Episodes

  • A quick thank you and we'll be back next year!

    A quick thank you and we'll be back next year!
    Dec 2 2024

    Have an excellent start to 2025 - from Tim and Pilar.
    www.managementcafepodcast.com
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    5 mins
  • MC90 Manager Mindset: Pessimism

    MC90 Manager Mindset: Pessimism
    Nov 18 2024

    Who knew that talking about pessimism could be so much fun... even if most of the laughter is self-deprecating. In today's episode, hosts Tim Burgess and Pilar Orti talk about what happens when we let our "inner pessimist" come through.

    For more information, visit www.managementcafepodcast.com

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    23 mins
  • MC89 Manager Mindset: Comparison

    MC89 Manager Mindset: Comparison
    Oct 28 2024

    The new series on Manager Mindsets starts with a discussion of comparison.

    Comparison is unavoidable, especially in the age of social media. It can feed difficult and unpleasant emotions like doubt, jealousy and imposter syndrome. Indeed, someone once said “Comparison is the thief of joy”. And if we aren’t careful comparison can even tempt us into mindlessly copying others, which takes us away from our own unique path.

    But in many aspects comparison can be helpful. It can be wonderfully motivating. It can show us what can be improved and help us understand what we value. It can even expand our concept of what is possible.

    The challenge for managers is how to have a healthy relationship with comparison and what can we do to combat it’s less helpful manifestations…

    02:30 Tim describes how he struggles with comparison, especially the contrast between his own struggles versus the dazzling successes that his peers post online.

    3:45 Pilar and Tim share strategies for how they manage comparison and envy.

    6:15 It’s important to view other’s achievements in context. We often underestimate the other person’s effort or how their circumstances are different to ours.

    8:00 Comparison is somewhat unavoidable and can also be very healthy.

    13:15 We should avoid using comparison as in order to mindlessly copy what others are doing? Can we avoid putting ourselves above or below what we’re comparing against? Can we use comparison as a helpful tool for curiosity and learning?

    13:50 It can take quite a lot of mental effort to let go of comparison and feel comfortable that your journey is the best pathway for you.

    15:00 In the era of social media and LinkedIn, it’s very hard to avoid comparison because it gets pushed at you.

    16:40 Comparison can fuel competitiveness.

    17:30 If we can detach our judgement from comparison then it can teach us things that we want but don’t have. And it can help us work out if we want to change.

    10:00 Pilar shares an excellent story from her theatre days of how comparison without awareness can threaten our individuality.

    19:00 As managers, we can really help our team when we see them struggling with comparison. Helping somebody explore why they’re comparing and finding out what’s helpful or unhelpful to them about those comparisons can be huge.

    20:45 Tim shares how comparison had positive impacts on his development. There have been individuals, managers and companies that he admired and wanted to emulate. Comparison was helpful in showing a desired end state and also what needed to change in order to get there.

    21:45 There can also be a danger of complacency or arrogance when we compare ourselves against others who we think are below our level.

    23:45 Our hosts end the episode excited about their next topic for discussion… pessimism!

    What about you, dear listener? Do you find comparison mostly helpful or harmful in your management practice? We’d love to hear from you!


    Compare your stories to ours: get in touch through www.managementcafepodcast.com/contact
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    25 mins
  • MC88 Feedback, Mindset vs Cognitive Tendencies and Long-Covid Awareness

    MC88 Feedback, Mindset vs Cognitive Tendencies and Long-Covid Awareness
    Oct 14 2024

    As co-hosts Tim Burgess and Pilar Orti wrap up the Manager Emotions series, they explain why they're moving onto mindset, and how this is different from cognitivie tendencies (and why they might well be mixing the two up!). Plus, some feedback on our episode on Emotional Contagion, and Pilar shares an episode from Workplace Geeks where one of her connections talks about living with long-covid and how this affects her work life. https://www.audiem.io/podcasts/work-life-and-long-covid

    Get in touch with Pilar and Tim through the https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/

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    19 mins
  • MC87 Manager Emotions: Confusion

    MC87 Manager Emotions: Confusion
    Sep 30 2024

    Our hosts Tim Burgess and Pilar Orti talk about the many times they've been confused, the difficulties in feeling the emotion as individual and manager, and what happens when a team member becomes confused.

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    28 mins
  • MC86 Manager Emotions: Compassion

    MC86 Manager Emotions: Compassion
    Sep 16 2024
    For the sixth episode of our series on manager emotions, Tim Burgess and Pilar Orti talk about Compassion. Good leaders don't just remove obstacles and show their people the way forward. People also need to know that their leaders will support them in the hard times. And importantly, they need leaders to demonstrate compassion when they are in difficulty. This is distinct from sympathy - where the leader might acknowledge someone is suffering but not do anything to help or even really align with their emotions. Empathy is closer - it helps when leaders can demonstrate that they understand and relate to their employee's feelings. But compassion is, in effect, a more active form of empathy. It requires the further step of wanting to reduce the other person's suffering. This can be very nuanced for managers. It does not necessarily require them to solve the problem, support can manifest in many different forms. It might be stepping in and solving the problem. Or coaching the person through it. Or even just offering companionship. Compassion is not just something for managers to demonstrate to others. It's also important to be compassionate to ourselves. The Management Café often talks of the isolation that manager's experience. Our hosts are grateful that their management journey was made easier by the support and care of compassionate people within their teams. 01:30 mins We open with a definition of Compassion from Greater Good: "Compassion literally means 'to suffer together.' Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind, selfless behaviour often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion." 2:30 Sympathy expresses caring for the other person but it also maintains some separation from the person and their emotion. Empathy means we share the other person's emotion. Compassion means we see from the person's perspective but also adds another element, we want to help them. Compassion and sympathy are tied to the other person's suffering or discomfort, whereas empathy is not. 4:00 Compassion is an important attribute for leaders who want to build trust. People want to know that their leader will support and help them during hard times. 5:30 Compassion is not offering solution after solution. It is saying "This is hard. I know how you are feeling. What do you need? How can I help? I'm here for you." 7:00 This requires a high level of self-awareness and knowledge of our team members so that attempted compassion doesn't backfire and lead to helplessness. 7:30 If a solution is offered without empathy it can actually just demonstrate how little the manager understands about the situation and the other person's emotions. 8:00 We also need to be careful that we're solving their problem instead of our problem - where we offer help just so we don't have to deal with their suffering anymore. 8:45 Tim experiences this often, especially early in his leadership journey, where he gets into problem solving mode and tries to fix issues as quickly as possible. Often before the person has really had a chance to share their experience and needs. When he doesn't act with compassion and jumps to solutions, the other person becomes defensive and closes down. Tim is not creating the sort of safe space the other person needs in order to open up and receive support. 9:50 When managers demonstrate compassion it helps people to be honest about what's happening and how they are feeling and what they need. And this environment of psychological safety encourages better performance. 10:45 Empathy is companionship without support. Compassion is companionship with support. 11:00 We need to also show compassion to ourselves. If we are compassionate to ourselves it helps us be compassionate to others and also to receive compassion from others. How can we expect people to be compassionate towards us if we're not even compassionate to ourselves? 12:15 It is important how we talk to ourselves and how we frame our internal dialogue. If we have a compassionate mindset internally it will naturally extend into our way of being and how we express ourselves. 13:30 Management can be lonely. But having a compassionate team around you can be an enormous benefit. Compassion doesn't require them to take on your problem or even experience the exact emotional state that you're in. But it does mean that they care and they try to help. Tim and Pilar have been blessed to work with some very compassionate ...
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    16 mins
  • MC85 Manager Emotions: Pride

    MC85 Manager Emotions: Pride
    Sep 2 2024
    Welcome to the fifth episode of our series on manager emotions, where hosts Tim Burgess and Pilar Orti talk about Pride. We want to see good work, both in ourselves as managers and also in the teams that we lead. Pride creates a virtuous cycle that rewards and encourages healthy achievement. Do a good thing -> share this achievement with others -> receive recognition -> feel proud -> do more good things. But pride can be a tricky emotion in the workplace. Excessive displays of pride can turn people off. Pride can also clash with other attributes, most notably humility. Humility is a much valued characteristic which dictates that we don't draw attention to our own achievements. Pride can even become arrogance if we use our achievements to assert superiority over others. And to make it even more complex, we must be conscious that people might misinterpret or devalue our emotions. Many of us have had the jarring experience of expressing pride only to have our accomplishment criticised or be accused of self-importance. How then do we navigate pride at work? As leaders when can we express pride in a safe and helpful way? And how do we encourage this in those we manage? Join Pilar and Tim for coffee in the Management Café... 00:45 mins Pride is the feeling that you've done something good which you want to share with others and receive recognition. It can sometimes be confused with arrogance, but arrogance is about dominance. Arrogance says "I know more" or "I did better" and that makes me superior to you. It's the difference between wanting to share vs wanting to dominate. 1:45 When someone wants to "Blow their own trumpet" are they trying to share beautiful music or blast their horn in our ears? 2:45 Claude AI shared this definition of pride: "Pride is a complex emotion that can be defined as a feeling of deep pleasure, satisfaction, or self-respect derived from one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions, or those of someone with whom one is closely associated. Pride is often accompanied by a sense of accomplishment, confidence, and self-worth." 3:30 Tim used to deflect or downplay on the odd occasion people said something nice to him. But to receive recognition and feel proud... it feels amazing. It is very motivating. So he's tried to become more comfortable accepting compliments. But perhaps you, dear reader, could help him practice by sending a little love to https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ ? 4:30 Pride is a sharing emotion. And it tells others what we value. 5:30 We can be proud and not share it. There is a difference between feeling proud and expressing our pride to others, they don't have to be done together. And this distinction is especially important in the workplace. 7:00 It is generally safe for managers to express pride in the achievements of their team or the individuals that they manage. This means those individuals don't have to go seeking recognition and their manager is giving them license to be proud of themselves. 8:30 When a manager feels proud in their own work how do they express it? Tim thinks this is better to do amongst peers or up the organisational chart. 10:00 It is good to role model healthy pride to those we manage. 11:30 Humility is generally a more socially acceptable emotion than pride. When we feel pride but express humility there is a disconnect. 13:20 Praising others gives them license to express pride in their work. Similarly we are safer to express pride with people that have given us praise. 14:20 Expressing pride to the wrong audience can be risky. Tim shares a time when he was left totally deflated by someone's response. 16:20 Pilar poses the question: what to do when someone is proud of something that wasn't actually that good? Tim proposes serving up the much maligned feedback sandwich. 18:30 Pilar points out that we can acknowledge their pride now and give the feedback about some aspects of the work later. It's critical that we don't squash their pride in the moment. Their pride comes with vulnerability because they are showing what they care about and they are seeking validation or affirmation. We should also be mindful of the fact that when someone shares their pride with us. they are signalling that they view us as a person who will treat their pride appropriately. What about you, dear listener? How do you feel and express pride at work? We'd love to hear from you! Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/
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    22 mins
  • MC84 Emotional Contagion (part of the Manager Emotions season)

    MC84 Emotional Contagion (part of the Manager Emotions season)
    Aug 19 2024
    For the fourth episode of our series on manager emotions we talk about Emotional Contagion, as it's something that keeps coming up. Emotional Contagion describes how one person's emotions can induce similar emotions in others. This is often happening at an unconscious level, for example, we mimic someone's facial expression and start to feel the same emotion. Managers should be especially mindful of this phenomenon and its potential impacts. When a leader gets angry or happy or sad, everyone around them also feels a bit of that same emotion. Leaders are a focal point of interaction meaning they are more susceptible to emotional contagion than followers. This brings both challenges and opportunities. Whilst emotional contagion often operates at a subconscious level, leaders can take deliberate steps to guide the emotional state of themselves and those around them. 00:20 mins Emotional contagion is an important concept for managers to understand - that your emotions impact those around you and vice versa. 1:20 Tim shares an example (possibly an urban myth): your co-workers become less happy if your partner has a bad boss. Even though the workplaces are separate, the bad boss means your partner is less happy. And this means you are less happy. And this unhappiness spreads to your co-workers. 2:00 As per the example above, the effects of emotional contagion spread beyond the workplace. Tim became conscious of this when running Shield GEO where many of the employees worked from home. What are the emotions and influences that a digital workplace brings into the sanctity of someone's home? 4:00 Pilar references a 2002 study by Sigal G. Barsade of the University of Pennsylvania titled "The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion and Its Influence on Group Behavior". It talks about emotional contagion as the transfer of emotion between individuals. 5:20 Tim shares an embarrassing story of grumbling about his workplace being negative, only for a co-worker to point out that maybe it was Tim's own negativity that was infecting the workplace! This valuable feedback helped him better understand his role in creating the work environment that he wanted. 6:50 Sometimes emotional contagion happens unconsciously. But other times we can deliberately spread an certain emotion. Going back to the Barsade paper it talks about moods as compared to emotions, making the point that these are easily influenced transient states. Our emotions change with time and different environmental stimuli. 8:45 If we are mindful of emotional contagion when going through challenging events like layoffs, it can change our behaviour. e.g. Perhaps we take steps to reduce anxiety. 9:40 Pilar points out that we don't just influence a group's emotions by interacting directly with the whole group. We can also work at a one-to-one level with individual members who will spread those emotions back through the group. 10:20 Emotional contagion gives a powerful argument for managers to moderate their emotional responses. When managers express emotions like anger it doesn't just impact the people they interact directly with. The effects ripple out. This also means there are wonderful opportunities for the manager to model helpful emotional behaviour and reactions. 11:55 Barsade's research showed that the spread starts with mimicking. People spontaneously mimicking each other's facial expressions, body language, speech patterns and verbal tones. And the mimicking triggers people to feel the emotions. Perhaps an argument for cameras off on some video calls? 13:30 Pilar shares that people who have had Botox injections in their face are perceived as less empathetic because they don't mimic, and so, their body doesn't prompt them to feel others' emotions. 15:00 There is also a conscious level of emotional contagion where we compare our mood to those around us and adjust accordingly. Am I the only one who is angry or happy in this group? 16:30 Tim found the ripple effect of emotions to be a helpful guide. When you treat someone with kindness or care, it doesn't end there. They carry that with them and spread it further. 17:45 Pilar points out that this is a good reminder that even small actions have an impact. And even if we don't see an immediate impact our efforts will be making some difference. 18:45 Interestingly the research found that negative emotions don't spread any faster than positive emotions. And in fact sometimes strong positive emotions can be too much. Tim speculates that this is a British attitude but alas, he's quite wrong, the paper came from the University of Pennsylvania. 20:40 Perhaps negative emotions are more inward focussed and therefore less likely to spread. But positive emotions are generally outward focussed. 22:30 The paper showed that most people were unaware of emotional contagion. Both unaware they were impacted by other's emotions and unaware they were impacting other's emotions. 23:15 Our ...
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    33 mins