? There are great suggestions online about how your family could serve another family in their time of need, but what do you do when the need is within your own home? We’ve all heard the jokes comparing when mom gets sick versus anyone else in the household. But, the reality is that we each have unique roles to play in our homes – kids included, and when one person is sick, it impacts us all. And, as a Five Minute Family, working toward finding those nuggets of time to demonstrate God’s love to the family He placed you in, is important. Let’s look at how you can minister to your sick loved one, even in the busy-ness of your own requirements and expectations.

Here at Clear View Retreat we speak often of one-anothering. The Bible is full of verses that inspire us to act in relation to one another. Instead of feeling inconvenienced when someone in the family is sick, we need to remember five of God’s one anothering statements.

John 13:14 Serve one another. When one family member serves another, it reminds each of us that Jesus served. When someone is sick, taking the time to think of what he or she might want to drink or eat, says that you were willing to set aside your own desires for the moment. It doesn’t take five minutes to make your sick family member a plate of food and bring it to them.

1 Corinthians 12:26 Suffer with one another. Recently, I had a yet another reaction to another medication that was supposed to help me. I felt defeated and like this health trial would never end. I started crying in front of my entire household. One of my sons sat next to me, put his arm around me, and let me cry. He didn’t try to fix it or cheer me up. He just sat with me. It took about two minutes of his time, but his gesture continues to minister to me today. I felt seen and heard and validated in my pain.

Acts 6:1-7 Care for one another. Sometimes, a sick family member takes more than just bringing them fluids and food. Extra trips to the store or the doctor’s office may be necessary. For kiddos, that may mean extra time away from your mom or dad. One of the best things kids can do for their parents if one is sick, is to be kind to their other siblings. If one of the other kiddos are sick, mom or dad must remember to cuddle up to the healthy child and remind him or her that they are important too.

Galatians 6:1-3 Carry each other’s burdens. We had a big celebration party planned, and I was too sick to do the edging of our walk and driveway. I really like the finished look of an edged lawn. But, I just couldn’t do it. My sweet husband could not have cared less if the lawn is edged or not. Mowed and weedeated, yes, but edging was my thing. However, because I could not do it, and he knew it mattered to me, he took the extra time to edge, not because I asked him but because he wanted to ease my burden.

Hebrews 10:25 Encourage one another. Five Minute Family, maybe there isn’t anything you can DO in the moment. Your loved one is going to have to go through the pain and process of whatever is ailing them. But, you can always choose to encourage each other. Maybe you write some of the sick family member’s favorite verses on notes and leave them for him or her to find. Maybe you choose to take an extra moment to smile when you are concerned, to hug when you are scared, or to laugh when you know you might cry. Bringing encouragement makes even the heaviest of days lighter.

May God bless your family with health and...