Episodes

  • 67: Overcoming Past Rejection to Thrive in Marriage

    67: Overcoming Past Rejection to Thrive in Marriage
    Jan 22 2025

    Strengthening Your Marriage and Overcoming Rejection with Dr. Gary Lawrence

    In this podcast episode, Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the complexities of marriage and overcoming the impact of past rejection with special guest Dr. Gary Lawrence. Dr. Lawrence, a seasoned counselor and best-selling author of the book 'Rejection Junkies,' shares his extensive experience in helping couples strengthen their marriages and their connection to God.

    The discussion explores the formation of emotional patterns by age eight, the consequences of past rejection on marital relationships, and the importance of understanding and addressing these underlying issues. Dr. Lawrence provides insightful advice on identifying, isolating, and eliminating emotional problems, offering practical tools for couples to rebuild their lives and nurture a healthy, loving relationship.

    The episode also tackles misconceptions about performance-based acceptance in Christian life and emphasizes the role of grace. Through personal anecdotes and professional wisdom, Dr. Lawrence illustrates how to overcome bitterness and rejection, making this a valuable conversation for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of emotional health in marriage.

    Please check out Dr. G's website at https://rejectionjunkies.com/ where you will find his bestselling book called "Rejection Junkies."
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    52 mins
  • 66: Applying God's Word to Your Marriage

    66: Applying God's Word to Your Marriage
    Jan 15 2025
    Welcome Back to The Love How Deep podcast! In this episode of 'Love How Deep,' the hosts discuss the importance of integrating God's word into marriage. They deeply explore three key Bible verses (Psalm 46:10, Philippians 4:6-7, and James 1:2-4), sharing personal insights and practical applications for couples. Emphasizing concepts like being still, not being anxious, and finding joy in trials, the hosts offer valuable advice on how to foster better communication, understanding, and mutual support in a marital relationship. They also stress the significance of trusting God amidst life's challenges and cultivating spiritual growth together as a couple. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:04 Applying God's Word to Your Marriage 00:48 Deep Dive into Psalm 46:10 07:40 Understanding Philippians 4:6-7 15:39 Exploring James 1:2-4 26:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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    28 mins
  • 64: New Year New You

    64: New Year New You
    Jan 1 2025
    Welcome Back to The Love How Deep podcast! In this episode hosts Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the significance of New Year's resolutions for individuals and couples. They explore common resolutions such as health, finances, personal growth, and relationship improvement, and provide practical tips for setting achievable goals. The episode also delves into the importance of incorporating spiritual growth and God's guidance into the resolution-making process. The hosts address why resolutions often fail and share strategies for maintaining commitment, emphasizing the need for realistic objectives, accountability, and prayer. 1. Introduction "As the New Year begins, it's the perfect time to reflect on your marriage and set a vision for what God can do in your relationship."Overview: We want to guide couples on how to embrace the New Year as an opportunity to renew their relationship, grow closer to God, and cultivate habits that strengthen their bond.Key Verse: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 2. Talk About Most Common New Year’s Resolutions Health & Fitness: Losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more.Finances: Saving money, paying off debt, or learning to budget better.Personal Growth: Learning a new skill, reading more books, or pursuing a hobby.Relationships: Spending more time with family, improving communication, or resolving conflicts.Spiritual Growth: Praying more, attending church regularly, or reading the Bible daily.Mention how marriage-specific resolutions might include improving communication, prioritizing date nights, or praying together regularly.Key Verse: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18) 3. Statistics About Resolutions (Percent of People Who Maintain Resolutions) Initial Enthusiasm: Approximately 43% of people expect to keep their resolutions.Drop-Off Rates: Studies show only 23% of people stay committed after one month.Long-Term Success: By the end of the year, only about 9-12% report achieving their resolution goals.Top Factors for Success: Specific goals, accountability, and consistency increase the likelihood of success.Relate these statistics to marriage goals, emphasizing the importance of staying intentional and consistent throughout the year.Key Verse: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2) 4. Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail Unrealistic Goals: Setting lofty or vague goals without actionable steps (e.g., “I want a better marriage” vs. “We’ll pray together every evening”).Lack of Accountability: Without support or a system in place, it’s easy to lose momentum.Overwhelming Change: Trying to tackle too many resolutions at once can lead to burnout.Distractions: Life’s busyness can sideline good intentions.No Rooted Motivation: Goals disconnected from deeper values or faith often fizzle out. Key Verse: “His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) 5. Incorporate God Into the Process Pray for Guidance: Invite God to reveal His plans for your marriage in the coming year.Use the Word as a Foundation: Commit to studying Bible verses about love, unity, and forgiveness (e.g., Colossians 3:14, Ephesians 4:32).Discuss the importance of surrendering personal and marital struggles to God.Key Verse: "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) 6. Examples Health Goal for Couples: Walk together for 30 minutes daily and use the time to talk or pray.Financial Goal: Create a joint budget to align your spending with God’s priorities, like tithing or saving for family needs.Communication Goal: Commit to one uninterrupted hour each week to connect deeply, using open-ended questions. Compliment your spouse once every day. Ask family to share best of the day. Random Acts of Kindness. 5 Love Languages. Spiritual Goal: Begin a habit of praying aloud together before bed or choosing a verse for the year that represents your marriage focus. Conflict Resolution Goal: Practice “the 24-hour rule” where conflicts are addressed within a day, with God’s guidance for resolution. Take a deep breath. Ask for timeout when necessary. A supportive partnership strengthens a marriage during life’s challenges. Couples are called to persist together, even when the way forward seems impossible. Key Verse: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.” (John 15:5) 8. Call to Action Pray about one specific area they’d like to grow in as a couple this year.Share this episode with another couple who might benefit from these principles. Please share this episode and subscribe to our podcast through: Goal Setting 101 (Individual, Couple, Family Goals)Goal Setting 201 (Home Improvement)Goal ...
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    28 mins
  • 63: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage

    63: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage
    Dec 24 2024

    Podcast Outline: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage

    • "How does the story of Joseph, Mary, and the birth of Jesus shine a light on our marriages today? Their journey teaches us about trust, obedience, worship, support, and faith in the face of the unknown."

    • Overview: This episode explores the Christmas story from a fresh perspective, drawing lessons for couples to apply to their relationships.

    2. Theme 1: OBEDIENCE to God’s Will and Stepping Out in FAITH

    • Scriptural References:

      • Luke 1:26-38: Mary’s obedience to follow God’s will, saying, “May your word to me be fulfilled,” despite not fully understanding how it would unfold. It’s impossible. (I am not worthy).

      • Matthew 1:18-25: Joseph’s obedience after God’s message in a dream, trusting Mary’s story and God’s plan. This is not allowed. (We will be despised).

    • Marriage Application:

      • Obedience in marriage means aligning your relationship with God’s will, even when the path is unclear.

      • Like Joseph and Mary, couples can choose obedience by supporting one another and walking in faith, even in the face of uncertainty.

    • Discussion Prompt: How can couples encourage one another to hear and follow God’s voice?

    3. Theme 2: TRUSTING God and SUPPORTING Each Other (The Journey – Nazareth, Bethlehem, Egypt, Nazareth)

    • Scriptural References:

      • Luke 2:1-7: Trust in God to guide them safely during Mary’s pregnancy.

      • Matthew 2:13-15: Trust in God’s guidance as Joseph obeys the dream to flee to Egypt, stepping into the unknown to protect his family. Angel of the Lord continues to come to Joseph – spiritual leadership.

    • Marriage Application:

      • Marriage thrives when both partners trust God and trust each other to hear from Him.

      • Trusting God involves believing He will care for your family, even when you can’t see the full picture.

      • A supportive partnership strengthens a marriage during life’s challenges.

      • Couples are called to persist together, even when the way forward seems impossible.

    • Discussion Prompt:

      • What steps can couples take to deepen their trust in God and each other?

      • What are some practical ways to support your spouse during a challenging season?

    4. Theme 3: Worship and Gratitude in the Midst of Trials

    • Scriptural References:

      • Luke 1:46-56: Mary’s song of worship (The Magnificat) praises God’s faithfulness even as she faces the uncertainty of her role in His plan. She is still in a place where this has not completely unfolded yet (praise in the midst of trials! (while she was with Elizabeth).

      • Luke 2:19: Mary treasured and pondered all the events surrounding Jesus’ birth, seeing the unfolding of God’s vision.

    • Marriage Application:

      • Worship during trials brings perspective and strength to a marriage.

      • Gratitude shifts focus from the challenges to God’s blessings and faithfulness.

    • Discussion Prompt: How can couples create moments of worship and gratitude, even in difficult seasons?

    7. Practical Takeaways for Marriage

    • Lesson 1: OBEDIENCE to God’s will builds trust and unity. This also includes FAITH

    • Lesson 2: TRUST God and your spouse to hear from Him, especially during difficult times. This also means SUPPORTING each other in the midst of challenges.

    • Lesson 3: WORSHIP together as an act of gratitude, even in trials.

    • Please share this episode and subscribe to our podcast through:

      • Apple Podcasts

      • YouTube www.youtube.com/@lovehowdeep

    9. Closing

    • Thank you for joining and encourage them to tune in next week for more biblical marriage insights.
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    25 mins
  • 62: Navigating Grief in Marriage - Finding Strength Together

    62: Navigating Grief in Marriage - Finding Strength Together
    Dec 18 2024
    Grief Can Strengthen Your Marriage In this episode of the Love How Deep podcast, hosts Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the challenges of overcoming grief within a marriage. They share personal stories of loss, including the passing of Brian’s grandparents, Heather’s stepfather, and beloved pets. The couple highlights the importance of being patient, present, and prayerful during times of grief. Offering comfort and support to each other is essential, they explain, in navigating these difficult moments together. The episode also includes relevant Bible verses and practical tips for couples dealing with loss. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 00:21 Personal Stories of Loss 01:53 Coping with Expected Loss 03:53 Dealing with Sudden Loss 07:38 Grieving Pets 10:52 Supporting Each Other Through Grief 13:00 Biblical Comfort and Practical Tips 19:12 Conclusion and Farewell
    Rate, Review, & Follow Love How Deep Podcast on Apple Podcasts

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    Youtube

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    Thanks so much for tuning in!
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    21 mins
  • 61: Empty Nest Adventures - Finding Joy in Togetherness

    61: Empty Nest Adventures - Finding Joy in Togetherness
    Dec 11 2024

    Find Your Way Back to Each Other Once Your Kids Leave the Nest

    In this episode, Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the challenges and opportunities of being empty nesters, sharing their 10-year journey and offering advice on maintaining and strengthening marital connections. They emphasize the importance of viewing the empty nest phase as a positive transition, highlighting the value of rekindling the dating aspect of the relationship, engaging in shared activities and hobbies, and connecting with church communities for support. They also discuss the role of love and support in marriage, referencing biblical teachings and offering practical tips and resources for couples feeling disconnected. The episode encourages couples to seek help when needed and provides various suggestions to stay connected, such as using the Gottman card deck app for meaningful conversations and setting future goals together. 00:00 Introduction to Thriving as Empty Nesters 00:27 Embracing the Empty Nest Transition 01:12 Staying Connected with Your Spouse 04:12 Practical Tips for Reconnecting 07:54 The Importance of Church and Community 11:10 Making Future Plans Together 14:04 Seeking Help and Professional Guidance 16:31 Conclusion and Encouragement
    Rate, Review, & Follow Love How Deep Podcast on Apple Podcasts

    Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support more married couples strengthen their marriage and grow closer to God.

    Youtube

    Subscribe to the Youtube Love How Deep Channel for more great content like this.

    Thanks so much for tuning in!
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    19 mins
  • 60: Thriving in Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife

    60: Thriving in Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife
    Dec 4 2024
    Are you operating in the biblical roles God set forth for marriage? In this episode, Brian and Heather Mayer interview Michael and Tania Koehler, founders of Marriage Mania Ministry. They discuss their approach to biblical roles in marriage. They emphasize the complementarian view, highlighting specific commands for husbands (lead, protect, provide) and wives (submit, respect, support). They share personal experiences, noting challenges in their own marriage and the importance of humility, prayer, and mutual respect. They stressed that submission is loving and not demanding, and advised against nagging or demanding change in one's spouse. They also mentioned their resources, including books and online content, available at marriagemaniaministry.com. Introduction and Background of Michael and Tania Koehler Brian Mayer introduces Michael and Tania Koehler, highlighting their marriage ministry and the similarities in their missions. Michael and Tania express their excitement about being on the program and the importance of the topic. Brian and Heather Mayer share their excitement about learning from Michael and Tania. Michael and Tania share their background, including their marriage, their daughter, and their ministry, Marriage Mania Ministry. Overview of Marriage Mania Ministry Michael and Tania describe their ministry, which includes teaching classes, mentoring couples, and expanding their reach online. They mention their podcast, books, and other materials, including a marriage coloring book and gratitude journals. Tania shares about her book "The Helper: The Role of a Biblical Wife" and Michael's companion book on the role of a biblical husband. Michael and Tania discuss their journey in ministry and the impact of their online presence. Biblical Roles of the Husband and Wife Michael explains the egalitarian and complementarian views on the roles of husbands and wives. He emphasizes the complementarian view, stating that men and women are different and have distinct roles from God. Michael outlines specific commands for husbands and wives from the Bible, including leadership and submission. He highlights the importance of following God's ways because they are the best way to do things. Challenges and Misconceptions in Biblical Roles Tania and Michael discuss the cultural view of submission and how it differs from the biblical perspective. They emphasize that submission is a loving act and not a demanding right. Michael talks about the importance of husbands leading as Christ leads the church, sacrificially and with understanding. Tania shares her personal journey of learning and unlearning about submission and respect in marriage. Personal Experiences and Learning in Marriage Tania shares her initial resistance to starting their marriage ministry and how she eventually came to support it. She discusses the importance of respect and communication in marriage and how she has grown in understanding submission. Michael talks about his tendency to people-please and how he has learned to lead his family with God's guidance. They both emphasize the importance of humility and prayer in their leadership and decision-making. Practical Advice for Couples Heather Mayer shares her experiences with couples who struggle with decision-making and submission. Michael and Tania discuss the importance of weighing both spouses' desires and making decisions that are best for the family. They emphasize the need for communication and understanding in marriage. Tania highlights the importance of gratitude and respect in building a strong marriage. Addressing Misunderstandings and Misconceptions Brian Mayer asks about the misunderstandings and misconceptions around submission. Michael explains that submission is not about losing oneself but about looking out for the interests of others. Tania emphasizes that submission is a loving act and not a demanding right. They discuss the importance of understanding the specific commands for husbands and wives in the Bible. Handling Quarrelsome or Nagging Spouses Brian Mayer asks Michael how he handles a quarrelsome or nagging wife. Michael emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and prayer for both spouses. He suggests focusing on personal growth and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in the marriage. Tania shares her advice for wives who feel their husbands are not leading, emphasizing the importance of repentance and gratitude. Final Thoughts and Resources Brian Mayer wraps up the conversation, expressing gratitude for the insights shared by Michael and Tania. Michael and Tania mention their resources, including their books and online presence, and provide contact information. They express their desire to continue connecting and supporting each other in their ministries. The conversation ends with mutual appreciation and a commitment to stay connected. Resources Mentioned Marriage Mania Ministry Website The Helper: The Role of...
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    52 mins
  • 59: Uplevel Your Marriage with these Money Hacks

    59: Uplevel Your Marriage with these Money Hacks
    Nov 27 2024

    Ready to take control of your finances and strengthen your marriage in the process?

    In this episode, you’ll hear Brian and Heather Mayer share practical financial hacks designed just for married couples like you. From budgeting tips to creative ways to save, they’ll inspire you to make small changes that add up to big results.

    Heather and Brian open up about their personal experiences with financial hardships, offering insights on how strategies like meal planning, secondhand shopping, and tithing have made a difference in their lives. You’ll discover the value of using free resources from your local library, implementing the cash envelope system, and cautiously using credit card rewards. They also cover practical steps like doing insurance checkups, setting up automatic transfers to a high-yield savings account, and planning no-spend days to keep your finances on track.

    As you listen, you’ll learn how trading services within your family or community can save money while building relationships. Heather and Brian’s simple yet effective ideas will empower you to take charge of your financial management with confidence and purpose.

    Action Items for You

    • Plan your meals and prep on Sundays to reduce spending on dining out.

    • Visit secondhand stores or try DIY projects for clothing and home decor.

    • Review your insurance policies and shop around for better rates.

    • Set up automatic transfers to a high-yield savings account for consistent saving.

    • Schedule a no-spend day or weekend and explore free or low-cost family activities.

    • Check out the free Goal Setting 301 resource to sharpen your financial goals.

    Episode Highlights

    Financial Hacks for Married Couples
    You’ll hear Heather and Brian share their own financial journey, including their challenges with debt and how they overcame them. Their relatable stories will motivate you to cut non-essential expenses and focus on what truly matters.

    Meal Planning and Preparation
    Are you spending too much on eating out? Heather and Brian explain how planning meals for the week and involving your kids in the process can save you time and money.

    Shopping at Secondhand Stores
    If you’ve never considered secondhand shopping, you’ll be surprised by the treasures Heather and Brian have found! Learn how thrift stores can help you save on everything from furniture to clothes.

    Tithing and Financial Blessings
    Discover the peace and blessings that come from tithing, as Heather shares her personal experience of God’s provision during hard times.

    Library Resources and Cash Envelope System
    Save more by taking advantage of free resources like books and movies from your library. Plus, find out how the cash envelope system can help you stay on budget.

    Credit Cards and Insurance Checkups
    Get tips on using credit cards wisely and how regular insurance reviews can help you avoid unnecessary costs.

    Automatic Transfers and No-Spend Days
    Learn how automatic savings transfers and no-spend days can keep your finances in check while encouraging your family to embrace simpler, fun activities.

    Trading Services and Financial Goals
    Ever thought about trading services with friends or neighbors? Heather and Brian explain how this can be a win-win for saving money and building community.

    Resources for You

    Free Goal Setting 301 Worksheets:

    Don’t miss the free Goal Setting 301 guide to help you create actionable financial goals. Subscribe to the podcast and their YouTube channel for more practical tips and encouragement.

    Heather and Brian leave you with this reminder: being good stewards of your money isn’t just about cutting costs—it’s about managing your resources with intention and aligning them with biblical principles. Take the next step today, and watch how these small hacks can transform your finances and your marriage!

    Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

    Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support more married couples strengthen their marriage and grow closer to God.

    Subscribe:

    To the Youtube Love How Deep Channel for more great content like this.
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    35 mins