Parenting can feel overwhelming at times, especially when it comes to supporting your child’s mental health. But here’s the good news: as their parent or someone in a parenting role, you are uniquely qualified to help them navigate these challenges and build resilience. You may not always have all the answers, and that’s okay. Understanding some key concepts and practicing a few strategies can make a big difference in your child’s mental and emotional well-being.

Struggling with mental health symptoms is a normal part of being human. It’s common to feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed at times. These feelings only become a concern when they’re too intense or difficult to manage without help. Your child might not always know how to handle these big feelings on their own, and that’s where you come in. As their parent, you can help them figure out what’s going on and how to deal with it in healthy ways.

A concept called coregulation can be extremely helpful in understanding how to help your child. Everyone has what’s called a window of tolerance. This is the zone where we feel calm and able to think clearly. When we’re outside this window—feeling overwhelmed or shutting down—it can lead to behaviors like tantrums, yelling, or withdrawal.

For children and teens, it’s especially hard to return to their window of tolerance on their own. They need a trusted adult to help them regulate their emotions, and that’s where coregulation comes in. As a parent, your calm presence can help soothe your child’s nervous system. Here are some ways you can practice coregulation:

• Stay calm even when your child is not.
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• Use a gentle voice and a steady tone.
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• Get down to their eye level or lower to help them feel safe.
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• Offer soothing strategies, like deep breathing or hugging.

When you practice coregulation, you teach your child how to manage their emotions over time.

Your child learns by watching you. If you want your child to handle stress well and care for their mental health, it’s important to model those behaviors yourself. That means taking care of your own well-being and showing your child what healthy coping looks like. The U.S. Surgeon General recently shared that parental stress is at an all-time high, which is why self-care is essential, not selfish.

Here are some self-care strategies you can use and model:

• Build a strong support system by staying connected with friends, family, or a community.
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• Get enough sleep - it’s crucial for your mood and energy levels.
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• Exercise regularly to reduce stress and boost your mental health.
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• Eat nutritious foods to fuel your body and mind.
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• Take breaks when you need them. Step away, breathe, and recharge.
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• Practice gratitude by looking for the positive moments in your day.

When your child sees you prioritizing your mental health, they learn that it’s important to care for themselves, too.

There will be times when you and your child have conflict – it’s just part of parenting. What matters most is how you handle it afterward. As the parent, it’s your responsibility to initiate the repair, even if your child was the one who started the argument.

After you both have had time to cool off, you might say something like:

“I know you were really angry just now and said some things you probably didn’t mean. Are you ready to talk about it, or...