Grandad Roy, come and help Uncle Marc, would you?

Nottingham Forest beat Crystal Palace 1-0 and continued their remarkable defensive record, all while Chris Wood plays like prime Christian Vieri. But why is it all going wrong in south London? And can anyone tell Eze to stop shooting all the time? Marcus and Vish react to the Monday night football! Plus, the FA formally seek clarification that Gary O’Neil did indeed call them k***heads.

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Arne Slot’s lot are top of the table! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete talk through a pulsating Sunday afternoon showdown with Chelsea – but thankfully Pete won’t be revealing “everything that’s in his head”.

One thing Vish reveals is his belief that Howard Webb should be completely naked if he sits in the stands at any Premier League game – for full transparency – after he caused a stir down in Bournemouth. Plus, Gary O’Neil wages war with little guys after Wolves concede a gutting late winner to Man City, Vish gets an education in swinging, and David James’ big hands denying a mascot their dream goal at Anfield gets us thinking about the biggest hands we’ve ever shaken.

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Right then, Tommy Tuchs has got the big job so now we wait for the inevitable chaos that trails in his path. It's going to be box office, but is the entertainment factor worth it?

Marcus, Jim & Andy are here to debate whether it's time to bring back managerial double acts and which rules they reckon they could break if they played in the top flight.

Plus, a nod to Alan Pardew. Lovely to get a mench in for Pards.

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The Barclays is back! Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete are fizzing at the prospect of a goalmongous return when Spurs play West Ham in the Premier League tomorrow lunchtime.

Elsewhere, Marcus accuses Pete of making up managerial rumours. Does he have a point? Or is Pete just in the know...

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Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon.

For just $5 a month, you'll get an extended version of every Wednesday episode of the Ramble! It's called Ramble Uncut and it's full of all the stuff we would be talking about if football wasn't always getting in the way. You'll get correspondence from other Patreon subscribers, behind-the-scenes news and regular Pitbull updates.

Just head to patreon.com/footballramble to subscribe!

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“It’s difficult to believe, at this point, that the FA are in negotiations with Thomas Tuchel” - Luke Moore, 15th October 2024.

Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to react to the news that Thomas Tuchel is the new England manager. Strap in…

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It’s a Lions Watch takeover! Marcus and Luke cast their deciding votes on the future of the England managerial post: has Lee Carsley passed the job interview? Does he even want to pass the interview? Has he even submitted his CV for said interview?

They look back on the international break and England's performances, answer your questions, and discuss reports of the FA considering both Thomas Tuchel and Pep Guardiola. According to Luke, one’s using the England job as a negotiation tactic and the other MIGHT actually, genuinely be interested. But WHO?! Listen to find out!

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Who's more confused, Lee Carsley or Pete Donaldson? A question which is in itself so confusing that we're really confused trying to answer it. All we know is that England won yesterday and Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete are here to try and make sense of it all.

Elsewhere, Scotland didn’t win at the weekend but there is a new pizza named after Scott McTominay and Billy Gilmour, so that's a victory of sorts. But the real winner from the weekend is, of course, League One Manager of the Month Steve Bruce! You simply cannot keep a good man down.

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