On today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the topic of attachment with guest Thais Gibson, an author, counselor, and the co-founder of The Personal Development School. While the discourse around attachment so often focuses on identifying what’s “wrong” with us, in this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Thais explore how understanding and investigating our attachment style can create fertile ground for us to change the way we show up in relationships and break frustrating patterns. Our attachment style is not our destiny, and when we begin to understand the roots of this subconscious programming, we have the opportunity to reprogram ourselves for better and more fulfilling relationships. This episode will give you the tools and insights to start down that path and think more expansively about attachment.

Thais’s Instagram, The Personal Development School

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Today’s guest is Jillian Turecki, a certified relationship coach, teacher, author of the new book It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life, and host of the podcast, Jillian On Love. You’ve likely seen her wise and straightforward videos that get right to the heart of our most pressing dating and relationship questions. She’s helped thousands through her teachings, courses, writing, and her popular social media accounts to revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they can transform their romantic relationships.

One of the central tenets of Jillian’s work is the idea that the common denominator in all your relationships is you. A lot of us know in our bones that creating safety inside ourselves is the key to healthy relationships with others—but we don’t always know how to do this or where to start. Jillian and Dr. Alexandra also discuss estrangement and navigating complex relationships with family members. Tune in to today’s episode to hear all of Jillian’s wisdom!

Relevant Links:

It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths about Love That Will Change Your Life by Jillian Turecki

Jillian’s Instagram & website

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Today’s episode is part of a solo series on Reimagining Love about Family of Origin Roles (a.k.a. FOO roles). Tune in on the first two Tuesdays of each month to learn about how the roles we were cast into as children and held within our family systems shape how we show up in our relationships today. Whether you were the one who held the family together, the rebel who pushed back against household norms, or the “easy” kid who flew under the radar, we all inhabited a position in the community of our family and absorbed certain messages about love, connection, and worthiness as a result. Check out the introductory episode of the series if you missed it!

We’re taking a look at “The Peacemaker” role in today’s episode. All families have conflict, and it’s common for one child in the family to play a referee or mediator role, either through intervention or more subtler peacemaking strategies, such as comic relief. As adults, Peacemakers likely find themselves between friends and family members when there are tensions and may struggle to extract themselves from these dynamics. Does this sound like you, or someone you love? Listen to the episode to learn more about this role and how The Peacemaker can embark on their healing journey.

Relevant links:

Reimagining Love: Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic

Take the Family of Origin Roles Quiz

Reimagining Love: “Tending to ‘Little You’ & Exploring Your Family of Origin”

Dr. Alexandra’s Psychotherapy Networker Article

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question