Key Takeaways:

• Embrace the busy and often unpredictable nature of the festive season with a mindset of self-compassion and adaptability.

• Family traditions may evolve over time, and it’s okay for things to look different year to year.

• Practicing mindfulness and taking time for personal reflection can be crucial for mental health during busy times.

• Asking for help and setting boundaries can mitigate overwhelming feelings during the holiday season.

• Finding joy amidst change and nostalgia is essential, even when family members are geographically apart.

Notable Quotes:

• "The Christmas period is actually quite different this year for me to what I've experienced before." – Colett Smart

• "Too late for whom? Whose rules are those?" – Colett Smart

• "It's okay that I'm missing my other children... I'm giving myself permission to feel nostalgic." – Colett Smart

Resources:

• Listen to the episode "When it’s Not the Most Wonderful Time of Year" for coping strategies during difficult holidays.

• Explore insights on self-compassion with Dr. Veya Seekis' episode here

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Check Susanne's website out - https://www.susannegerstmyer.com/

"I help way too busy mums break the cycle of overwhelm
and enjoy life more" ~ Susanne Gerstmyer

Join Colette Smart as she explores the theme of busyness with guest Susanne Gerstmyer, author of "Breaking Free of Busy." They unpack the mental and emotional aspects of a packed schedule, the impact on family dynamics, and offer practical strategies to prioritise connection over perfection. Susanne shares her journey from burnout to balance and offers insights into making intentional choices to reclaim time and energy. This ep provides valuable reflections for parents navigating the demands of raising teens while fostering meaningful relationships and self-awareness.

Key Takeaways:

• Susanne Gerstmyer emphasises that the root of busyness goes beyond schedules and tasks, stemming from internal beliefs and emotions.

• The different dimensions of busyness include practical, mental, and emotional aspects, which must be managed comprehensively for effective change.

• Recognise the unrealistic societal deadline mindset often associated with end-of-year schedules and the importance of simplifying tasks.

• The emotional climate set by parents heavily influences family dynamics; prioritising connection over perfection is vital.

• Introspection into why we overcommit is crucial; understanding the need for validation or the fear of failure can help manage tendencies towards busyness.

Notable Quotes:

• "Who we are is far more important and impactful than anything we do."

• "I realised that it's okay for other people to be unhappy or to be inconvenienced."

• "When we're too busy, we often miss some of those subtle signals and cues about what's going on with our families."

• "Trying to choose connection over perfection and recognising that it's when we're actually just being real and not trying to make everything perfect."

• "My hope is that families would really be able to be intentional about that and in doing so, enjoy the season and show up as the best that they can be rather than a busy, crazy person."

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Help with eating disorders - The Butterfly Foundation

Help with feeling suicidal - Beyond Blue

Psychologist Collett Smart discusses vital signs of mental health struggles in teenagers during Mental Health Month. Drawing on insights from Graeme Cowan, she offers six key indicators, such as changes in behavior, social withdrawal, and substance abuse. Tips include listening actively, supporting through small tasks, and encouraging professional help. Tackle the daily ups and downs of teenage life with practical strategies and a compassionate approach.

Key Takeaways:

Recognising Changes in Behavior: Parents should look for sustained changes in their teen's behavior or mood over two weeks or more, which might signal underlying mental health issues.

Social Withdrawal: A noticeable decrease in a usually social teenager’s engagement with friends or activities could be a red flag of mental health struggles.

Changes in Appetite: Significant increases or decreases in eating habits might indicate emotional distress or potential eating disorders.

Negative Talk: Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness should be taken seriously and approached with empathy and support.

Substance Abuse Signals and Tiredness: Increased use of alcohol or drugs and persistent fatigue or insomnia can be indicators of deeper mental health issues that need addressing.

Notable Quotes:

"Their brains are going through massive changes, and they're learning to do really hard things." – Collett Smart

"You know your teen better than anyone. What you will be looking for are changes to what you consider normal for your teen." – Collett Smart

"Mental ill health drains your energy. They might not feel like they want to put on a brave face for everyone when they go out." – Collett Smart

"It's important to walk with people sometimes side by side or sit in the car, particularly for some teens if listening face to face is confronting." – Collett Smart

"Rather than saying you need support, which may make some teens feel like they're weak or they're not good enough, I love to use Michelle Mitchell's phrase, you deserve support." – Collet

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

I CARE Framework: Learn how to Identify changes in behavior, show compassion, Access mental health experts, Revitalise social engagement, and the importance of Exercise.

Engaging Teen Boys: Effective ways to engage young men in mental health conversations through shared activities and subtle inquiries.

Self-Care for Carers: The importance of carers maintaining their own vitality, intimacy, and prosperity to provide effective support.

Holistic Approach to Recovery: Emphasise the role of a holistic approach, incorporating regular exercise, healthy eating, and strong social connections.

Community Resources: Utilise resources like Reach Out and Kids Helpline for additional support and information.

Notable Quotes:

"A conversation could change a life." – Graeme Cowan

"Don't be afraid to let that [question] hold out there. Don't feel you have to fill the gap with noise." – Graeme Cowan

"Self-care isn't selfish; if we don't care ourselves, there's no way we can offer support and patience and guidance for a young person who could be struggling." – Graeme Cowan

"The more that a young man feels understood, the greater our capacity to influence them." – Graeme Cowan

"We need to act like a VIP: vitality, intimacy, prosperity. Think each day, how can I top up those glasses?" – Graeme Cowan

Resources:

• R U OK? – Information about the organisation and resources.

• Reach Out – Resources for young people and parents.

• Graeme Cowan's Books: Access to the "Back from the Brink" series.

• Kids Helpline – Support and resources for young people and parents.

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

Influence of Self Talk: The constant internal chatter significantly impacts our emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being, with both positive and negative aspects.

Parental Responsibility: The manner in which parents talk to their children can shape their children’s inner voices, underlining the importance of mindful and compassionate communication.

Recognition and Awareness: Encouraging teens to recognize and articulate their negative self talk can diminish its impact and pave the way for positive thinking.

Challenging Negative Thoughts: Teaching teens to question the validity of their negative self talk and to reframe it in a constructive, supportive manner is crucial for mental resilience.

Impact of Media and Social Influences: Monitoring media consumption and discussing its impact helps teens understand and mitigate negative influences on their mental health.

Notable Quotes:

"Our voice will become our child's inner voice."

"Negative self talk can often be the loudest and most constant voice in our heads."

"Saying sorry teaches kindness, humility, and empathy."

"Helping teens challenge their thoughts by asking, 'Is this actually true?'"

"Respond to negative self talk as you would to a friend—with kindness and support."

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listen to a Past Episode from Dr. Veya Seekis here - TikTok and Body Image

To learn about Dr. Veya's work, at Griffith University or her Paper on TikTok

This episode, Collett Smart teams up with Dr. Veya Seekis from Griffith University to discuss the transformative power of self-compassion in raising teens. Delve into actionable insights on acknowledging emotions, soothing techniques, and the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem. Listen as they explore practical steps for parents and teens to foster self-compassion, ensuring healthier emotional development and well-being.

Key Takeaways:

Definition of Self-Compassion: Self-compassion involves acknowledging one's pain, recognising it as a shared human experience, and offering oneself kindness, as one would to a friend.

Comparison with Self-Esteem: While self-esteem is contingent on success and external validation, self-compassion provides a stable, internal framework for managing stress and emotions.

Traffic Light System: This practical approach uses red for stopping and acknowledging feelings (mindfulness), amber for recognising shared humanity, and green for practicing self-kindness.

Benefits for Teens: Practicing self-compassion helps mitigate stress, prevents rumination, and may alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, making it a vital skill for teenagers.

Pilot Program Insights: Dr. Seekis’ school program shows that self-compassion techniques can be successfully integrated into the curriculum and can impact teens' ability to manage stress effectively.

Notable Quotes:

"In a nutshell, self-compassion is really just learning to be your own best friend."

"When we are being self-compassionate, we are acknowledging that we're in pain, understanding that this pain is not unique to us, and showing ourselves some kindness."

"Self-compassion is an emotion regulation strategy. It helps us in those moments when we're stressed, disappointed, or in pain."

"The traffic light system uses red to stop and acknowledge feelings, amber to recognise shared humanity, and green to practice self-kindness."

"Self-esteem can only be high during positive outcomes, whereas self-compassion offers a way to manage emotions irrespective of external success or failure."

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

Open Communication: Essential for integrating tracking apps harmoniously within the family. Parents should discuss and agree with their teens on how and why apps are used.

Modelling Healthy Tech Use: Parents should exemplify balanced, respectful tech habits, reinforcing mutual trust in the family.

Evaluate Pros and Cons: Weigh the benefits and concerns of tracking apps with your teens to ensure their comfort and privacy are considered.

Regular Review and Adjustment: Periodically reassess the necessity and impact of these apps to adapt to your teen’s growing need for independence.

Focus on Mutual Trust: These tools should foster trust and respect, not control; ensuring healthy emotional and developmental growth for teens.

Notable Quotes:

"Our children don't live in the same time as we grew up in, and so we have to parent differently for a different time."

"Boundaries are always about love and support and age-appropriate safety."

"Family use of the location apps doesn't imply mistrust, but rather reflects our commitment to their well-being and that we love them."

"It's very healthy for children to express these feelings and want some independence."

"This is just one small aspect of teaching children the importance of mutual respect and open communication, because those are the foundations of healthy relationships."

Past Episodes Mentioned in Episode

Digital Nutrition - Listen on Spotify

Internet Gaming Disorder - Listen on Spotify

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:

Importance of Grandparents: Grandparents provide emotional stability, a sense of continuity, and resilience-building for grandchildren.

Building Relationships: Key strategies include discovering the grandchild's interests, participating in their milestone events, and documenting family histories.

Respect and Boundaries: Grandparents must respect the parenting styles and boundaries set by parents to avoid conflicts.

Dealing with Technology: Collaboration with parents on screen time rules is essential, alongside encouraging non-screen-related activities.

Supporting Special Needs: Grandparents should educate themselves about neurodiversity and adapt their interactions to meet the needs of their grandchildren.

Notable Quotes:

"A key component of resilience is having an adult in your life that I've referred to as a charismatic adult, someone from whom you can draw strength." – Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg

"Your job as a grandparent is to celebrate diversity, to recognise that, for example, ASD affects one in every 100 Australians." – Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg

"The most important thing is to remain neutral. You can't take sides. You've got to prioritise the wellbeing of the children." – Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg

"What grandparents should never do is undermine parental authority, offer unsolicited advice, criticise parental choices." – Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg

"The birth of a grandchild results in a sort of heartfelt, unconditional love that actually is an equal sequel to what they felt for their own children." – Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg

Resources:

Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg’s Book: Grandparents

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.

Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.

Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.

Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.