00:00 Learning about self-love through her first romantic relationship

06:14 Sensorial artistic delights and practicing self kindness

13:52 How an eight-year-long committed relationship helps her practice receiving

15:42 The magic of instant chemistry and self awareness of her relational needs

23:31 Expectationless expectations, partnership evolutions, and staying open to exploration

26:00 How having bi partner helped her discover more about her own sexuality

28:00 Swinger parents influence on judgement-free love and open relationships

36:02 Learning how to process and communicate big emotions with a partner

38:10 Navigating social expectations around jealousy, internalized assumptions, and different communication styles

43:09 Knowing herself and noticing the patterns she received from trauma

44:59 A new era of non-monogamy and the roller coaster of dating on apps

50:10 A barroom quickie, a ghost, and setting goals for first dates

56:13 Best friend sexsplorations and learning different sides of herself come out with different partners

1:00:42 Needing an emotional connection for sex and the bests and worsts of online dating

1:04:17 Playful power dynamics and wanting partners to take control

1:09:36 Embracing and understanding her brattiness

📈 STATS | 32 bisexual white Latina cis woman, she/her pronouns, in an 8 year relationship (married for 2) and actively dating, polyamorous, brat, into: talking about relationships, power dynamics, fluid sexuality, sensory stimulation, long-term connections, and never-ending evolution

🔗 AVALON LINKS | @bellanaris.art

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Explore Luna's rabbit hole: @lunarwoohoo

00:00 Feeling love through movement, intimacy, and creating community

02:19 Why Spike loves tall nerds, clumsy weirdos, and lovers who help him learn

05:40 Catholic altar boy guilt and reflecting on shame with partners

07:51 Taking control and inviting audience and partners into play

11:37 Embracing being nasty and a suitcase full of safety

15:23 Discovering sex, reclaiming their body, and post cum clarity

19:56 Survival sex work, living in a cage, and unlocking sexual freedom

26:06 Dominance, secrecy, and tips for topping

31:08 Turned on by dancing for money and attention

34:30 What Spike loves about carnal and casual intimacy

36:36 Highly sensitive nipples and tender sensuality

41:01 Spit, self-flagellation, and casting spells

44:01 Solo toy explorations, strokers, and masturbation climaxes

46:56 Personal and pro partnered play

52:36 Foot play, power dynamics, and leather

58:15 Drag shows, male attention, and trying new things

1:00:52 Loving community, communication, and consent

🔗 SPIKE LINKS | @spikeprinceofcats / @spikesauce7 / OF

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[01:30:12] What makes me go WOO? The moon, croissants, and learning from others

[01:31:30] How learning about others' experiences shapes understanding of connection

[01:33:37] The reality of projections in new relationships and meeting expectations

[01:35:14] My obsession with "lining things up"

[01:37:41] How “lining things up” applies to photography, podcasting, and all creative work

[01:40:19] How I woo me: the importance of alone time

[01:45:06] How to woo me: food, touch, and engagement with creative work

[01:48:55] Building safety and trust in relationships

[01:50:44] Requirements for physical intimacy and love of clear containers

[01:54:22] Evolution from early podcast days to embracing all erotic arts

[01:56:56] Dreams of creating edurotic content and spaces

[02:00:13] Ongoing learnings navigating personal relationships

[02:01:29] Health, safety, and communication practices

[02:05:02] Patterns of boundaries in vanilla vs kinky connections

[02:15:52] Ongoing project: organizing my ultimate bucket list of pleasure exploration

[02:21:56] Vision for Explicit Negotiation edurotic series

[02:32:15] Future goals: redefining sex education and creating safe spaces for deep connection

[02:35:12] Dreams of co-creating a more connected, loving world together

🔗 PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Marc Brackett (Yale researcher, creator of RULER emotional intelligence program) - marcbrackett.com

Lisa Feldman Barrett (Neuroscientist, emotions researcher) - lisafeldmanbarrett.com

Esther Perel (Psychotherapist, relationships expert) - estherperel.com

Brené Brown (Researcher focusing on vulnerability and shame) - brenebrown.com

Andrew Huberman (Stanford neuroscientist, host of Huberman Lab podcast) - hubermanlab.com

Emily Nagoski (Sex educator and researcher, writer on sexuality and stress) - emilynagoski.com

Amelia Nagoski (Choral conductor, co-author on burnout research)

Cherie DeVille (Adult performer, former pod guest) - cheriedeville.com

Ophelia Kaan (Adult performer) - x.com/OpheliaKaan

Tyler Poelle (Acting teacher at Lesly Kahn) - tylerpoelle.com

RESOURCES / BOOKS:

"Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski

"Come Together" by Emily Nagoski

"Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle" by Emily & Amelia Nagoski

FreeSTDCheck.org

Ask a question, share a story or be a guest: howtowoo.fyi

Explore Luna's rabbit hole: @lunarwoohoo